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Jul 18 2012

The Only Appropriate Response to Anti-Gay Chick-fil-A

This brilliant song was released in March, back when RuPaul’s Drag Race was happening. Willam is pretty much my favorite internet Drag Queen.

“So please don’t sue us for libel, we just want a little meat without your Bible…”

Willam Belli, Detox and Vicky
You might feel shame
(You should feel shame)
(You’re an abomination)
We might cross dress but that’s not what’s to blame.

Making our coins, but it’s all for food
We’ll do anything
We’re down for groups
After taking some dudes from behind
(I’m a top)
All we wanna score is chicken fried
Oh

Someday somebody’s gonna make you wanna gobble up a waffle fry
But no go
Don’t you know Chick-fil-a say
You’ll make the baby Jesus cry
(Baby who?)
Dudes with boobs
Gay-for-Pay
Even dikes say yay

So chow down at Chick-fil-A
Chow down at Chick-fil-A
Even if you’re gay
(Even if you’re gay)
Chow down at Chick-fil-A

(I know what I want)

Have it your way
(Have it your way)
(Yeah, take that shit)
BK, McD, Subway all taste the same
(Preservatives)
You’re tired of eating meat
that just went moo
(Sorry ’bout that)
Taco Tuesday makes your butt spew (Hamburger Mary’s Tace Tuesday Excluded!!!)
(farts)
(That’s gross)
So please don’t sue us for libel
(For libel)
We just want a little meat without your Bible

Someday somebody’s gonna make you want to gobble up a waffle fry.
But no no, don’t you know,
Chick-Fil-A says you make the baby Jesus cry.
Dude’s with boobs,
Gay-for-Pay, even dikes say yay

So chow down at Chick-fil-A
Chow down at Chick-fil-A
Even if you’re gay
(Even if you’re gay)
Chow down at Chick-fil-A

Come down to Chick-fil-A
Don’t matter if your gay
(Doesn’t matter)
I said no mayonnaise. Fuck!
God damn it!

Spicy fried chicken may burn hole out
Sting ring for days but that chicken’s worth the pain

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I see a rainbow
And on the other side there was
A bucket of Polynesian sauce for me to dip my nuggets in
Why is it because I live my life so gay
I should not eat Chick-fil-A?
I’m gonna eat it anyway
They say His promise is true
But what if you are a Jew?
They need a Kosher meal too
To bring their life to anew
Closed on Sunday’s, it is awful
Now there’s tears in my eyes
No more waffle fries
(Oh, man)

My only bleeding hope for the fags that can’t cope
With the fact they hate gays but the food is so dope
The chicken’s to blame
like shooting ‘caine into your own vein
(What?)
What a shame you don’t enjoy the chicken
Broiled by flame
You’ll get fisted but to eat there is d-listed
Well, I got an appetite
I ain’t got no pride
Three queens are bottomless pits
Forever in the drive-thru
Honey mustard on my tits
All for me and not for you

Someday somebody’s gonna make you wanna gobble up a waffle fry
But no go
Don’t you know Chick-fil-a say
You’ll make the baby Jesus cry
(No one cares)
Dudes with boobs
Gay-for-Pay, even dikes say yay

So chow down at Chick-fil-A
Chicken chow down
Chicken chow down
(I’ma eat up all this shit)
(That’s mine)
(That’s mine too)
Chicken chow down, baby
(You’re gonna want to pass that sauce, girl)
Put it in your mouth
Don’t matter if your gay
Chow down at Chick-fil-A
(Bible-thumping bitches)
Chicken chow down
(You’re awful)

21 comments

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  1. 1
    sisu

    LOVE WILLAM!

  2. 2
    Kaoru Negisa

    Yea, cute songs aside, still can’t eat there and can’t get behind any effort to make it seem any less like supporting an anti-gay company. The song is catchy, sure, but a catchy song about NOM would still be promoting terrible people doing horrendous things.

    Sorry if that sounds snappy, but I have hated this song since about the fifth time some moron has used it to justify giving money to those scumbags because their need for fried chicken is more important than their need for social justice. It’s a really poppy version of “some of my best friends are black. ”

    Am I being too harsh?

  3. 3
    Ashley F. Miller

    I think possibly those people using it to justify eating Chick-fil-A are missing the point of the video, which isn’t to encourage people to eat at Chick-fil-A, but to make all of Chick-fil-A’s worst homo nightmares come true. Look how gay they’re making those Waffle Fries! It’s a crime against God! What is the worst thing a gay person could publicly do to Chick-fil-A’s image? Be really gay with Chick-fil-A. Done and done. Chick-fil-A = Drag Queens, mission accomplished.

  4. 4
    Grimalkin

    I’m not totally sure how I feel about all of the “fags” and “dykes” in the song. I don’t know anything about the singers or their sexuality, so maybe they’re justified.. but eh. I keep getting the feeling that they’re drag queens who decided that that justifies using gay slurs.

    That aside, I do like the approach to dealing with Chick-fil-A,
    mainly because it’s similar to mine. That is, I use them to test out speaking in a male voice and get my genderqueer all up in their hate chicken.

    I wish it wasn’t such good hate chicken.

    That said though, I don’t like the song’s implication that there’s a problem with people who avoid chick-fil-A entirely because of this. I might have decided not to do that, but I can certainly get behind those who did.

  5. 5
    sisu

    Remember though that the song came out months ago, before the CEO took pride in confirming his bigotry. In response to that Willam made a statement that said in part (the whole thing’s here):

    Structuring your life and your company’s moral standards around the past millennium’s best selling work of fiction, and using it to justify your intolerance is lame…

    I’m currently trying to have a family (my boyfriend and I have had 2 failed attempts at IVF) and I will never allow my children to bring Chick-fil-A into my house. Now if they wanna eat it in the yard, I can’t stop em. But all jokes aside, put your money where you mouth is GLBT people and don’t eat there.

  6. 6
    samoanbiscuit

    YEYEAAAHHH! Awesome! You did a post about Drag Queens! I love this song too, especially the way they hide the fat drag queen, parodying Wilson Phillips actual strategy.

  7. 7
    Kaoru Negisa

    I see what you’re saying, but it’s not like Chick-fil-A can’t spend the ironic dollars on anti-gay measures. They don’t care if drag queens come into their stores and spend money, they only care if drag queens try to live normal lives. If they can prevent drag queens and LGBT people (separate categories, obviously, though there’s some overlap) from fully participating in society but let them participate enough to spend money that can be used to keep them from having rights, Chick-fil-A is ecstatic. They’re like the perfect intersection of everything that’s wrong with corporate America and the religious right.

    So, you’re right, it’s a valid strategy to try and basically shame them by associating their product with something they hate, but I don’t think it’ll be effective since the goal was never to keep LGBT people from eating chicken, the goal was to keep LGBT people from being treated like human beings.

  8. 8
    Kaoru Negisa

    A great statement by Willam, but I don’t buy the “this came out before…” excuse.

    It came out after the company said they specifically discriminate in their summer camp against gay kids. It came after years of donating to Focus on the Family, the Legal Defense Fund, and a number of other ultra-right anti-gay hate groups. It came after it had been discovered that the company favors married employees and discriminates against people they consider “sinful”. (http://equalitymatters.org/blog/201103220005)

    The very fact that Willam could make this song means it was in response to something (i.e. if Chick-fil-A weren’t egregiously anti-gay to begin with, the joke would have made no sense).

    All this statement seems to say is that Willam either didn’t do her research and was talking about a subject she doesn’t know enough about or is so naive that she thought that despite years of campaigning against LGBT causes, the company wasn’t really anti-gay until the CEO proudly said it.

    There was plenty of evidence that the company was bad news, and even trying to jokingly encourage people to support it only gives those on the fence a moral out so they don’t have to worry that they’re supporting bigotry.

  9. 9
    Ashley F. Miller

    Just like Jonathan Swift gave all those baby eaters a moral out.

  10. 10
    samoanbiscuit

    Shhhh. You’re talking to someone from the Plains of Tumblr. Parody is an unknown particle they lack the colliders to discover.

  11. 11
    Kaoru Negisa

    There weren’t *actually* people eating babies at the time. There are *actually* people oppressing LGBT people. Swift took a position that nobody really considered in any serious way previous to that. Willam takes a position that millions or billions of people take every year. There is a giant difference there.

  12. 12
    ohioobserver

    I don’t eat at CfA for 2 reasons:

    (1) their corporate policies are reprehensible, abd

    (B) I really dislike their food.

    Make of it what you will.

  13. 13
    Ashley F. Miller

    Yes, because no one mistreated the poor or treated them as nonhuman or watched them die of starvation with complete indifference. Satire works because it is a slight exaggeration of reality.

    You and I obviously deeply disagree over the value of parody and satire. As an awareness tool, it is incredibly value, that people misinterpret it is a sign of their indifference to social plight – the writer is highly aware and doing something to point it out.

  14. 14
    Kaoru Negisa

    Satire works because it is a slight exaggeration of reality.

    That’s kinda my point. This isn’t an exaggeration of reality. It’s a description of reality. Or in this case it’s a call to ignore reality and support a company anyway.

    The difference between your Swift example and this is that

    1. Swift took the cruelty toward the poor (and the Irish) and blew it up to an absurd level, suggesting that one was no different from the other and forcing people to question why they can allow somebody to starve to death but draw an arbitrary line at actually just eating them as children. Willam just takes a common idea (i.e. Chick-fil-A is bigoted and shouldn’t be supported) and makes a good parody about why we can ignore that common idea. It doesn’t take anything to an extreme, it just takes an opposing position for no real reason.

    2. As far as I know, there weren’t significant groups of people who read Swift and said, “You know what, he’s right. Babies are delicious!” It’s part of why we can make “atheists eat babies” jokes: it’s so insane that there is almost no chance of people actually taking it seriously unless they’re unhinged. Suggesting that it’s ok to support Chick-fil-A, on the other hand, is not that ridiculous, and you don’t have to be certifiable to come away from this with, “Well, the drag queens said it was fine, so I’m going to spend my money there.” Regular people can come to that conclusion very easily in a way that they can’t come to the conclusion that Irish babies should be consumed.

    To be honest, I agree with you wholeheartedly on the value of satire and parody. I think it’s one of the absolute best ways to promote a cause and raise awareness. I simply feel that *this particular satire* missed the mark.

    I recognize I’m probably taking this too seriously, and I’m sorry if I’m getting irritating in your comments section. Thanks for putting up with me and responding.

  15. 15
    left0ver1under

    Goose Gossage once said of McDonalds, “They’re poisoning the world.”

    I think that could be used to describe Upchuck-Fil-A, except the poison is their dogma and hate speech.

  16. 16
    Ashley F. Miller

    I think I’d be OK if everyone takes to heart the message that it’s OK to eat at Chick-fil-A so long as you go in full drag and perform sex acts with the food.

  17. 17
    Kaoru Negisa

    On that we are in complete agreement.

  18. 18
    Sassafras

    I keep getting the feeling that they’re drag queens who decided that that justifies using gay slurs.

    The main singer is one of the stars of the trans-murder-as-comedy film Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives and was one of its more outspoken defenders. Asking for sensitivity from him is probably similar to asking for money from a cat.

  19. 19
    Jay Lollar

    jajaja usando la palabra AXA forums en el buscador termine encontrandote. Me imagino que ya no posteas en el foro, porque yo no te he visto. =P

  20. 20
    Chastley

    I think Chick Fil A’s discrimination runs even deeper… they have discriminated against fish-eaters (and are therefore the mortal enemy of Greenland and Iceland) since the very beginning….

  21. 21
    Mathew Wickham

    Hamburgers are usually a feature of fast food restaurants. The hamburgers served in major fast food establishments are usually mass-produced in factories and frozen for delivery to the site. These hamburgers are thin and of uniform thickness, differing from the traditional American hamburger prepared in homes and conventional restaurants, which is thicker and prepared by hand from ground beef. ..

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    <http://www.caramoantourpackage.com/

  1. 22
    I support Ron Paul: How Satire Works | Ashley Miller

    [...] In this song I say I am voting for Ron Paul. Even though I spend the song talking about how bad Ron Paul is, since people are actually voting for Ron Paul, it’s not a joke, but will be used as moral justification for those who do. Just like the Chick-fil-A song is not a joke because people actually eat at Chick-fil-A and all the parts of the song that are talking about how bad Chick-fil-A is don’t count because people will use it as moral justification to eat there. [...]

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