A present for you: Rolling in the Deep Ukulele

Yes, instead of real deep thoughtful content, I brought you this video.  Which you should appreciate as I currently can’t use my thumb because of it.

The Only Appropriate Response to Anti-Gay Chick-fil-A

This brilliant song was released in March, back when RuPaul’s Drag Race was happening. Willam is pretty much my favorite internet Drag Queen.

“So please don’t sue us for libel, we just want a little meat without your Bible…”

Willam Belli, Detox and Vicky
You might feel shame
(You should feel shame)
(You’re an abomination)
We might cross dress but that’s not what’s to blame.

Making our coins, but it’s all for food
We’ll do anything
We’re down for groups
After taking some dudes from behind
(I’m a top)
All we wanna score is chicken fried
Oh

Someday somebody’s gonna make you wanna gobble up a waffle fry
But no go
Don’t you know Chick-fil-a say
You’ll make the baby Jesus cry
(Baby who?)
Dudes with boobs
Gay-for-Pay
Even dikes say yay

So chow down at Chick-fil-A
Chow down at Chick-fil-A
Even if you’re gay
(Even if you’re gay)
Chow down at Chick-fil-A

(I know what I want)

Have it your way
(Have it your way)
(Yeah, take that shit)
BK, McD, Subway all taste the same
(Preservatives)
You’re tired of eating meat
that just went moo
(Sorry ’bout that)
Taco Tuesday makes your butt spew (Hamburger Mary’s Tace Tuesday Excluded!!!)
(farts)
(That’s gross)
So please don’t sue us for libel
(For libel)
We just want a little meat without your Bible

Someday somebody’s gonna make you want to gobble up a waffle fry.
But no no, don’t you know,
Chick-Fil-A says you make the baby Jesus cry.
Dude’s with boobs,
Gay-for-Pay, even dikes say yay

So chow down at Chick-fil-A
Chow down at Chick-fil-A
Even if you’re gay
(Even if you’re gay)
Chow down at Chick-fil-A

Come down to Chick-fil-A
Don’t matter if your gay
(Doesn’t matter)
I said no mayonnaise. Fuck!
God damn it!

Spicy fried chicken may burn hole out
Sting ring for days but that chicken’s worth the pain

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I see a rainbow
And on the other side there was
A bucket of Polynesian sauce for me to dip my nuggets in
Why is it because I live my life so gay
I should not eat Chick-fil-A?
I’m gonna eat it anyway
They say His promise is true
But what if you are a Jew?
They need a Kosher meal too
To bring their life to anew
Closed on Sunday’s, it is awful
Now there’s tears in my eyes
No more waffle fries
(Oh, man)

My only bleeding hope for the fags that can’t cope
With the fact they hate gays but the food is so dope
The chicken’s to blame
like shooting ‘caine into your own vein
(What?)
What a shame you don’t enjoy the chicken
Broiled by flame
You’ll get fisted but to eat there is d-listed
Well, I got an appetite
I ain’t got no pride
Three queens are bottomless pits
Forever in the drive-thru
Honey mustard on my tits
All for me and not for you

Someday somebody’s gonna make you wanna gobble up a waffle fry
But no go
Don’t you know Chick-fil-a say
You’ll make the baby Jesus cry
(No one cares)
Dudes with boobs
Gay-for-Pay, even dikes say yay

So chow down at Chick-fil-A
Chicken chow down
Chicken chow down
(I’ma eat up all this shit)
(That’s mine)
(That’s mine too)
Chicken chow down, baby
(You’re gonna want to pass that sauce, girl)
Put it in your mouth
Don’t matter if your gay
Chow down at Chick-fil-A
(Bible-thumping bitches)
Chicken chow down
(You’re awful)

Goodbye Encyclopedia Brown: Thank you Donald J. Sobol

One of my first introductions to critical thinking was through the Encyclopedia Brown books.  They were more like riddles than mysteries, but they always taught you to pay close attention to the details and figure out which part was bullshit.

The author of these wonderful books, Donald J. Sobol, has passed away today.

If you have a few moments today, you can go read up on the ten most difficult cases or peruse the Encyclopedia of Encyclopedia Brown.

So long, and thanks for all the fun!

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego on the Ukulele

Almost exactly what it says on the label.  Forgive my cold, my enthusiasm overcame my whole having lost my voice thing.

Goodbye, Fairy Godmother Celeste Holm

As the self-appointed art and film nerd of FtB, it is my sad duty to inform you that Celeste Holm died today at the age of 95.  She is best known for her performances in All About Eve and Gentleman’s Agreement and originating the stage role of Ado Annie in Oklahoma!

But she has a special place in my heart because she was the Fairy Godmother in the 1965 television version of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella.  I watched this many, many times as a child.  But Celeste Holm isn’t the only amazing actress in this TV movie, oh no, it also has a very young Lesley Ann Warren, Pat Carroll (the voice of Ursula!), and Ginger Rogers!  So many amazing women with so many speaking roles in one movie in the 1960s!  If you have children, like musicals, or just generally like awesomeness, you should watch this movie.

Conveniently enough, I can give you a link for you to do just that RIGHT NOW!

<3

Crash Course: Molasses to Rum to Slaves

Am I going to annoy you with this every week?  Possibly.

Also, since it’s the fourth of July, I’m going to use this excuse to post a song from 1776

Here some of the Crash Course info:

Like us!
http://www.facebook.com/youtubecrashcourse

Follow us!
@thecrashcourse
@realjohngreen
@raoulmeyer
@crashcoursestan
@thoughtbubbler
@saysdanica

Resources:

Inhuman Bondage by David Brion Davis: http://dft.ba/-inhumanbondage

Up From Slavery by Booker T Washington: http://dft.ba/-upfromslavery

Crash Course: The Best Show on the Internet

No, really.  And I am extraordinarily picky.  I don’t listen to podcasts and I rarely watch web series — despite the fact that I have worked on both, they just don’t hold my attention.  This, on the other hand, is absolute brilliance, and everyone I know who knows about it has watched the entire series of videos.

John Green, a self-deprecating James Potter look-alike, is a talented writer and charming host (who is happily married and therefore not available to return my crush) and the graphic team at Thought Bubble makes a lot of the more difficult concepts both fun and easier to understand.  Why isn’t learning always this fun?

My favorite episode is the Columbian Exchange, because that’s one of my favorite historical events and it’s video number 23, which is my favorite number.

There is also a series on science that I haven’t watched in its whole, it seems a lot less ADHD and charming, but still awesome.  I mean, introducing biology as about sex and not dying… well, hell, I’m sold.

 

Boyz-n-the-Hood on the Ukulele, as God intended

I am trying desperately to finish an independent study and start up the next one before the SSA conference next weekend.  So here’s a video of me playing the ukulele instead of an in-depth post.