Oct 25 2011

Aww, Your Hate Group Is Hurting for Money?

The first email from E. Delgaudio that made me smile.

I somehow end up on all sorts of weird ass republican mailing lists, despite slamming the de-subscribe button like it was a damned codeine dispenser. Today’s email from Eugene Delgaudio’s “Public Advocate” USA, a rabidly anti-homosexual special interests group, was a keeper.

Allow me to share:  From the letter entitled “It’s Painful to Write,”

My office is in trouble.  And I need your help.

Fat chance…

I see well-known agents of the radical Homosexual Lobby everywhere.  They are huddled in dark corners scheming and plotting.  They met secretly with newly elected members of Congress in hopes of tempting them to advance their perverse agenda with campaign cash and the promise of votes.

Nothing says you’re a sane person like seeing the enemy everywhere, in Iraq we call that mental illness.

Together, we beat the Gay Bill of Special Rights in 2010, and tossed pro-homosexual Democrats from office, but we had to spend everything to do it.

You know, it would be easier to understand what bills you actually are against if you wouldn’t make up “Super Scary” names for them in order to scare your fellow bigots into opening up their wallets. I didn’t know it was a special right just for homosexuals to be treated exactly like everyone else. But, ok, good for you? I guess.

It seems a lot of people believe all our problems are solved because Nancy Pelosi is no longer Speaker of the House.  And many pro-family leaders are complacent or just plain worn out, and they want to quit.

I cannot believe it!  That’d be like surrendering after Pearl Harbor!

…Or your politician backers have read the tea leaves and know that hanging with the likes of you is soon to be political suicide. Sorry pal, where military social policy goes, America follows.

And as the Radical Homosexuals have gained almost complete control in Congress, my hands are tied…

How? Wha? Why? My brain hurts.

I’ve received “crank” phone calls… even death threats!

Join the club.

And while the Radical Homosexual Lobby is bilking the U.S. Treasury for billions of dollars, I raise every dime of my office’s budget from concerned citizens like you.

You don’t get money from the government because you run a hate group, neither does the KKK, but at least they don’t whine as much.

Delgaudio then goes on to beg for money for about another 600 words. No, I won’t be donating but, thanks for putting a smile on my face with your financial woes. Another bunch of bigots bites the dust.


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  1. 1
    Graham Martin-Royle

    I received this begging letter as well. Why I was sent it I have no idea. I’d also like to know where he got my personal e’mail address. Needless to say, he didn’t get anything from me.

  2. 2
    Mike Haubrich

    Many people who helped to Pharyngulate a poll on Oct 13 started getting these e-mails. I took a few and then hit the “unsubscribe” button. Let’s see if he complies.

    Eugene Delgaudio is a County Supervisor in Sterling County, Va. This is a fucking elected official! What a freak.

  3. 3

    Obviously he knows nothing about gay people who prefer light airy houses with fashionable decor!

    I mean good lord man! If you are going to use a stereotype then atleast use the right one! Don’t confuse gay people with goblins.

    1. 3.1

      I had a look in the dark corners where I work, in case we’ve been infiltrated, but all I found was a shift worker having a nap in a break room, a plastic Christmas tree left over from the mid-winter Christmas party and some boxes of old letterhead. I’ll keep looking, though.

      1. Otrame

        If you find someone have teh Ghey sex, take pictures. That stuff turns this old straight grandma on.

        1. Assassin Actual

          which is awesome. Only people I have stumbled on were some Roided-up Private Military dudes from South Africa. That was a bit awkward.

  4. 4

    Virginia holds state elections in odd-numbered years, so Delgaudio is running for reelection right now (Mike – it’s actually Loudoun county – he represents the city of Sterling). I think I’m going to send his opponent some cash http://www.al4sterling.com/ I’ll make sure I attach a note citing “Public Advocate USA” as my reason for donating

    Loudoun was a pretty conservative county for decades, but back in 2007, voters booted 4 of the 6 Republicans off of the 9 member board, now it is fairly reliabily Dem. I find it interesting that Loudoun & Fairfax counties in Virginia, the 1st & 2nd ranked counties in the US for highest median household income, vote strongly Democratic.

  5. 5
    San Ban

    I sent a “cease and desist” letter to Delgaudio and he continues to spam me. Hmm, who (media) would be interested in this public official ‘s moonlighting gig?

  6. 6

    Anyone else find it disturbing that the letter went on, and on, and on…

    It started to feel like a manifesto.

    (No, I didn’t read the whole thing. I read the first few sentences, skimmed a little expecting it to be a page long, skimmed a few more pages, and at some point got an image of the writer locked in a secluded mountain lodge called The Overlook typing furiously, occasionally cradling his ax, and wondering if maybe his wife and child were in any way sympathetic to the “homosexual lobby”.)

  7. 7

    I’ve heard about this Homosexual Lobby several times now, and I wonder if anyone could tell me what buiding it is in, and whether there is a coffee shop with free Wi-Fi. Also, what are the requirements for being a Radical Homosexual? How do you know if you are really a lot more gay than the next homosexual? Is there a place for radical heteros? What about other radical, but non-binary sexually orientated folk?

    I need some education in these matters, because there is either nothing out there on these subjects, or my search-fu really is teh suck.

    1. 7.1

      I always assumed Radical Gays were just ones who skateboarded everywhere.

  8. 8
    Kaintukee Bob

    I replied. I asked him what the ‘special rights’ were. In my rambling, I eventually decided that the special rights were ‘free ice cream’ for homosexuals.

    That’s a special right. Most people have to pay for it.

    I’d oppose that, because if ice cream is going to be free, it should be free for everyone.

  9. 9
    Marcus Ranum

    I assumed that they weren’t really hurting for money, and that it was just going to go into some hate-filled assclown’s pocket (who probably doesn’t even hate the gays, just sees them as an opportunity to motivate giving) If they’d been offering to make my penis bigger I’d have maybe given a few dollars. :)

  10. 10

    Thanks AA, that email and your comments put a smile of my face and I am not even from the USA.

    Cheers from Australia and have a beer at Christmas when you get home (touch wood).

  11. 11

    Although not Gay myself I have long considered myself a member of the Radical Homosexual Lobby!!!11one! and support their Radical Agenda! of equal rights for everyone completely. I would like to know where my fucking check is from the U S Treasury. Oh, and I want my free ice cream also.

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