Project Runway 701

Seth: Looks drugged out.  I tend to like the contestants that are on the edges of the age range, either super young or super old.  He looks way older than 37 around his eyes.  Maybe because he’s dressed like a British school boy.  Shots of his previous work don’t impress me, nor does his speech, but they never do.

Janeane: Not Garafalo.  Crying a minute into a PR season is fairly bold.  And makes me want to vomit.  She will have to do a lot for me not to continue to hate her.

Ping: She crazy in that adding some interest to the first couple of challenges way.  That’s cool.

Ben: Apparently this online friend of mine knows Ben from SCAD, which is cool, because he’s Southern.  And that is more info than you’ll learn about Ben this entire episode.  Oh Comic Books.

Anthony: The breakout star.  No lie.  He’s like Michael Knight crossed with Kayne.  “I don’t really care for Miss America.” WTH is that about, I love it!  And he 3rd persons.

Jay: Faux Hawk, but some interesting fashion from the past.

Pamela: She’s 47 but doesn’t seem cool.  Also, her clothes are hideous.  Type A means she’ll be a bitch.

Anna: Another one with 2 seconds of introduction.  She’s my favorite because she’s fucking adorable.  Her clothes aren’t very interesting, and she’s like an artist out of design school or whatever.  But she’s adorable.

Jonathan: Faux Hawk 2.  Can I just say all there is to say is *headdesk*.  Irritating.

Jesse: OK, so he’s totally hot as Jack Sparrow, but he so doesn’t look like Johnny Depp not in the makeup.  So, I don’t know what to think.

Mila: She’s my early pick.  I just like her.  She reminds me of Laura.  You know, just on top of it and not willing to let anything get between her and her goals, but without be conniving or catty (Irina), just by being good and unflappable.

Maya: Bored by her Christian Siriano rip off collection.

Christiane: Barely any intro, but the most interesting part about her is where she’s from, not what she wants to do.  She likes color and poor construction based on the photos.

Jesus: His eyes are freaking me out.  I like his photos though, he’s got an artistic flair

Emilio: Speaks Spanish.  Draws pictures that are boring.

Amy: Bored by her, but I like her clothes.

Preggers Heidi means everything is going to be better now.  Every season they seem to make up whatever this Season is the best at.  Ridiculous.  “A little pregnant.”  Nice Heidi.

Fabric in Central Park, run and grab.  K.  I love it when they make the designers run and try to force them to sound shocked by it.  Sound bites are so forced.  But I like the whole editing twist, they can only keep 5 of the fabrics.  I sort of like Seth’s attitude without liking him.

AH, Tim Gunn’s tie is the same pepto bismol pink as the walls.  WHO TOLD THEM THAT COLOR WAS OK?!

HP touchsmart.  Want.  Man, they had to pick their colors before knowing their models skin tone.  That’s rough.

Christiane notes that this is the only chance to show that she is different.  Apparently her main difference is being way worse than everyone, because she’s going to go home.  Emilio is doing something awesome.  I kind of love that Ping looks at her clothes on a human form, because it is quite different.

Models come in.  Someone makes a Make it Work imitation.  Jesus makes a poor choice with his already hideous dress.  Decides to make it longer.  Yuck.

I like it when the models talk to each other about their designs.  Tim Visits.

Christiane: Tim wants to know if not having something will hurt it.  She needs to finish it impeccably.  Which she will not do.

Ping: She’s wearing her look.  He wants to know if that lets her be objective.  Tim says alright.  Because what to say.

Seth: He’s really strongly in favor of his red zipper.  He even sells Tim on it.

Janeane: She’s working on a black dress and it’s awful because of the fabric choice.  Tim tells her to clean it up “as much as she can.” She cries again.

Anthony: “None of this is working for me.” Anthony makes Tim laugh and that makes him awesome.

Jesus: The hideous lizard costume with the hideous line with the hideous ugliness.  Tim says “Oooohhhh” for like 5 seconds.

Emilio: Tim has one comment, there’s an unfinished top.  Never had anyone just not finished.  Not true, remember that chick with the neck gig and the seethrough mumu.  Yeah.

Christiane thinks she can win, but she apparently doesn’t know how to sew.  Janeane is crying again.  SHUT UP.

What is Seth wearing on Runway day?  Seriously.  Mila totally knows that Christiane has issues, but she’s nice.  Ping is afraid of being different.

The Jesus model thinks the hideous brown lizard dress is hot.  I thought at first she meant that wearing that much pleather was making her overly warm.  Christiane feels good.  Foolishly.

Emilio pulled off a super cute dress.  Janeane is like so boring me.  Not finishing is just like not that interesting a threat any more.

There’s this one guy who is so unbelievably hot in the Garnier makeup room.  I know he’s gay, and he was only on screen for two short shots, but one of them he’s got a super cute smile.

A lot of the girls have what looks like toilet paper in their hair.  I grasped that they were rag curls.

Why is Heidi so hot when she’s pregnant?  If I was that hot when I was pregnant I would always be pregnant… and apparently so is she, so fair enough.

Michael is looking slightly less orange.  Nina looks like she’s salivating to tear them apart.  Nicole Richie looks chill like Xanax, you know what I’m saying.  The designs.

Jonathan: Very nice.

Seth: It’s a little punk prairie to me.  And I hate the suspenders.  But it is well-executed and thematically thorough.

Jesus: Hideous lizard creature.

Ben: So what I didn’t realize is that what you’re looking at here isn’t his fabric, it’s two fabrics laid over each other to create that fabric, which I think is pretty cool.  I personally hate the design because futuristic isn’t that appealing to me and the color is dowdy, especially on his model, but, the fabric technique is cool and it looks fairly well constructed.

Jay: I hate this.  It’s got a flower puff coming out the vagina and off the hips.  It’s awful awful awful, the worst of what people think fashion is without being fashionable at all.

Pamela: Apparently this design is reversible.  It’s just boring and the fabric is too stiff.  The color is meh.

Emilio: Beautiful.

Jesse: In my opinion this should have been the losing dress.  It looks like it’s from a porno about a librarian with a sexy side with no budget.

Ping: Actually very pretty and interesting.

Christiane: poorly constructed, terrible fabric choice.  Cheap cheap cheap.  Nina’s going to go ape-shit

Amy: Boring and what’s going on with the giant boob thing

Janeane: Really boring.  But not offensive.

Mila: OK, so I don’t like the outfit, but the jacket is unbelievably awesome.  And she’s right about the silhouette.

Anthony: Hate the fabric.  And I like the colors involved, they just are tacky in that pattern.  Hideous

Anna: I really like this.  A lot claim that it washes the girl out but I think it’s lovely on her skin tone.  Very fantasy.  Cute and sweet, but interesting.

Maya: I actually quite like this, even though it’s probably a bit Project Runway cliche to do the shoulder ruffle, but it’s very well made and the fabrics really work.

So, Anthony is in the bottom 3.  Heidi likes the bottom bubble thing.  Michael says no one will wear that appendage on her hips.  Nina says that the fabric doesn’t go with the silhouette.  The butt is hideous.  But Nicole thinks it’s beautiful so Anthony’s not going home.  Also he’s funny so the producers won’t let it happen show one.

Seth is in the top 3.  Nicole says it is committed.  Heidi says it’s fun.  Nina loves the back.  Michael says it’s commercial.  Heidi wants to know more.  Nina appreciates the head to toe look.

Ping is in the Top 3.  The shape changes the form changes.  Nicole said the model got her attention.  It’s a show.  Nicole loves it.  Nina says it will have no hanger appeal.  The model looks uncomfortable.  Michael says it’s a great opening project. This was Nicole’s favorite.

Jesus the lizard king is bottom 3.  A huge crocodile trunk exploded.  Unsexy.  Looks like it was short and then was made long.  Heidi totally calls it.  Nina says she looks like a Hershey chocolate bar.  Nicole thinks it could have been good if it was different.  All the cliches of glamour — in a lounge in Las Vegas in 1972.

Christiane has a hideous dress in the bottom 3.  Nina likes the draping but isn’t crazy about the fabrics and you can see the hem that’s not finished.  Unsophisticated in color and shape, puckering.

Emilio is in the top 3.  Michael loves that it’s deceptively simple.  Heidi asks about the weaving.  Nina appreciates the technical work.  This dress has hanger appeal.  Nicole likes the full skirt.  Obvious winner because Nina thinks it looks expensive.

As predicted, Emilio wins, Christiane is out.  Always feel bad for the people who get judged on one project alone.  Oh well.

Next week, they’re going farming?

Project Runway! Season 7

I’m very excited that there’s a new season of PR starting tonight because last season sucked.  Reasons this season will be better:

1. It’s in New York again.  LA sucked.

2. Michael Kors and Nina Garcia are in like every episode.

3. It couldn’t be worse than the last season.

4. Heidi is preggers.  This always makes it better for some reason.

5. The gays over at Project Rungay say it’s awesome and they’ve seen episode 1 already.

Quote I’m most looking forward to: “I’m sweating like a Baptist preacher!”