Project Runway 605; Tim Gunn gets catty

I’m a big Project Runway fan, and last night they did one of my favorite things they’ve ever done, newspaper as the material.  I think that what I love best on PR is when they do unconventional things.  It seems the designers really make something creative and beautiful when they have to work with something different than cloth.

For the only time in recorded history, I actually liked almost everything that went down the Runway.  I mean, I even liked the origami birds that Johnny had going on until he went nuts and sent down that travesty.

I do feel like both Carol Hannah and Gordana got mistreated.  Gordana’s dress was gorgeous and I would totally wear it.  There’s something just icky to me about the judges hatred of all things “wearable”.  But, it also just didn’t look like paper.  The color, the pattern, it was all stunning.  Carol Hannah had just a really interesting concept with cascading block shapes.  It was really cool.  Logan’s dress was also gorgeous and got no attention.

I thought Christoper’s design looked kind of awful.  The “feather” effect was just… silly.  And the bodice was, well, it looked like some attempt at armor from a Monty Python film or something.  I liked the hair.  I also did not like Irina’s coat, though, I suppose, putting aside my dislike of her, it’s OK.  Certainly not a winner.

Oh and how about Eva Longoria Parker’s gay man snap about Tommy steaming his own clothes.  Bazing!

Oh oh, and then!  At the end, I saw the most amazing thing ever: A Catty Bitch named Tim Gunn.  That’s right, Tim Gunn, Mr. I wish he was my grandpa so I could hang out with him and hear wonderful advice and support himself, did not look Johnny in eye while giving him a stiff “Clear out your workspace” while picking meaningfully at his sleeve.  I’ve never heard Tim Gunn talk smack, but the moment Johnny left he cackled, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, you lying, drug-addled, lazy jerk!  I’m sorry I ever helped you through the first episode.”

Project Runway 605; Tim Gunn gets catty
{advertisement}

False Controversy, Darwin

I’m a big fan of Pharyngula and PZ Meyers, and I think he’s seen right through some bullshit in this post, or at least, he’s mostly seen through the bullshit.

Basically, there’s a film about Darwin that has gotten foreign distribution but hasn’t gotten a distributor in the US.  And the producer is claiming that this is because it’s too controversial to pick up.  Really, Religulous got picked up, but you’re too controversial?  With your story of a man who never admitted to not believing in God because he didn’t want to offend his wife?  Huh.

I’m pretty sure that controversy has nothing to do with the film not getting picked up. Distributors are driven solely by their bottom line and American film audiences are very different from foreign ones. We don’t go to the theatres for small movies, that’s why we have TVs. The American market picks up less films because it’s much more competitive. Hundreds and hundreds of films get made thanks to Foreign Distribution money and we just never see them here because America has got ‘better’ films to spend their money on.

Don’t forget, most foreign countries like Canada, Australia, and the UK have tons of government money to support filmmaking that’s considered artistic or educational or otherwise important. The US does not.

I’m 100% sure that, if the film is any good, it will get distribution. Probably on television or DVD, maybe with a small theatrical run, but maybe not. There are hundreds of great, small movies that are distributed in foreign markets and not here. I think that the evolution content has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Yeah.  In other news, I’ve got to get on some writing this weekend.  It seems possible that this webseries thing is going to kick into high gear and I’m going to lose my free time.  I absolutely need to have a new draft by the end of October.  And I really want to have a first act for a second script and a treatment for a third.

False Controversy, Darwin

8 things not to do in rejection letters

It frequently happens that you get rejected in this business.  9 times out of 10 the rejection comes in the form of no response.  Occasionally, it comes in really patronizing, mean, or embarrassing e-mails.  So, if you ever have to write a rejection letter, here are 8 pieces of advice.

1. Do get the name of the person right.  For example, if their name is “Ashley” and it says “Ashley” 3 times in their e-mail, don’t begin your rejection with “Hi Arlyn”

2. Don’t insult their current line of work.  For example, if they work as a logger but have sent you a long list of credits in other fields don’t say, “I see you are a logger and therefore not qualified.”  That’s like saying Einstein wasn’t qualified to talk about physics because he worked as a patent clerk — refer to the relevant experience.  Which leads me to the next one.

3. Don’t insult their experience, if they aren’t what you’re looking for, just say so.

4. Don’t offer them a pity internship.  They applied because they wanted money.  If you need an intern, post for one.

5. Do have a website and an e-mail that doesn’t end in hotmail or yahoo.

6. If you want to be treated like a professional, act professionally  Every person you insult is going to be a person who says bad things about you and refuses to work with you in the future.  Yes, you went to Film School and worked on the latest direct to DVD film of a fallen, embarrassing starlet, but you’re still trying to make good contacts.  Don’t burn bridges.  You never know.

7. Craigslist is where you find affordable up and comers, not experienced industry professionals.  Experienced professionals don’t work for 1/6th the going rate.

8. Don’t admit your name is a synonym to “doofus”.  That’s just going to make them giggle.  Initials exist for a reason.

douche

8 things not to do in rejection letters

In which I meet famous (ish) people

My work involves watching a lot of footage. I mean, a lot, a lot, of footage. There are several kinds of reality shows, but the kind I work on, the docu-soap, involves just following people around for months and months and months. And someone (me) has to watch all of the footage that they shoot. So, if there are 7 or 8 main characters whose lives aren’t always intersecting, and you film every day, every week from May through September… well, that’s a lot of footage.

So, I get to meet someone in a show I’ve been logging since May. Which is completely exciting and a little weird. I mean, I know way, way too much about this guy. Not like, I watched a show with him in it, but like I’ve watched hundreds of hours of his life. So, he’s going to be at a major deficit in knowing about me. It’s kind of like I’m an unwilling stalker meeting my willing victim.

Also, Max Adams totally commented on my post, which is like being famous. And I’m friends with Dave White. So I have a little contact with famous (ish) people.

I once exchanged e-mails with Anne Rice. I’ve met and hugged Ben Stein. This was before he made Expelled, I’m not sure I’d be so thrilled if I met him again. But at the time, I was a huge Win Bin Stein’s Money fan. I almost stepped on Kristin Chenoweth when I worked at Warner Bros. She’s really short. Mary Louise Parker almost barreled into me on the same lot.

I got to meet Jon Stewart and Mr. I’m a PC himself, John Hodgman. The sweetest most adorable man alive.  I really wish to meet Mr. Stevie Colbert because he’s from Charleston, but that might not happen.

JH: Are you another one of Josh L’s family?
AFM: No, I’m a friend of Josh’s family.
JH: I call him Mr. L.

<3
<3
I'm a mac, he's a PC
I'm a mac, he's a PC

My mother met Princess PuffySleeves Christian Siriano.

Christian Siriano and Mom

In which I meet famous (ish) people

The Gayification of Lady TV

Lifetime and Oxygen are, I think, trying to take the Fab Gay Crown from Bravo.  I mean, Lifetime desperately fought tooth and nail to get Project Runway.  And it’s, of course, the most fantastic, gayest thing on TV.  It should be noted, that I <3 the gay.  <3 it bad.

But, for those of you who doubt Oxygen has the capacity to get out of it’s old lady brand, Naughty Kitchen is going to be just as gaytastic.  The lead character is as husky voiced and sassy as your average drag queen, though she is in fact a woman.  Her obsession with pink and feminization is an extreme gender performance perhaps one step below Divine’s.  But the cast of characters takes this even further.  The women are almost all extremely loud, brassy and independent, and the men are almost invariably gay.  Gay gay gay gay gay.  You know what I’m talking about.  Finger snap, head snap, eyebrow.

Could it be gayer?

I mean, 1, look at the hair, and 2, count the amount of bj mouths.  It’s gayer than men kissing in front of a rainbow runway with hair stylists and makeup artists singing “Body Beautiful“.*

So, I mean, obviously I’m telling you to check it out, I’m waiting in great anticipation!

*Full Disclosure: To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar is the first movie I have a strong recollection of seeing in the theater, probably because I saw it a half-dozen times thanks to a babysitter completely willing to leave me at the theater and it being the only not rated R movie for a few weeks.

The Gayification of Lady TV