Happy New Year

Goodbye 2011 and hello 2012.

This should be a busy year; the Presidential election, important Supreme Court cases, certain world destruction as predicted by the Mayans, a paid vacation to Afghanistan, and most importantly Mass Effect 3 gets released.

Happy New Year everybody!

Also Happy Birthday Greta Christina!!!



The Dark Side

Assassin Actual gets snagged by another MMO.

Well crap, After a long unrequited love affair with World of Warcraft I thought I was done with Massive Multiplayer games. But Star Wars: The Old Republic has snagged me with a force grip choke-hold. So until my upcoming stint at the National Training Center, an unhealthy chunk of my free time will be spent as the gunslinging smuggler Ciev on the Jung Ma server.

If you have the game, feel free to come over to the Republic fleet and look for me in one of the seeder dive bars as I search for the next big score and a freighter load of credits…

Man, I am such a nerd.

Ron Paul Loves Mass Effect

Paul attempts to turn video game’s back-story into reality through the liberal application of bullshit.

So there I was, Assassin Shepherd, trying to help out a friend via a dangerous game of breaking an entering and theft on Planet Bekerstein in the Serpent Nebula. My partner and I have just disabled multiple levels of security as we descended towards the now unsecured vault below on a whisper silent turbo lift.

The doors open to reveal the treasures within and its not what we expect. The severed head of Lady Liberty is suspended before us, the copper green head millions of light years from the rest of the reconstructed statue back on Earth.

A testament that Ron Paul was right, all those years ago. [Read more…]

Christian Misses the Meaning of Santa Claus

Richard Land is pissed that even if you celebrate Christmas, you don’t really mean it in the way HE wants.

It is apparently terrible being a Christian during Christmas. From Richard Lang’s prospective as a good little Xian who goes to church twice a week, Santa is just another Golden Calf and we are all certainly damning ourselves to hell following the false idol.

But, from what I understand about our World, Santa is supposed to be a Golden Calf. He is the gateway god of the Christians along with the Easter Bunny. Two mythical figures added to the cannon to help convince pagans to come over to the fold. The same principle behind magicking Christmas and Easter to end up being celebrated on the solstices. So,Richard ends up complaining that Americans have embraced the wrong god and they can’t seem to move away from Starter Santa and get into the heaver stuff with Homeslice Christ.

He ends up identifying the source of the problem, secularism. I say bullshit. [Read more…]


I am doing the holiday rounds visiting the grandparents and will be gone untill the 26th. For some reason goat ranches in the middle of nowhere don’t have internet, go figure.

But let me at least plug my grandmother’s recently published novel, Goat Diary. It is a good read about the trails and tribulations of my grandparents leaving their cosmopolitan downtown lifestyle and embarking on the Texas dream of slowly morphing into a pair of true rednecks… and enlisting their grandchildren as unpaid labor to turn 1,000’s of acres of hill county wilderness into a profitable venture in livestock. To bad I still hate goats.

FSM Blesses Travis AFB

After pushback, Travis accepts heathen holiday decoration.

Although already vandalized, Travis AFB has approved an atheist holiday display (O THE HUMANITIY).

This sign, which carries the satanic message to all, encouraging people to “Have a Safe Holiday Season”. Pure Blasphemy. Thankfully, defenders of Jesus have done their holy duty and remove the light from the display so that no one will have to see the horrible, viscous, method of expressing community support. Satan did put it right back up, though. [Read more…]

What’s Left for North Korea

An economy in shatters, a broken people, a dim future, Planet Money reports.

One of the best little groups working for NPR  is Planet Money and they have done a nice piece on just how completely Kim Jong Il screwed his people over with his pants-on-head retarded lust for “power”.

Read the full article at : Drug Dealing, Counterfeiting, Smuggling: How North Korea Makes Money. Or watch the podcast.

(Source: Planet Money)

Congress Sets Record

The new gold standard in disdain.

Congress’ approval rating has sunk to a new all-time record low, with just 11% of Americans approving of the job our elected legislature is doing. Which means Congress’ supporters have dwindled down to blood relatives and their favorite lobbyists, thankfully for the congressmen and women there are so many lobbyists working in D.C. these days that their approval ratings can’t possibly get much lower. [Read more…]

The Endorsement Newt Doesn’t Want

Adultery centric dating site, Ashley Madison, endorses the cheating-prone candidate.

In my benign travels around the internet (read: porn), I have stumbled across occasional advertisements for Ashley Madison, an internet dating service geared to those who are already in a relationship. But now, the site which gets about 700,000 unique visits a month has finally found a candidate they can get in bed with, behind the backs of the other candidates of course.

The dating service recently put of a billboard proclaiming the beginning of the “Ashley Madison era”, where an admitted multiple adulturer can be the Republican front-runner. [Read more…]

Last Flight Out

The last American Military forces* depart Iraq.

December 17th marked the last flight and convoy of American military forces leaving Iraq, marking the end to kinetic military action in America’s foreseeable relationship with Iraq.

It also brings the somber news of the last KIA of an American Soldier in the war, Spec. David Emanuel Hickman was killed on 14 November by an IED in Baghdad, marking the 4,474th name to be added to the war memorial in Kirkuk, Iraq. [Read more…]