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Dec 04 2006

Snake oil on a plane! Hinn sleaze flying higher than ever.

Benny’s just bought God a new Gulfstream jet, and he wants his flock of dupes to pay for it. Ay-mayzing. Check the transparently manipulative language in the sales pitch here and boggle that anyone’s brain could be so calcified as to buy it.

…Now we must pay the remainder of the down payment, and I am asking the Lord Jesus to speak to 6,000 of my precious partners to sow a seed of $1,000 in the next ninety days. And I am praying, even as I write this letter, that you will be one of them!

I know that as you obey the Lord, He will open heaven wide and cause a mighty harvest of blessings to descend upon your life and all that you do!

Take special note of the phrasing, “I know that as you obey the Lord…” This bit of smarm is very much in keeping with the language of something called NLP, or neuro-linguistic programming, which is all about how to phrase sales pitches to rubes using careful turns of phrase that make them think they’re doing something other than what you’re really trying to get them to do (buy your product, have sex with you), and that the decision to do it is their idea, that they arrived at all on their own because it was really the only sensible thing to do, and why would they even consider not doing it? He wants his “precious” partners — the ones who are already forking over loads of cash they can probably barely spare in the first place, so that Benny can live it up in places like this — to “sow a seed” of six million dollars for his fancy jet, and he’s equating doing this with “obeying the Lord”. Confronted with meretriciousness and hubris of this degree, I don’t know whether to tip my hat in grudging respect, or buy an ad banner on the Al Jazeera website seeking shoe bombers.

That last bit was a joke.

5 comments

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  1. 1
    Andrew

    I looked up the prices on the net. A top-of-the line Gulfstream 550 goes for $46 million plus a one year wait…

  2. 2
    Curt Cameron

    If you’re so callous that you’re not already retching after reading that, take a look at this article:Benny Hinn Healing Crusade Ends in ControversyThis guy needs a new longer-range G4 because his older G3 couldn’t get him to Africa as well. He’s not just scamming money from people in the wealthy US, he’s getting it by the planeload in Africa, where the average donor can’t afford the basics.

  3. 3
    Matt D.

    Should we (can we) delete the unsolicited advertisement from this faith head or should we jump on over to his blog and um…post?

  4. 4
    Martin

    I imagine this answers your question. :-)

  5. 5
    Martin

    Curt: Yeah, it’s awe-inspiring that Benny still gets play in Africa, after the debacle at his May 2000 Nairobi “crusade”, where he claimed — to the slack-jawed amazement of Christianity’s less insane contingency worldwide — that Jesus was going to manifest physically. Such an event would, of course, constitute the Second Coming Itself; only Benny would have the stones to claim with such confidence that the Messiah was scheduling that penultimate event (for which the entire Church has only been waiting two millennia) to occur at one of Pastor Benny’s “crusades”.The Nairobi “crusade” was also the one where four genuinely sick people had the bad taste to die while waiting to go up on stage (and, one must assume, being refused) for their “miracle”.Benny should be in prison. He’s so irredeemably repugnant in every way that, sometimes, I wish God did exist, so that after Benny dies, he gets to have a real pants-shitting moment when God looks him in the eye and calmly explains why Benny doesn’t get the Royal Suite this time. (“So…you said I was speaking to you onstage…Funny…I don’t recall that…”) Kind of like the final scene in The Godfather. (“Don’t tell me you didn’t know anything, because it insults my intelligence.”)Yeah, I could get behind that.

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