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Dec 27 2011

Ron Paul Loves Mass Effect

Paul attempts to turn video game’s back-story into reality through the liberal application of bullshit.

So there I was, Assassin Shepherd, trying to help out a friend via a dangerous game of breaking an entering and theft on Planet Bekerstein in the Serpent Nebula. My partner and I have just disabled multiple levels of security as we descended towards the now unsecured vault below on a whisper silent turbo lift.

The doors open to reveal the treasures within and its not what we expect. The severed head of Lady Liberty is suspended before us, the copper green head millions of light years from the rest of the reconstructed statue back on Earth.

A testament that Ron Paul was right, all those years ago.

In the Mass Effect universe, the Great American Civil War occurred due to political tensions created when the U.S.A. decided to merge with Mexico and Canada. American separatists knew that such a merger was nothing but a plan to extend ultimate power over the average Joe by the powers that were. The separatists bombed the Statue of Liberty in protest, an act that sparked a terrible civil war across North America.

That story makes perfect sense in the context of the award winning Role Playing Game, Mass Effect, but when a strikingly similar tune was pushed by a Presidential contender, it made my soul cry a bit. And this was not just one offhand comment after a few too many drinks, this particular conspiracy theory was a major plank in Ron Paul’s 2008 campaign.

NAFTA’s superhighway is just one part of a plan to erase the borders between the U.S. and Mexico, called the North American Union. This spawn of powerful special interests, would create a single nation out of Canada, the U.S. and Mexico, with a new unelected bureaucracy and money system. Forget about controlling immigration under this scheme.”

What is sad is that Mass Effect itself pointed out the stupidity of such a scheme, even if some shadowy organization was able to pull off a conspiracy that would screw most of the humans on the planet. That they were able to keep it completely out of the public eye and hidden from the fingers of hackers. And somehow that group executed the plan perfectly.

THE REST OF US WOULD JUST GRAB SOME TOURCHES, SCREAM “KAPLAH!!!” AND MURDER THEM IN THE TRADITION OF THE ANGRY MOB.

I hope Ron Paul really doesn’t believe in that horseshit. I hope he is just pulling the wacko strings to get some campaign contributions. Because just for once, just once, I would like a Republican field that is not comprised of either the batshit insane or an android named Mitt. 

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  1. 1
    Tabby Lavalamp

    The Mass Effect series aren’t RPGs, they are shooters with RPG elements (increasingly so with each installment) that make me sad that Bioware is a shadow of the RPG company it once was.

    But that’s neither here nor there. I don’t know why people have thought that Ron Paul isn’t batshit insane. He’s right on some issues, but his economic stances often have no basis in reality.

  2. 2
    Kate from Iowa

    If I’m remembering the context correctly (and it was a while ago, so I may not be) this bit of nonsense was part of an anti-Europe tirade a la “we’re better than those people, but the Democrats/Illuminati are trying to make us just like those socialists with thier single currency!” *you’ll just have to imagine the foaming at the mouth on your own*

  3. 3
    Pierce R. Butler

    … just for once, just once, I would like a Republican field that is not comprised of either the batshit insane or an android named Mitt.

    Do you have a time machine with a range of at least 147 years?

    If not, too bad…

  4. 4
    KashmirGoat

    OK, it is Bioware we’re talking about, so all those decisions from 147 years ago would have lasting repercussions in today’s universe. That android is only lacking the final melt down scene from, not Mass Effect, but Alien. How many times do we have to learn this, don’t trust the android. (oops, mixed my sci-fi metaphors)

    I don’t want my next comment to come off as some angry anti-theist tirade, lacking evidence so bear with me;

    But empirically speaking, I’ve witnessed what this particular background has done to the Boy Scouts. If we want a president that supports the idea that our constitution supports segregation and discrimination based on a particular belief set, then hey, vote android.

    ( on and hey, just saying, if Ripley was impregnated by an alien, how did it get on the sulaco? the only one alive and not accounted for is Bishop… Never trust the android.)

  5. 5
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    Back with the superhighway again, New World Order and all, are we?

    Wait – lets hear more about the gold standard and owning gold. Oh, and competitive scrips.

  6. 6
    papango

    I’m not really sure I understand how a merger between Canada, Mexico and the US would make anyone more powerful. As far as I can see (from way out here on the fringes) taking on Mexico’s problems and the vastness of Canada just seems like more work for very little gain. Can anyone fill me in on why the shadowy powers would even want this?

  7. 7
    Ing

    Simple

    Maple Tacos

    1. 7.1
      Crommunist

      New band name! Called it!

  8. 8
    Crommunist

    I wonder how ol’ RP feels about the Bioshock series?

  9. 9
    RaulRine

    Alright everybody! Excellent theme and fantastic facts. Only want to congratulate everyone and wish a Completely happy New Year! The actual new yr will be a year of the dragon and for Chinese men and women that creature symbolizes secureness and riches
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  1. 10
    Mini Familia

    Mini Familia…

    [...]Ron Paul Loves Mass Effect | Assassin Actual[...]…

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