Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll, transcribed by a Mac

Yesterday I tried Middle English, so today, nonsensical English seemed to be the next best thing.

Twist Briley again the slightly toes,
Did jarring gimbal in the wave:
Almonds you were the Bora Groves,
And the mom race outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the closet catch!
Beware the judge of Bird, and shunned
The feminist benders snatch!”

He took his mortal sword in hand;
Long time the men’s own photo he sought –
So rested he by the tom-tom tree
Instead a while in thought.

And, as an office thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the told you would,
And verbal does it came!

One, too! One, too! And through and through
The vocal blade went snicker snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, might beamish boy!
Of fab just day! Hello! Calais!
It chortled in his joy.

Twist Greg, and the slighty toes
Did John gambling the wave:
On Mimsy were the Bora Groves,
And the Momerath upgrade.

The original:

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Canterbury Tales in Middle English, transcribed by a Mac

Once, long ago, Ms. Markham, my eleventh grade English teacher, made me memorize the beginning of the Canterbury Tales.  In Middle English.  Because it was basically a rote memory task that required repetition, it’s a parlor trick I still have in my memory banks.  I was playing around with my Mac transcription function and greatly appreciated its ability to type “Arnold Schwarzenegger” and “schadenfreude.” Obviously the next test would be Chaucer.

What I find most interesting about this transcription is that you can sort of half hear it, if you read it out loud.

One that I feel with the shorter so that,
The drop of March of passion to the realtor,
And bothered everything and switch the core
Of which virtue engendered is the floor;
One selfish act with the switch of breaking
Spirit half an difficult and hit
The gym the compass, and the young the summer
Of in the Ramas Honda Accord Urona
I’m smaller father smocking melody,
That Shevenell the needs an open yet,
So picket him not to inhere crushes,
The moving forward to going on to the motions
I’m Palmitas what to say can Strom just send those,
To family how is, Cruisin something on this;
Especially if I’m ever shadows in the
Oven but I’m to kind about it I wonder,
What it is for Monteforte to Seca
Him have open one that they were sick.

The Original:

Whan that aprill with his shoures soote
The droghte of march hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
Whan zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
Tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the ram his halve cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,
That slepen al the nyght with open ye
(so priketh hem nature in hir corages);
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages,
And palmeres for to seken straunge strondes,
To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;
And specially from every shires ende
Of engelond to caunterbury they wende,
The hooly blisful martir for to seke,
That hem hath holpen whan that they were seeke.