The first email from E. Delgaudio that made me smile.
I somehow end up on all sorts of weird ass republican mailing lists, despite slamming the de-subscribe button like it was a damned codeine dispenser. Today’s email from Eugene Delgaudio’s “Public Advocate” USA, a rabidly anti-homosexual special interests group, was a keeper.
Allow me to share: From the letter entitled “It’s Painful to Write,”
My office is in trouble. And I need your help.
I see well-known agents of the radical Homosexual Lobby everywhere. They are huddled in dark corners scheming and plotting. They met secretly with newly elected members of Congress in hopes of tempting them to advance their perverse agenda with campaign cash and the promise of votes.
Nothing says you’re a sane person like seeing the enemy everywhere, in Iraq we call that mental illness.
Together, we beat the Gay Bill of Special Rights in 2010, and tossed pro-homosexual Democrats from office, but we had to spend everything to do it.
You know, it would be easier to understand what bills you actually are against if you wouldn’t make up “Super Scary” names for them in order to scare your fellow bigots into opening up their wallets. I didn’t know it was a special right just for homosexuals to be treated exactly like everyone else. But, ok, good for you? I guess.
It seems a lot of people believe all our problems are solved because Nancy Pelosi is no longer Speaker of the House. And many pro-family leaders are complacent or just plain worn out, and they want to quit.
I cannot believe it! That’d be like surrendering after Pearl Harbor!
…Or your politician backers have read the tea leaves and know that hanging with the likes of you is soon to be political suicide. Sorry pal, where military social policy goes, America follows.
And as the Radical Homosexuals have gained almost complete control in Congress, my hands are tied…
How? Wha? Why? My brain hurts.
I’ve received “crank” phone calls… even death threats!
Join the club.
And while the Radical Homosexual Lobby is bilking the U.S. Treasury for billions of dollars, I raise every dime of my office’s budget from concerned citizens like you.
You don’t get money from the government because you run a hate group, neither does the KKK, but at least they don’t whine as much.
Delgaudio then goes on to beg for money for about another 600 words. No, I won’t be donating but, thanks for putting a smile on my face with your financial woes. Another bunch of bigots bites the dust.