OSCAR Liveblog


12:04 Seth McFarlane was pretty good.  Best moment? JLaw tripping and laughing about it and Ben Affleck crying.

12:02 Closing number from Chenoweth.  GAYEST OSCARS EVER.  WE ALL WIN.

11:57 17/23

Best Picture:

Will win: Argo
Should win: Django Unchained
Should have been nominated: Hunger Games

11:54 Michelle Obama is gorgeous.  Jack is gross, but, you know, adorable in his gross way.

11:53 SHELLEY!?!??!?!!!!

11:52 Meryl and DDL are like prom king and queen of this shit forever. Jack Nicholson is perennial class clown.

11:49 Jennifer Lawrence wins for Best Animated GIF!!!

Daniel Day-Lewis is funnier than the host.

11:48 16/22

Best Actor:

Will win: Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln
Should win: Joaquin Phoenix for The Master
Should have been nominated: Anthony Hopkins for Hitchcock

11:45 Meryl Streep looked like she was scratching her butt, but she was just dealing with the fact she was stepping on her dress.

11:44 Jennifer Lawrence is so funny – You’re all standing up because I fell and that’s really embarrassing .

11:43 15/21

Best Actress:

Will win: Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook
Should win: JLaw (A); Quvenzhané Wallis for Beasts of the Southern Wild (E)
Should have been nominated: JLaw for Hunger Games

11:41 REACHED MY TWITTER LIMIT ARGH

11:33 Ang Lee. Boo. 14/20

Best Director:

Will win: Steven Spielberg for Lincoln
Should win: Benh Zeitlen for Beasts of the Southern Wild (A); Michael Haneke for Amour (E)
Should have been nominated: Kathryn Bigelow for Zero Dark Thirty

11:31 New Grey Poupon Commercial! I was just talking the other day about how I missed Grey Poupon commercials!!

11:26 I AM SO EXCITE I DIDN’T THINK HE’D WIN but now Emmett and I are tied and I’m not gonna win. 14/19

Best Original Screenplay:

Will win: Zero Dark Thirty (A); Django Unchained (E)
Should win: Django Unchained (A); Moonrise Kingdom (E)
Should have been nominated: Looper

11:24 14/18 (A); 13/18 (E)

Best Adapted Screenplay:

Will win: Argo
Should win: Argo (A); Silver Linings Playbook (E)
Should have been nominated: Hitchcock

11:22 She was so adorable accepting and trying not to cry and mess up her makeup.  LUVHUH.  Gayest Oscars of all time?

11:16 13/17; 12/17 Congrats Adele

Best Song:

Will win: Skyfall
Should win: Ted

11:12 Wow Scarlett Johannson has a good voice!

11:10 12/16 (A); 11/16 (E)

Best Score:

Will win: Life of Pi
Should win: Life of Pi

11:09 CATHERINE ZETA JONES DRESS IS AMAZING.  Queen Latifah wearing something from David’s Bridal.  Renee looks like she’s got stung in the face by a bee.

11:08 Tired. Is it over yet?

11:05 The problem with opening with Shirley Bassey is that you set the bar so high that even Babs doesn’t seem terribly impressive.

11:01 Nora Ephron ;_;

RAY BRADBURY ;_; ;_;

11:00 Tony Scott ;_;

10:58 George Clooney has aged so much with the beard that it makes me uncomfortable that he’s introducing the dead people.  Don’t Die George.

10:51 “Harry Potter and the Half-Drunk Princess.” – hahahahahahahaha PourMyCoffee on Twitter Love you Dan Rad and KStew

10:50 Lincoln! Dammit. 11/15 (A); 10/15 (E)

Best Production Design:

Will win: Les Miserables
Should win: Anna Karenina
Should have been nominated: The Dark Knight Rises 

10:47 In defense of Anne Hathaway, who I love. http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2013/01/31/why_do_people_hate_anne_hathaway_one_reason_is_simple_sexism.html

10:45 Sandra Bullock is my soulmate

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10:39 You know, the women have really brought it with the singing tonight. Maybe Les Mis would be better if it was actually Lesbo Mis.

10:37 I love Adele’s voice so much that it almost overcomes how much I don’t really like this song.

10:34 BAM ARGO ASHLEY PULLS AHEAD OF EMMETT! 11/14 (A); 10/14 (E)

Best Editing:

Will win: Argo (A); Zero Dark Thirty (E)
Should win: Argo (A); Zero Dark Thirty (E)
Should have been nominated: Hunger Games

10:32 AWWWWWWW

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10:28 There was an ad for Nashville with someone singing Fame and telling us to remember her name.  Unfortunately, I have no idea who she is and don’t care enough to google it.

10:23 TO THE SURPRISE OF NO ONE 10/13

Best Supporting Actress:

Will win: Anne Hathaway for Les Miserables
Should win: Anne Hathaway for Les Miserables

10:21 http://www.buzzfeed.com/hillaryreinsberg/sexist-things-at-the-oscars

10:19 There have been other ties in Oscars history, including in 1969 for best Actress. Hepburn and Streisand

10:17 WHAT A TIE.  I’m counting it but in addition to ZDT, another to Skyfall. 9/12 WHAT

Best Sound Editing:

Will win: Zero Dark Thirty
Should win: Zero Dark Thirty

10:14 now 8/11 EVERYONE IS BRITISH

Best Sound Mixing:

Will win: Les Miserables
Should win: Les Miserables
Should have been nominated: Pitch Perfect

10:12 Love Ted.  And Marky Mark.

10:10 Star Trek people to give sciencey awards.  Makes sense.

10:03 Les Miserables after all that amazing singing just highlights how marginal it is.

10:01 Damn. Jennifer Hudson.  She’s still no Shirley Bassey.

Still not impressed with Hugh Jackman’s nasal voice.

9:55 I can’t lie: I love Catherine Zeta Jones in this role.

9:54 John Travolta clips from Hairspray! Best!

9:52 Jennifer Garner and Jessica Chastain look nervous and awkward. 7/10

Best Foreign Language Films:

Will win: Amour
Should win: Amour

9:50 People on Twitter upset about Best Doc going to the “not hard” documentary.  It’s a filmmaking award, not a cause award.

9:46 Love JLaw

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9:44 Ben Affleck is so much better with long hair and a beard.  6/9

Best Documentary Feature:

Will win: Searching for Sugarman
Should win: 5 Broken Cameras
Should have been nominated: Mea Maxima Culpa

9:39 Liam Neeson makes this sound VERY DRAMATIC.  He is going to fuck you up if you don’t like this movie.

And then some good Led Zeppelin.  HARDCORE

ARGO FUCK YOURSELF

9:37 INOCENTE!! I am wrong, but congratulations! 5/8

Best Documentary Short:

Will win: Open Heart
Should win: Kings Point

9:36 Curfew was edited on a Macbook Pro.  I COULD BE UP THERE.  If the only thing necessary is a Macbook Pro.  That’s all it needs right? Right?

9:35 5/7

Best Live Action Short:

Will win: Curfew
Should win: Curfew

9:33 Great advertising timing Kerry Washington on right after her Scandal advert!

9:28 BOW. THE. FUCK. DOWN

Diamond Jubilee - Buckingham Palace Concert

9:26 Shirley Bassey is 76.  76.

9:25 Halle Berry Looks So Good.

She also said Pussy and “Guaranteed to make your heart feet bastard.” Yes girl yes.

9:20 And the best makeup and hair goes to Les Miserables 4/6

OH YEAH PINK TIGHTS

Best Makeup:

Will win: The Hobbit
Should win: Hitchcock (A); The Hobbit (E)
Should have been nominated: Looper

9:18 The winner of MOST costume goes to Anna Karenina 5/6

Best Costumes:

Will win: Anna Karenina
Should win: Anna Karenina
Should have been nominated: The Dark Knight Rises

9:16 Honestly, I think the Jaws music is a good idea and they have to do something to control the length of the broadcast.

9:13 OMGICANTEVENWHAT

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9:11 I feel like voters don’t know the difference between vis fx and cinematography. 4/5 of predictions

Best Visual Effects:

Will win: Life of Pi
Should win: Life of Pi
Should have been nominated: Looper

9:08 I love Robert Downey Jr So much.  And Sammy L J.  3/4 on predictions.

Best Cinematography:

Will win: Life of Pi
Should win: Django Unchained (A); Anna Karenina (E)
Should have been nominated: The Dark Knight Rises

9:05 K, these previews all make me want to cry.  Won’t lie. OMG Wallis is adorbs.

Lol Clooney drinking the free booze tossed to him from onstage.  That’s awesome.

9:02 KILT Y’ALL

mark-andrews-kilt

9:01 BRAVE!!!! 2/3

OMG LOVE HIS KILT

9:00 Paperman!!!! 1 for 2!

8:58 Nate Silver lied to me.  Otherwise I can’t find in substantial difference in the coverage of this event and the election.

8:53 Christoph Waltz is adorable.  And we’ve finally got some Jack Cam.

8:52:

Best Supporting Actor:

Will win: Tommy Lee Jones for Lincoln
Should win: Philip Seymour Hoffman for The Master (A); Robert DeNiro for Silver Linings Playbook (E)

Actual Winner: CHRISTOPH WALTZ

Love him, he’s wonderful.

8:49 I’ve seen Sally Field make out with Seth McFarlane and Daniel Radcliffe tap dance with Joseph Gordon Levitt. As cringeworthy as much of this opening was, uh, that’s kind of boss.

8:47 Sally Field making out with Seth followed by a Disney cover.  Oh ABC, what are you.

8:45 DAN RAD tap dancing with JGL!?!?!?! <3

8:40 Ah brief glimpse of jokes and now too dorky to survive.

8:36 Oh good finally getting controversial!  Rihanna joke. Mel Gibson joke.  Yikes.  And by yikes, I mean YES

8:35 Seth is vaguely funny.  He looks so young compared to the amount of stuff he’s done.  He looks like he could be 24.  Mocks the directorial snub of Argo.

I think it would be really hard trying to be “normal” humor.

8:30 Seriously the coverage is so boring that I’m excited to see the commercials instead.  It’s going to start sooon

8:22 Talking to the producers.  Still don’t care.

8:06 Adele looks like a giant next to Kristen.  Clooney looks old.  Gone from salt and pepper to mostly salt.  J Garner is wearing a beautiful color with an ass ruffle running down her back.  Daniel Radcliffe is wearing a giant bowtie.  Sandra Bullock is awkward cute. This is boring.  When does the show start?  When does my pizza get here?

7:57 DAN RAD DAN RAD DAN RAD <3<3<3

7:55 My Oscars predictions in full, along with Emmett’s, are at this link.  He and I didn’t disagree on very many predictions.  In fact, in all of the categories, we came up with a different prediction only twice — Best Editing (Argo vs Zero Dark Thirty) and Original Screenplay (Zero Dark Thirty vs Django Unchained).

7:50 Here’s a picture, courtesy Tom and Lorenzo, my favorite people in the universe.

Nicole Kidman Oscars 2013

7:40 OMG Nicole Kidman looks amazing.  And I never like Nicole Kidman!  Yes, I’ve given in and am watching the pre-show.  Charlize Theron is a giant.  Kristin Chenoweth is teeny.  I almost stepped on her once at a Starbucks and thought she was a little kid and then I was too embarrassed to also say I loved her voice, so I just… got out of her way.

Great stories like that and more on Ashley Oscar Liveblog 2013!!

Comments

  1. throwaway, promised freezed peach, all we got was the pit says

    Nicole dress does look amazing. It’s one of those where you can just tell there is some really fine stitchwork/patterning going on if only you could get a closer look…

  2. says

    Didn’t you get the memo that we’re all supposed to shun Seth McFarlane for making bad jokes? Cuz, you know, FTBullies and everything.

  3. says

    Great job on this liveblog. Caught me up with all the bits I missed while putting kids to bed.

    Riptide has a good point though, you forgot to condemn the establishment for perpetuating racism and sexism and such. That’s like FtB 101 or something.

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