OSCAR Liveblog

12:04 Seth McFarlane was pretty good.  Best moment? JLaw tripping and laughing about it and Ben Affleck crying.

12:02 Closing number from Chenoweth.  GAYEST OSCARS EVER.  WE ALL WIN.

11:57 17/23

Best Picture:

Will win: Argo
Should win: Django Unchained
Should have been nominated: Hunger Games

11:54 Michelle Obama is gorgeous.  Jack is gross, but, you know, adorable in his gross way.

11:53 SHELLEY!?!??!?!!!!

11:52 Meryl and DDL are like prom king and queen of this shit forever. Jack Nicholson is perennial class clown.

11:49 Jennifer Lawrence wins for Best Animated GIF!!!

Daniel Day-Lewis is funnier than the host.

11:48 16/22

Best Actor:

Will win: Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln
Should win: Joaquin Phoenix for The Master
Should have been nominated: Anthony Hopkins for Hitchcock

11:45 Meryl Streep looked like she was scratching her butt, but she was just dealing with the fact she was stepping on her dress.

11:44 Jennifer Lawrence is so funny – You’re all standing up because I fell and that’s really embarrassing .

11:43 15/21

Best Actress:

Will win: Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook
Should win: JLaw (A); Quvenzhané Wallis for Beasts of the Southern Wild (E)
Should have been nominated: JLaw for Hunger Games

11:41 REACHED MY TWITTER LIMIT ARGH

11:33 Ang Lee. Boo. 14/20

Best Director:

Will win: Steven Spielberg for Lincoln
Should win: Benh Zeitlen for Beasts of the Southern Wild (A); Michael Haneke for Amour (E)
Should have been nominated: Kathryn Bigelow for Zero Dark Thirty

11:31 New Grey Poupon Commercial! I was just talking the other day about how I missed Grey Poupon commercials!!

11:26 I AM SO EXCITE I DIDN’T THINK HE’D WIN but now Emmett and I are tied and I’m not gonna win. 14/19

Best Original Screenplay:

Will win: Zero Dark Thirty (A); Django Unchained (E)
Should win: Django Unchained (A); Moonrise Kingdom (E)
Should have been nominated: Looper

11:24 14/18 (A); 13/18 (E)

Best Adapted Screenplay:

Will win: Argo
Should win: Argo (A); Silver Linings Playbook (E)
Should have been nominated: Hitchcock

11:22 She was so adorable accepting and trying not to cry and mess up her makeup.  LUVHUH.  Gayest Oscars of all time?

11:16 13/17; 12/17 Congrats Adele

Best Song:

Will win: Skyfall
Should win: Ted

11:12 Wow Scarlett Johannson has a good voice!

11:10 12/16 (A); 11/16 (E)

Best Score:

Will win: Life of Pi
Should win: Life of Pi

11:09 CATHERINE ZETA JONES DRESS IS AMAZING.  Queen Latifah wearing something from David’s Bridal.  Renee looks like she’s got stung in the face by a bee.

11:08 Tired. Is it over yet?

11:05 The problem with opening with Shirley Bassey is that you set the bar so high that even Babs doesn’t seem terribly impressive.

11:01 Nora Ephron ;_;

RAY BRADBURY ;_; ;_;

11:00 Tony Scott ;_;

10:58 George Clooney has aged so much with the beard that it makes me uncomfortable that he’s introducing the dead people.  Don’t Die George.

10:51 “Harry Potter and the Half-Drunk Princess.” – hahahahahahahaha PourMyCoffee on Twitter Love you Dan Rad and KStew

10:50 Lincoln! Dammit. 11/15 (A); 10/15 (E)

Best Production Design:

Will win: Les Miserables
Should win: Anna Karenina
Should have been nominated: The Dark Knight Rises 

10:47 In defense of Anne Hathaway, who I love. http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2013/01/31/why_do_people_hate_anne_hathaway_one_reason_is_simple_sexism.html

10:45 Sandra Bullock is my soulmate

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10:39 You know, the women have really brought it with the singing tonight. Maybe Les Mis would be better if it was actually Lesbo Mis.

10:37 I love Adele’s voice so much that it almost overcomes how much I don’t really like this song.

10:34 BAM ARGO ASHLEY PULLS AHEAD OF EMMETT! 11/14 (A); 10/14 (E)

Best Editing:

Will win: Argo (A); Zero Dark Thirty (E)
Should win: Argo (A); Zero Dark Thirty (E)
Should have been nominated: Hunger Games

10:32 AWWWWWWW

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10:28 There was an ad for Nashville with someone singing Fame and telling us to remember her name.  Unfortunately, I have no idea who she is and don’t care enough to google it.

10:23 TO THE SURPRISE OF NO ONE 10/13

Best Supporting Actress:

Will win: Anne Hathaway for Les Miserables
Should win: Anne Hathaway for Les Miserables

10:21 http://www.buzzfeed.com/hillaryreinsberg/sexist-things-at-the-oscars

10:19 There have been other ties in Oscars history, including in 1969 for best Actress. Hepburn and Streisand

10:17 WHAT A TIE.  I’m counting it but in addition to ZDT, another to Skyfall. 9/12 WHAT

Best Sound Editing:

Will win: Zero Dark Thirty
Should win: Zero Dark Thirty

10:14 now 8/11 EVERYONE IS BRITISH

Best Sound Mixing:

Will win: Les Miserables
Should win: Les Miserables
Should have been nominated: Pitch Perfect

10:12 Love Ted.  And Marky Mark.

10:10 Star Trek people to give sciencey awards.  Makes sense.

10:03 Les Miserables after all that amazing singing just highlights how marginal it is.

10:01 Damn. Jennifer Hudson.  She’s still no Shirley Bassey.

Still not impressed with Hugh Jackman’s nasal voice.

9:55 I can’t lie: I love Catherine Zeta Jones in this role.

9:54 John Travolta clips from Hairspray! Best!

9:52 Jennifer Garner and Jessica Chastain look nervous and awkward. 7/10

Best Foreign Language Films:

Will win: Amour
Should win: Amour

9:50 People on Twitter upset about Best Doc going to the “not hard” documentary.  It’s a filmmaking award, not a cause award.

9:46 Love JLaw

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9:44 Ben Affleck is so much better with long hair and a beard.  6/9

Best Documentary Feature:

Will win: Searching for Sugarman
Should win: 5 Broken Cameras
Should have been nominated: Mea Maxima Culpa

9:39 Liam Neeson makes this sound VERY DRAMATIC.  He is going to fuck you up if you don’t like this movie.

And then some good Led Zeppelin.  HARDCORE

ARGO FUCK YOURSELF

9:37 INOCENTE!! I am wrong, but congratulations! 5/8

Best Documentary Short:

Will win: Open Heart
Should win: Kings Point

9:36 Curfew was edited on a Macbook Pro.  I COULD BE UP THERE.  If the only thing necessary is a Macbook Pro.  That’s all it needs right? Right?

9:35 5/7

Best Live Action Short:

Will win: Curfew
Should win: Curfew

9:33 Great advertising timing Kerry Washington on right after her Scandal advert!

9:28 BOW. THE. FUCK. DOWN

Diamond Jubilee - Buckingham Palace Concert

9:26 Shirley Bassey is 76.  76.

9:25 Halle Berry Looks So Good.

She also said Pussy and “Guaranteed to make your heart feet bastard.” Yes girl yes.

9:20 And the best makeup and hair goes to Les Miserables 4/6

OH YEAH PINK TIGHTS

Best Makeup:

Will win: The Hobbit
Should win: Hitchcock (A); The Hobbit (E)
Should have been nominated: Looper

9:18 The winner of MOST costume goes to Anna Karenina 5/6

Best Costumes:

Will win: Anna Karenina
Should win: Anna Karenina
Should have been nominated: The Dark Knight Rises

9:16 Honestly, I think the Jaws music is a good idea and they have to do something to control the length of the broadcast.

9:13 OMGICANTEVENWHAT

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9:11 I feel like voters don’t know the difference between vis fx and cinematography. 4/5 of predictions

Best Visual Effects:

Will win: Life of Pi
Should win: Life of Pi
Should have been nominated: Looper

9:08 I love Robert Downey Jr So much.  And Sammy L J.  3/4 on predictions.

Best Cinematography:

Will win: Life of Pi
Should win: Django Unchained (A); Anna Karenina (E)
Should have been nominated: The Dark Knight Rises

9:05 K, these previews all make me want to cry.  Won’t lie. OMG Wallis is adorbs.

Lol Clooney drinking the free booze tossed to him from onstage.  That’s awesome.

9:02 KILT Y’ALL

mark-andrews-kilt

9:01 BRAVE!!!! 2/3

OMG LOVE HIS KILT

9:00 Paperman!!!! 1 for 2!

8:58 Nate Silver lied to me.  Otherwise I can’t find in substantial difference in the coverage of this event and the election.

8:53 Christoph Waltz is adorable.  And we’ve finally got some Jack Cam.

8:52:

Best Supporting Actor:

Will win: Tommy Lee Jones for Lincoln
Should win: Philip Seymour Hoffman for The Master (A); Robert DeNiro for Silver Linings Playbook (E)

Actual Winner: CHRISTOPH WALTZ

Love him, he’s wonderful.

8:49 I’ve seen Sally Field make out with Seth McFarlane and Daniel Radcliffe tap dance with Joseph Gordon Levitt. As cringeworthy as much of this opening was, uh, that’s kind of boss.

8:47 Sally Field making out with Seth followed by a Disney cover.  Oh ABC, what are you.

8:45 DAN RAD tap dancing with JGL!?!?!?! <3

8:40 Ah brief glimpse of jokes and now too dorky to survive.

8:36 Oh good finally getting controversial!  Rihanna joke. Mel Gibson joke.  Yikes.  And by yikes, I mean YES

8:35 Seth is vaguely funny.  He looks so young compared to the amount of stuff he’s done.  He looks like he could be 24.  Mocks the directorial snub of Argo.

I think it would be really hard trying to be “normal” humor.

8:30 Seriously the coverage is so boring that I’m excited to see the commercials instead.  It’s going to start sooon

8:22 Talking to the producers.  Still don’t care.

8:06 Adele looks like a giant next to Kristen.  Clooney looks old.  Gone from salt and pepper to mostly salt.  J Garner is wearing a beautiful color with an ass ruffle running down her back.  Daniel Radcliffe is wearing a giant bowtie.  Sandra Bullock is awkward cute. This is boring.  When does the show start?  When does my pizza get here?

7:57 DAN RAD DAN RAD DAN RAD <3<3<3

7:55 My Oscars predictions in full, along with Emmett’s, are at this link.  He and I didn’t disagree on very many predictions.  In fact, in all of the categories, we came up with a different prediction only twice — Best Editing (Argo vs Zero Dark Thirty) and Original Screenplay (Zero Dark Thirty vs Django Unchained).

7:50 Here’s a picture, courtesy Tom and Lorenzo, my favorite people in the universe.

Nicole Kidman Oscars 2013

7:40 OMG Nicole Kidman looks amazing.  And I never like Nicole Kidman!  Yes, I’ve given in and am watching the pre-show.  Charlize Theron is a giant.  Kristin Chenoweth is teeny.  I almost stepped on her once at a Starbucks and thought she was a little kid and then I was too embarrassed to also say I loved her voice, so I just… got out of her way.

Great stories like that and more on Ashley Oscar Liveblog 2013!!

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OSCAR Liveblog
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3 thoughts on “OSCAR Liveblog

  1. 3

    Great job on this liveblog. Caught me up with all the bits I missed while putting kids to bed.

    Riptide has a good point though, you forgot to condemn the establishment for perpetuating racism and sexism and such. That’s like FtB 101 or something.

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