Craigslist Results

November 8, 2009 Ashley F. Millercraigslist, Editing, experimentLeave a comment

Job Posted at 11:45 AM Friday. I’ll bold the number to the ones I would actually consider. There are 5 of the 21 that I think would be potentially worth responding to, and only 2 of them that I’d feel good about contacting. So… comparatively, I think my resumes and cover letters are at the very least in the pool of worth looking at. I certainly don’t have the impressive credits that some of these people do… you know, actually editing real TV shows and movies, but hopefully the fact that I actually read the posts and respond to what they say will make the difference.

FRIDAY

1) 12:04 PM Fun Resume and Reel
Reel simply a link to Youtube page, featured item a musical composition, not a reel of any sort. Resume focuses on sound and artist work, not editing. Only one editing credit.

2) 12:30 PM Fun Reel
No resume. Several links to reels, too many links, no explanation of what they are. Claims to be able to make my footage look “professional”. Not sure what that means and am vaguely insulted he thinks it looks otherwise without having seen it.

3) 12:36 Fun Resume and Reel
Resume is ugly, has only a few credits, none impressive. Admits focus is directing, and only claims some experience with Final Cut. Does have a link to reel, which is for all of his various film skills. “I am introducing myself and would like to see if there is a job opportunity as a video editor?” His first sentence lost me.

4) 1:04 Fun Resume and Reel
Resume is impressive. Includes a reference to his more impressive work in his letter, and includes that he owns Final Cut, something I mentioned in the ad. This is the first person I’d have responded to.

5) 1:32 Fun Resume and Reel
Reel is once again simply a youtube page with no direction as to what I should be looking at. None of it appears to be a reel. Cover letter clearly a form letter with no reference as to what the job was. Resume vague and unimpressive.

6) 1:37 Fun Resume and Reel
Most of his credits are in sound, but very impressive online resume. Maybe too good, I’d feel guilty for hiring him for just $100.

7) 1:44
Terrible cover letter. No paragraphs, inconsistent capitalization. Clearly didn’t read my post, doesn’t include Fun in his subject line and is asking to be added to my production company. Includes the unforgivable line “I know for a fact that i am the right candidate for this job”

8) 2:37 Resume and Reel
No cover letter, just a bunch of links. His resume is all director/ credits, which is not encouraging. Clearly didn’t read the ad and sent the response double.

9) 2:39 Fun Resume and Reel
Link for reel and resume is to an unnavigable page in hideous colors. Another director/ Includes a rate which has nothing to do with the rate that I posted, doesn’t even reference it. I didn’t ask for a quote, I gave a quote and asked for someone to do it.

10) 2:55 Fun and Reel
No resume, and states that he focuses on weddings. This automatically makes me think he’s no good. But he follows that up with being Apple Certified in FCP, which is actually quite impressive. He should just start with that. Still reads like he didn’t read my posting but I’d probably think of contacting him.

11) 3:00 Fun Reel and Resume
Links to webpage with Reel and Resume. Resume difficult to navigate. Watched some of the projects and they are very bad. The cover letter is clearly in response to my ad, but the grammar is questionable. Would have thought about using if the cutting hadn’t been so bad on his reel.

12) 3:28 Fun Resume and Reel
This is by far my favorite applicant. I would have contacted him definitely, just because he says he focuses on shorts and opened with a “howdy”. He also has an impressive and long resume and his reel is not bad. Of course, he only has FCP 5, and I am at 6, and the current version is 7, so that’s a little meh.

13) 3:40 Fun Reel and Resume
Terrible cover letter for someone who is way overqualified for the project. He clearly didn’t read it because he wants me to bring it by for a quote. I told you how much I had to spend, no need for a quote. This guy is union and has worked on TV shows. Hopefully he trolls CL for better offers than my short.

14) 5:51 Fun Reel and Resume
Hurts himself by sending stock cover letter that he clearly uses for graphic design jobs as well as editing. Has a picture right at the top of his resume. This weirds me out.

15) 6:20 Fun Reel and Resume
What is with people sending me their picture? Bad. Resume includes the word savvy. “Numerous Free-lance clients as Lead Editor (list available)” Well, I’m asking you to be freelance edit so… that’d be nice. Why not include it in the first place. Argh. At this point I’d be tempted to just give up on any new applicants.

16) 6:39 Fun and Reel
No Resume. Cover letter says simple “I’m an editor located near Beverly Hills.” Well, that’s just not enough information.

17) 10:54 Fun Reel and Resume
Marginal cover letter with reel and resume behind a link that doesn’t work. I did get to his webpage by googling but found that there’s not a single title to something he’s cut, just “7 years of editing experience”.

18) 11:26 Reel
No attached resume, no fun. He’s apparently an “indie editor” whatever that means. He’s also seems to think I’m making a music film. Website is hideously awful.

SATURDAY

19) 10:17 AM Fun Reel and Resume
I feel bad because he’s got some great credits, but his resume doesn’t start with editing, it starts with AD and producing work. So, I don’t feel like his focus is editing and not sure I want him to work on it. Still, if I’d talked to the other applicants and none was working out, I’d certainly get in touch with him.

20) 3:25 PM Fun and Resume
No reel. Majored in Theatre is apparently the most important thing I should take into account, since that’s what he starts with. Almost makes me want to not read the rest of it. Resume is mostly acting and Director/ credits.

SUNDAY

21) 2:25 PM Reel
Mass email to 20 other craigslist email accounts. Doubly emailed to me. His day rate is $250. He didn’t send a resume. I’m sort of insulted to have received it, as a matter of fact, and want to send an e-mail back saying “If it’s not worth your time to actually read what people have bothered to post, please don’t respond.”

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Best Book of the Century: I am a GENIUS of UNSPEAKABLE EVIL and I want to be your CLASS PRESIDENT

October 20, 2009 Ashley F. MillerAaron Sorkin, Daily Show, Fahrenheit 451, I am a genius of unspeakable evil and I want to be your class president, Jon Stewart, Josh Lieb, screenwriting, South CarolinaLeave a comment

I am a GENIUS of UNSPEAKABLE EVIL and I want to be your CLASS PRESIDENT is the best book of the century for at least three reasons. 1. Josh Lieb is funny 2. Middle School is Hell 3. Jon Stewart approves. Josh will also be writing the screenplay, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Here’s my favorite excerpt from the first chapter:

In case you’re lucky enough to have escaped it, Fahrenheit 451 is one of those books that is about how amazing books are and how wonderful the people who write books are. Writers love writing books like this, and for some reason, we let them get away with it. It’s like someone producing a TV show called TV Show are the Best and the People Who Make Them Are Geniuses.*

*Probably the name of Aaron Sorkin’s next project. Ha.

Here’s a link to a very long interview with Mr. Lieb: http://bigthink.com/joshlieb

(Full disclosure: Gail Lieb, Josh’s mom, is my favorite person in the universe)

Why I Write for Children; Why I love Children’s Media

October 12, 2009 Ashley F. Millerchildren, children's films, children's literature, dinosaurs, Lemony Snicket, movies, series of unfortunate events, stegosaurusLeave a comment

Daniel Handler aka Lemony Snicket knows that children have the best appreciation for the imagination at work.

I’m not there because I subscribe to the specious and lunkheaded notion that children are unspoiled spouters of true wisdom. (Let’s mothball that idea, next to the one that African-Americans are inherently rhythmic and Latinas can’t be on the Supreme Court.) I’m merely looking for the most interesting conversationalists. If I could find an adult icebreaking with “Last night I dreamed I was a horse” or “Tree frogs have big eyes,” I’d drink with them instead.

SAM: The little man walking down the street and he doesn’t see a dinosaur walking by. And he eats him. *delighted cackle*

Simple, emotional, exactly as complicated as the story needs to be. Go watch Sam. He likes Stegosauruses. Me too.

Female Filmmakers; Women Directors

October 7, 2009 Ashley F. Millermovies, screenwriting, Stats, women, women in film1 Comment

There’s an interesting article over at Film School Rejects which basically lists about a hundred films directed by women. Now, I do appreciate that there are not very many women directors, or at least, not a lot of successful ones, but I do think that it’s useful to look at the entire field of filmmaking. After all, directing is just one part of the puzzle — movies are written, edited, produced, and a million other things. Even movies with leading females aren’t that common. Statistics from San Diego State University. Last Year (2008):

Only 6 of the top 50 grossing films (12 of the top 100 films) starred or were focused on women.
Women comprised 9% of all directors.
Women accounted for 12% of writers.
Women comprised 16% of all executive producers.
Women accounted for 23% of all producers.
Women accounted for 17% of all editors.
Women accounted for 25% of production managers.
Women comprised 44% of production supervisors.
Women accounted for 20% of all production designers working on the top 250 films.
Women comprised 5% of sound designers.
Women accounted for 5% of supervising sound editors working on the top 250 films.
Women comprised 1% of key grips.
Women accounted for 1% of gaffers working on the top 250 films of 2008.

Even film critics are overwhelmingly male:

In Fall 2007, men penned 70% and women 30% of all reviews. Furthermore, of the newspapers featuring film reviews, 47% had no reviews written by women critics, writers or freelancers. In contrast, only 12% had no reviews written by men critics, writers or freelancers.

So what do I have to offer as a way to remedy this? Not much. There are some resources out there, but you usually have to pay money to join. Or else they’re just not updated that often.

Go and be depressed now.

http://www.allianceofwomendirectors.org/

http://www.wif.org/

http://blog.moviesbywomen.com/

First Day As Story Assistant; Argument with Apparently Illiterate Religious Types

September 28, 2009 Ashley F. Milleratheism, christianity, Gay, Gay Rights, Religion, Story Asst, women8 Comments

I just had to sign a confidentiality agreement which says I can’t reveal the nature and details of my employment. Does that mean I can’t tell people what I do? Like, if I was an editor on Toddlers and Tiaras, would I have to be like, “I work on a show in some capacity, that’s all I can say.”

Weird.

I am working on a show, I won’t tell you what it is, but it is a show I absolutely adore. So far my duty seems to be to go through the last season to find high drama/conflict clips to put together for montages in a reunion type thing.

I had a religious argument with a bunch of people who seem to lack… well, brains. A friend of mine posts these relationship questions on her facebook page, I often respond because almost all of her friends are extremely religious southern African Americans, and I like to be a different POV. If anyone can tell me what CN is saying, I’d love to know. I think he’s saying that the Devil wrote the constitution…

Two major questions I have:

1. Why is having faith an acceptable reason to not look critically at your belief system?

2. Why is it OK to demand atheists be well versed in the Bible when they disagree with a theist, but not OK to demand that theists read secular philosophy to argue with an atheist?

—-

The discussion

SJ: According to the Biblical tale, woman was made from man for man. Where does this fit in our postmodern society? Is there room for submission? What is the role of the woman to the man?

CN: 2 submit and be his help mate… As in da man is da provider and protector who is supposed 2 love his wife like Christ love da church…

AFM: I think it fits in the same trash bin as things like stoning children for disobeying their parents, not wearing clothes of mixed fiber, and the belief that homosexuality is wrong. Just because a belief is old doesn’t mean it’s worth anything. The role of woman to man is the same of man to woman, mutual respect and interdependence.

BJ: All sin is wrong whether it be murder or homosexuality it’s wrong. As far as mixing of clothing it was to show distinction between God’s chosen nation and the other surrounding nations he didn’t want them mixing with other nations and engaging in their customs or worshipping theirs gods. As far as the stoning of children or anyone we ought to thank God for sending his son to remove the ordinances that were against us (Colossians 2:14). Blame Eve for the role of a woman but submission to your husband isn’t forced like it was in the days of Mr from the color purple or Ike Turner. Submission is a form of respect for your partner by allowing them to operate in their divine roles…it’s called compromise with each other and obedience to God’s word but if you are not obedient to God’s word how can you expect to compromise?

AFM:”if you are not obedient to God’s word how can you expect to compromise?” Um, by talking and discussing things and coming to reasonable conclusions. I don’t need an invisible dude threatening me to choose to do something moral. That’s just silly. As for homosexuality, how can you put that in the same boat as murder? Murder takes away someone’s life. Homosexuality doesn’t take anything away from anybody.

SeJ: Oh my goodness! I’m so glad I know where I stand…whew!

CN: Well da best way 2 put it all at da end is either U gon follow his word or U not… God gave us free will.. He gives us an option… He allows us 2 make da decision 2 love him or not… Its not complicated, but people make it dat way and try 2 use everything in their own way and outta context… God gave us dominion over da earth, which yes Eve was manipulated out of, but things didn’t change until Adam ate da forbidden fruit, because God made him da head and gave him da specific direction 2 not eat of it… It was his job 2 tell his wife not 2 and even in her disobediance he should have not eaten of it…But dats da free will.. Now thru his son which is still God(Jesus Christ) he gave us 2 new laws dats still prevelant 2 da 10 commandments, but is more in line with Grace and Mercy… Which is 2 love God and love ur neighbor as U love urself and so on and so on… Its deep but U just have 2 seek dat wisdom and knowledge and he will answer..

AFM: Genesis also has two creation stories, one of which presents men and women as being created at the same time, so the bible itself isn’t in agreement on whether women are created from men or not. The first account says male and female [God] created them (Genesis 1:27), which has been assumed by critical scholars to imply simultaneous creation, whereas the second account states that God created Eve from Adam’s rib because Adam was lonely (Genesis 2:18 ff.).

CN: U also have 2 take in consideration dat God didn’t literally write da bible tho he has all power 2 change any word in it… He had man 2 write wat was going on so therefore it may not be wrote in exactly da order we prefer.. Just as da fall of satan and da other angels.. Its not known if dat fall was during man or b4. Dats just one of those great mysteries dat won’t be discovered till dat great day of judgement… But with dat said it still doesnt mean take a part from da bible and try 2 justify da wrong. He gave us rules 2 live by 2 be prosperous and 2 C Heaven. Why, because he knew man would manipulate da world. Have u heard freedom of speech, but U can’t say a man made bad word… Right 2 bare guns, but u catch pistol cases 24/7 cuz in order 2 obtain a gun u gotta have dis and u gotta have dat. Da constitution and everything is deceived by da devil… All I can say is if u wanna find out then study as U would anything else, but in dis particular subject, belief and faith is needed.

AFM: I can’t actually read anything you’ve written Courtney, but I have read the bible and you’re right, you need a certain amount of disregarding reality and faith in the nonsensical to understand it. I really recommend Bart D. Ehrman for some really interesting and accessible biblical scholarship which examines all the inconsistencies as well as the overarching messages contained within the different books of the Bible. It’s useful I think for both the faithed and unfaithed to really understand what it is they’re professing to believe in or not, as the case may be.

BJ: The Bible is plain and simple either you serve God or not but you are going to serve. If you are not serving God then who do you serve (1 John 3:7-8)? People should really study his word before babbling off their erroneous philosophies. When I said sin is wrong, that was Bible but maybe in attempt to convey the seriousness of sin and God’s take on it maybe I should have said there’s no difference in homosexuality and liars or homosexuality and stealing…would that be more appeasing? For those who no me “the invisible guy” know that I’m really not the appeasing type so I’m taking one for the team.

BJ: The Bible isn’t in chronological order…Chronological Bibles are for sale invest in one and it will really open your understanding

AFM: @Bethel That’s nice and all, but I still don’t get how a thinking person could actually believe that someone loving another person is a bad thing. I don’t really care about God, I care about people. Your irrational hatred of homosexuals makes it clear that you put your own belief over actually taking care of the people around you, physically and emotionally. Whether it’s chronological or not, the books don’t agree with each other. They tell the same stories differently, and they don’t agree on what it all means. I’ve read the bible, I’ve read the scholarship, I know what I’m talking about, but it’s not clear that you do.

BJ: @ Ashley I’ve studied the whole Bible in its entirety I didn’t just read it I studied it. Inordinate affection of any kind is sin because it goes against the nature which God intended but since you and I aren’t on the same team this whole conversation is pointless because I love God with my whole heart and with his love I love his people but like you said you Don’t care about God just his creations which befuddles me because isn’t the creator greater than his creation? The Bible does say if this gospel be hid it is hid to those that are lost.

AFM: I have studied it, I was raised in a church, went to Sunday school, went to bible camp, went to university with a major theological school. In all these places I spent a lot of time with the bible and learned that I cared a lot more about reality than fiction. I took the time to understand what I’m talking about, why don’t you study Darwin, Hume, Bentham, Paine, and Epicurus before deriding anyone who has chosen not to believe? Or is your faith of such weak stuff that it’s all you have, anything else might break it?

BJ: My faith in God is just that strong that I chose him over any man’s vain philosophies. You don’t know me you don’t know the journey I took to become a believer of Christ so don’t make assumptions because you don’t know what i’ve studied. I know Darwin, Hume, Paine, Bentham or Epicurus can save anyone from hell’s fire. Like I said you and I are not on the same team we do not serve the same God so our conversation is pointless and starting to become a circular argument. I can tell you right now that there is nothing that you or anyone else can say in this entire world that can shake my faith in God.

AFM: Obviously I don’t know you, and you clearly don’t know me. Everyone has individual journeys, all I’m asking is that before you dismiss my point of view offhand you allow for the fact that I did come to it from a place of learning and study, not from a place of shallow rejection. And if you were truly trying to understand other people rather than lump them into some category of Damned, you’d be willing to look at their perspective rather than making assumptions. Nothing I recommended for your reading would make you stop believing, it would merely allow for you to understand that there are other perspectives in life that allow people to make good, moral and just decisions, regardless of whether they’re religious or not. But again, you show a preference for being overly protective of your faith rather than understanding of the humans that share this world with you. If it’s that important to you to hate on gay people, fine, just don’t expect anyone to think you’re a very good person.

BJ: Don’t try to make me out to be something I’m not because I harbor no hate towards gays or anyone else I don’t care what people do with the free will that God gave them. I’m just flabbergasted that you feel that you are the only one who comes from a learned perspective and that you are the only person who have looked into different philosophies. Don‘t make ignorant assumptions of someone else’s intellect because you assume they are not as keen on a subject as you people don’t like intellectual arrogance.

AFM: You’re the one who said I needed to read the bible as though I was coming from a place of ignorance. Don’t make accusations you don’t like hearing thrown back at you, someone might accuse you of being a hypocrite.

BJ: I said study it because anybody can read it

AFM: Do you see how that’s the exact same thing you’re saying I shouldn’t do? How is it OK for you to assume that I haven’t studied the bible but not OK for me to ask you to study other points of view? You are a hypocrite and a not particularly astute one, enjoy your ignorance and misplaced vitriol.

BJ: When I said study I was talking to everyone that’s why I said people should study not Ashley and if that makes me a hypocrite Ok I’m a hypocrite….YOU HEAR THAT FACEBOOK WORLD BETHEL JOHNSON IS A DUMB HYPOCRITE.

AFM: Yeah, I’m pretty much OK with that.

Advice: How not to Audition; 18 things Actors shouldn’t do

September 20, 2009 Ashley F. MillerActing, Advice, Casting, film school2 Comments

I acted as Casting Director for the Thesis Films my last year of grad school and experienced the scariest audition ever. I would like to share the story, as a warning to other actors. Do not behave like this. Ever.

We called this actress, MKS, like 2 weeks before we landed in LA. She’d sent in her headshot and we’d thought her credentials at least earned her audition, but she never returned our call. When we land in LA, Scott, the casting assistant, has like 2 messages from MKS. Before we can call her back, she calls again.

She says she doesn’t know what the project is because her agent submitted it (even though she submitted through an actor’s site). So I explained what the project was and she said “That sounds dumb.” But she still scheduled an audition. I warned her that we were without internet and didn’t know how long it would be to get her the sides but that it’d probably be tomorrow.

That night, perhaps 3 hours after the initial call, she called again because she hadn’t gotten the sides yet.

During the next day’s auditions, she called like 10 times. In the last message, she said that she was going to have to cancel because she still hadn’t gotten the sides and didn’t think she’d be prepared, which was a shame because she’d be great for the role. Later in the day, Jess, other Casting Assistant, called her and said that we were in auditions and it would be much later that night that we’d be able to get her the sides. She called again to complain sometime that evening. We sent her the sides that night.

The next day, she was about 15 minutes late to her appt. We went to bring her in and she rebuked us, saying she wasn’t ready. She came in a few minutes later, loaded down with enough stuff to build a tent and give a power point presentation inside it. She set her stuff down.

She handed me her portfolio, which is really more of a modeling thing, not an acting one, but I obliged her by opening it, only to see a picture of her totally naked, full bush. I really wasn’t prepared for that. I immediately closed it and refused to pass it to my other casting staff.

Then she hands us three different resumes, one on pink paper. By each film, none of which have I heard of, “Blockbuster box office hit” is written. Other highlights include her age (19) and her skills (cat-fighting). Also, she put a glove on to go through her stuff, I guess to protect her from the paper.

She can’t find her sides, so I end up giving her my copy, which she takes with her instead of returning. She says that she’s uncomfortable doing something with so much “action acting” in it, which is why she brought some monologues she’d like to do. We say she doesn’t need to worry about the miming, just the emotions. She gets up and starts acting. Stops us a few lines in to start over. Second go through she tries to kiss the reader over the table. When she stops us again to tell us she could be so much better at it, I tell her to sit down before the reader’s girlfriend tests those previously advertised cat-fighting skills.

At some point in all of this she tells us that she’s pretty damn good and is perfect for the role. When she finally makes it through once, we say thanks. She tries to read her monologue and we all collectively go no thanks. She then makes sure we all get her business cards which are just pictures of her half naked jumping with her name on them.

After she leaves, we see her walk by once or twice while we’re holding auditions, like she’s pacing in the hallway, and Jess goes and checks to make sure she can’t find her. Tom and I start writing a horror movie about a crazy stalker actor because the other two say I can’t post the video on YouTube and no one will believe how awful she was. After a couple more auditions, Scott goes to get us lunch, an hour and a half passes, and I have to go use the restroom.

I open the door, and she is there, simply standing and waiting. “I need to talk to you.” Serious shades of Fatal Attraction here and I’m freaking out. But, I decide I really have to pee, so I go into the stall. “Do you mind if I talk to you while you’re in there?”

At this point my ability to not be sarcastic has stopped existing.

Me: No. I guess I can hear you.

MKS: It’s just that, I think I could do a lot better if you let me do this monologue. It’s Orin Ishii.

Me: Well, I think we’ve gotten what we need. The director will certainly be able to see whether you’re right for the role.

This exchange goes back and forth in various iterations. I come out of the stall.

MKS: Do you think I’ll get the part?

Me: Well, to be honest, the director is looking for someone a little bit older than you.

MKS: How old?

Me: Mid to late twenties.

MKS: Well, I know on my resume it says I’m 19, but I’m actually 23.

Me: … ok… well, its not about the number, it’s about how old you look.

MKS: But it’s just that I’m actually 23… let me show you my driver’s license.

Me: I don’t need to see your driver’s license. It’s about how old you look.

She starts going through her many bags.

MKS: Also, I’m sorry for how I look, I just started taking Accutane and it makes your skin break out before it gets better.

She rambles on. I am getting anxious and want to leave. She shoves the license in my face. I take it.

Me: Great. I’ve gotta get back to the auditions.

I hand her the license and start to leave. There are a couple of actors waiting, because I’ve been in the bathroom for like 10 minutes at this point. She comes up behind me.

MKS: Well, if he doesn’t cast me because of my age, that’s stupid. Because I am this character. I am just like her and I am great actress.

With that she leaves.

—

Lessons Learned:

1. Call casting people back faster than two or three weeks later
2. Don’t lie
3. Don’t call the project stupid
4. Don’t call people 15 times in one day
5. Don’t threaten the casting people
6. Don’t be late to an Audition
7. Be prepared for your Audition; don’t take 10 minutes into the audition to be settled
8. Don’t hand the Casting Director naked photos
9. Don’t print your resume on pink paper
10. Don’t have three different resumes
11. Don’t restart; if you want to do it over, ask at the end
12. Don’t try to physically touch the other reader; don’t try to kiss them
13. Don’t tell people how great you are, they won’t believe you
14. Don’t hang out outside the room after your audition is over
15. Don’t stalk the Casting Director in the bathroom
16. Don’t stalk anyone in the bathroom
17. Don’t talk to people while they’re peeing
18. Don’t lie on your resume

8 things not to do in rejection letters

September 11, 2009 Ashley F. MillerAdvice, Logging3 Comments

It frequently happens that you get rejected in this business. 9 times out of 10 the rejection comes in the form of no response. Occasionally, it comes in really patronizing, mean, or embarrassing e-mails. So, if you ever have to write a rejection letter, here are 8 pieces of advice.

1. Do get the name of the person right. For example, if their name is “Ashley” and it says “Ashley” 3 times in their e-mail, don’t begin your rejection with “Hi Arlyn”

2. Don’t insult their current line of work. For example, if they work as a logger but have sent you a long list of credits in other fields don’t say, “I see you are a logger and therefore not qualified.” That’s like saying Einstein wasn’t qualified to talk about physics because he worked as a patent clerk — refer to the relevant experience. Which leads me to the next one.

3. Don’t insult their experience, if they aren’t what you’re looking for, just say so.

4. Don’t offer them a pity internship. They applied because they wanted money. If you need an intern, post for one.

5. Do have a website and an e-mail that doesn’t end in hotmail or yahoo.

6. If you want to be treated like a professional, act professionally Every person you insult is going to be a person who says bad things about you and refuses to work with you in the future. Yes, you went to Film School and worked on the latest direct to DVD film of a fallen, embarrassing starlet, but you’re still trying to make good contacts. Don’t burn bridges. You never know.

7. Craigslist is where you find affordable up and comers, not experienced industry professionals. Experienced professionals don’t work for 1/6th the going rate.

8. Don’t admit your name is a synonym to “doofus”. That’s just going to make them giggle. Initials exist for a reason.