Boobaversary: In Defense of Plastic Surgery

Two years ago today I got a boob job. I feel like blunt is the best way to start this conversation.

Plastic surgery is usually the butt of jokes, it’s what celebrities do to themselves that makes them look like aliens. Sure, there are burn victims and cancer victims who get cosmetic surgery, but that’s just to make them look “normal”. If you’re a “normal” person who gets plastic surgery, it’s probably because you’ve got too much money, are incredibly vain, or have no self-control when it comes to weight. If a woman gets plastic surgery, she is stupid and skanky. If a man does, he’s kind of gay.

If you’re a feminist, you are betraying your sex by succumbing to the cultural pressure of normative standards of beauty.

I am admittedly biased, but I think plastic surgery is great, why shouldn’t we be able to do whatever we want to with our bodies? Tattoos, piercings, hair dye, nose jobs, whatever… why isn’t this a great thing? My reduction is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

I introduced my procedure as a “boob job” for a reason, because it was a more aesthetic and emotional choice than a medical one. Even though reductions seem to be more culturally acceptable than augmentations, the difference is simply the direction I moved on the size scale.

I was a 32H and it was making me miserable. They were uncomfortable, there were no clothes that fit me, I always felt like people were staring at them, and the bras I had to wear were incredibly painful. I would get sores on my shoulders from where the straps dug in.

I hated my breasts. Loathed them. In fits of pique I would daydream about getting breast cancer so that I would have a reason to get rid of them entirely. Let’s just say I didn’t have a healthy working relationship with them.

I was already a D cup in 6th grade. By the time I was in high school, there were no local stores that actually stocked bras in my size.  Open stares were not uncommon.  And then there were the comments, shouts, and open groping from strangers.  I was a freak.

It took me nearly a decade from when reduction surgery was suggested to me and actually going under the knife.  It turns out surgery is really scary and you find that people are going to think less of you if you have plastic surgery.

I can usually weasel out of it because I had a reduction and not some other procedure.  I still feel obligated to emphasize just how much I had to get removed, to try to justify it.  I feel the need to tell you all that there was almost no fat in what they removed, so having more control over my weight wouldn’t have made a difference in my breast size.  I feel obligated to assure you that it was absolutely necessary, that I had macromastia, but in reality, I would have been fine without it.  Just not as happy, not as confident.

And while getting smaller breasts wouldn’t generally strike people as trying to fulfill the normative beauty standards, I immediately looked as though I’d lost 20 pounds. I think I look way more conventionally attractive now, which means that I’ve engaged in a hateful act that some people think is morally equivalent to female circumcision.

“Slicing up the body to conform to a societal ideal is inherently a woman-hating act, whether the offending body part is the clitoris or thigh fat.”

On the other hand, I no longer look like I’m smuggling party balloons under my shirt.  I can run.  I can buy bras that cost less than $150, or I can even just not wear one!  I can wear normal clothing and I am not immediately perceived as slutty for having enormous tits.

I recognize that there are a lot of cultural specifics to what we consider beautiful, but  I wasn’t trying to please anyone except for myself.  I’m still a freak, but now it’s for reasons that have nothing to do with my appearance.

Columbia women, afraid their husbands will be recognized, ban in-town sex shop

The first sex shop in the city of Columbia, SC may be shut down after members of the City Council voted to effectively ban sex shops from the city.

Unhappy wives had been appealing to the council for weeks after the “adult superstore” got its business license on December 4, citing their fear that having an adult store so close to their homes rather than on the outskirts of the city would lead their husbands to frequent such establishments more often and risk their friends at the Country Club seeing their cars.

Shelby, a conservative Christian and devoted mother of four, asks how she is supposed to explain it to her children.

Despite the fact that my children have never once pointed to a store and asked me what it was, what am I supposed to tell them when they do?  Do they really need to know that mommy met daddy when she was paying her way through college as a stripper?  Do I really want them to talk about it when playing tennis at the Club?

The beautiful building next door

The store, located in one of the busiest and ugliest corridors within city limits, is further off the road than anything nearby, but this is not enough for many of the anti-sex women in the town.  Ann, a retiree who lives nearby, is worried about her grandchildren.

I realize that there are nothing but shoddy buildings and fast food restaurants on the street, but there are some good American businesses, like check-cashing places designed to take advantage of the poor.  We don’t want a business supporting healthy sex lives, that’s not what Columbia is about.  Now, a gun store would be just the thing for that location.

Not everyone is against the store, however, and a few voices have come out in support, including Ashley, a local student.

Retroactively changing the law to punish a specific business makes these prudes much bigger a**holes than the ones undoubtedly on full display inside the store.  Think of the children?  What exactly do these people think they had to do to make their children?

A member of City Council, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, “If they’d only given us free vibrators like we’d asked, it never would have come up for a vote.”

My Vagina is Destroying America or Love from Ron Paulians

Gross Comments from Around the Web!

The overall sentiment is that I am an idiot typical woman who takes money and support from unsuspecting, trampled upon men, an uninformed cunt, a mentally retarded liberal arts failure, a really ugly troll, I should either be raped or kill myself and I should definitely never reproduce.

Egregious Comments from My Site (with contact info!):

ashleylmillerhasapenis
purelovinsoul@hotmail.com
76.28.34.59

Guys, seriously this mental midget ashleyfmiller isn’t going to understand. Her points have no validity and is basically taking everything RP’s said and turning it on its ass with no rational, realistic, thought-provoking evidence. She is a troll, which is evident by her appearance as well as her “points”, if you can even call them that. We are wasting our time on our page. Ron Paul has 30 years of consistent service to us and she only has this tiny webpage designed to piss people off, so if you’re going to post, just post “Fuck you ashleylmiller” and be on your way. Spread Ron Paul’s message because he is the last hope for the American people, and anyone tha disagrees with that can eat shit. The part that upsets me the most is the people that most vehemently protest Ron Paul’s popularity will also reap the social and economic benefits Ron Paul will produce if he becomes president.

ashleylmillerhasapenis
purelovinsoul@hotmail.com
76.28.34.59

ashleyfmiller, you are a sad, pathetic excuse of a human being. Do the world a favor and get a hysterectomy so you can’t weaken the gene pool anymore than it is. You’ve taken every one of his points out of context and clearly have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. People like you RUIN this country and any real chance at change. He hasn’t violated his own philosophies, but sometimes I feel like someone should violate your civil liberties and lock you up for being a lying, hate mongering piece of scum that you are. Final note: you’re a cunt.

garvan
garvan@garvan.com
99.226.81.106
Submitted on 2011/12/12 at 9:49 am
Why do we support Ron Paul?

Because people like Ashley F. Miller are perfectly happy with the status quo.

But hey, I don’t have a vagina, so it’s not like I can get my rich banker boyfriends to pay my way through college like Ashley F. Miller.

Congrats Ashley F. Miller! Enjoy the payoff while you can.

The “basically youngish white men”, you denigrate tend to remember the treatment they get from the little “white girls” like you while you use shame and blame to turn us into slaves, just to sell yourselves up for a piece of one of the members of the 1%.

mari dejun
maridejun@gmail.com
84.134.109.185

full of shit – full of lies – fuck you ashley f. mliler.

GFRED
fastfreddy@gmail.com
98.73.61.29

I was going to watch some of your films to verify they suck but judging by your article I wont waste my time with a mike Moore disciple. You Hollywood guys and gals obviously dont realize that this is a republic not a democracy. we have a constitution which is the law and everything in this world is not free you have to take from one person to give to another and the mandate of that is a mix of socialism/communism the opposite of the “civil rights” that you advocate

chris
frat@gmail.com
98.73.61.29

Ashley F. Miller

Filmmaker, Writer, Editor and mental retard

Obama
dashajiba@gmail.com
71.59.13.26
ugly cunt. no guy would ever fuck you. you’re a 3/10 a best in your hideous picture. go kill yourself.

Gary
garyianhaynes@aol.com
78.42.173.93

Ashley F Miller!

Wow, you really are a piece of liberal shit !

Just do the world a favor and kill yourself.

Prophit.
aar104@gmail.com
75.227.134.107

in the name of Mike Mazzone

get raped

Taylor
taylor_2_u@yahoo.com
71.158.165.178

Why does anyone like a clueless c*nt? It’s not hard to understand. There are lots of clueless c*nts around, thus the disastrous state of this country. There’s not enough intelligence to make up for so many deluded, brainwashed idiots like you. You win – and everybody loses.

I’m Ugly!:

I can feel her cold dead eyed stare expanding throughout the multi-verse.

Let’s talk about the most important topic here.

That chick looks like a ginger version of Dobby the house elf from Harry Potter. I’d give her a drunk 5.5.

“I’d give her an [EXTREMELY] drunk 5.5”

Minor correction needed.

My Degree is Stupid:

“Ashley is currently getting her PhD in Mass Communication from USC, with a focus on social media and film.”

Enough said.

And what on earth can you do with a a PhD in Mass Comm?

Teach writing at some podunk community college somewhere in California, write critical articles about “Deconstructing Transgender Stereotypes in Scooby-Doo” and the like, and complain to your friends that no one will even look at your screenplay | novel | whatever until you have succeeded in driving all but your most similarly embittered friends away.

And what on earth can you do with a a PhD in Mass Comm?

Purchase a frame?

And what on earth can you do with a a PhD in Mass Comm?

Teach other liberal atheists how to generate propoganda?

My guess

What do you mean? She has an MFA from the FSU film school, which clearly makes her qualified to make judgments about political theory.

When the time comes you need not worry. Anglos will industrialize the slaughter to new found heights. That’s what amazes me the most about the multicult. They think the likes of Paul Krugman and Nancy Pelosi have tamed us. I suspect it will look like some old episode of the X Files with the monster just below the surface bursting through the thin veneer of the multicultic skin. Silly white girls with “PhDs in Mass Communication from USC, with a focus on social media and film” will wet themselves in terror and excitement… at least for a while. Latin women will be filled with admiration… at least for a while. Then everyone will want it to end… but it won’t.

Girls are cunts!

Whether she gets your completely rational response will depend on how she feels in the moment.

She’s a complete and total cunt whose main problems with Paul are the usual inaccurate tripe “he’s a racist fun die-nutbag”. Please, what bullshit.

It upsets her that a part of what she considers her dating pool doesn’t share her political catechism. It’s tough to date outside the faith.

by spreading your legs, you give implicit permission for a child to become dependent on you.

This blog posting would be more compelling if it didn’t read like some lit chick trying to come to grips with something O-so-hard-to-understand.

This is why it’s nearly impossible to have a conversation about politics with or give any real consideration to the political sentiment of, generously, unmarried women, probably more accurately – any women who aren’t all the way through menopause yet. It’s a shame they are allowed to vote, but that’s part of the death-spiral of the republic.

The delightful and scintillating commentary of local snowflakes excepted, of course.

Well, of course you don’t get why millions of conservative Americans support RP, Ashley. It’s because you’re a raging left-wing socialist, man-hating femmetard, reverse-racist, pro-distopian, overly-artsy-fartsy, overly-idealistic, anti-logical hollywood retard. Stop trying to understand the policies of Ron Paul, give your brain cells a rest and go back to your laweekly and your bong.

I feel the same way about child molesters that you feel about the unborn (they’re not really “human,” so please, by all means, waste the scumbags).

Stupid bitch. There’s only one good thing about the coming economic collapse and it’s that this type of clueless c*nt will be too busy staving off starvation to blather her inanities.

Anyhow, I read Ashley twice and still can not figure what she hates about RP… unless she just hates men.

Racist what?

It’s funny how the Jews always want to remind us of the Holocaust …

It’s absolutely absurd. The closest thing to a fascist in the room is the black guy with the big ears and funny name.

What’s she got against straight, white, single, young, non-religious men? Once again, the diversity crowd is all for diversity as long as it agrees with them. That must be why so many aesthetically challenged women buy into it. Gives them the opportunity to exclude people from the groups in the same fashion as they were excluded from the in groups in high school.

But, thee are reasons that Jews have been hated for hundreds of years, even though it is most likely just a subset of the Jewish population that is the cause of the hatred.

This open borders business is my biggest problem with libertarians. It is anti-nationalist and pro-globalist, like marxism and communism. I know libertarianism is the ‘in’ thing this year but it does not serve the interests of the white race which is more than just the top 1% country club set.

Non-whites don’t love and worship the jews like dumb whites do.

STUPIDHEAD!

you really can’t talk about the libertarian’s voting record, since no one will give them a chance to prove how they would vote.

Thank you for your article. Even though I think it is a load of inaccruate, fear-mongering, democratic tripe, I accept your RIGHT as a free-thinking American to express such ignorant views.

I hope you dig-in-your heels and vote for either Obomb-a or Newt World Order/Romney. That way once these candidates of your choice pass the NDAA, Patriot Act II and strip away your RIGHT to criticize anything about the government for fear of being labelled a terroritst, we shall all be spared your delirious rantings.

By the way, MOST doctors don’t believe in evolution. Probably because they can see the complexity of biological systems (that demands a designer), but aren’t a slave to research grants.

In reference to your commit……. “I’ve been trying to understand why smart people I know support Ron Paul and I just can’t get my head around it.”……well Ann Miller……..Maybe the reason you cant understand is simple ……YOUR NOT AS SMART AS YOUR SMART FRIENDS …….and psychological studies show that it is often difficult for people with greatly varied IQs to communicate………you said it your friends are smart and you cant understand them well said ann well said…….in the future listen to your “smart friends”

You should try reading a book before posting shit on the internet as if you actually know what you are talking about.

What a ridiculous article. Absolutely disgraceful, and it’s depressing to know that she is a human and has a brain and STILL is that stupid.

My vague and drunken point was that I’m pretty sure Ashley knows a lot more about Adam Lambert than she does Ron Paul.

The difference between people like her and the retarded is that the retarded don’t pretend that it is superior to be stupid.

I read that little pea brain’s screed, and the level of hypocrisy is amazing. She thinks Ron Paul is anti-science (because he has doubts about evolution) but she has a problem with Paul’s stance that life begins at conception. Seriously, how can one believe in evolution, yet deny when science says life begins?

Vague Death Threat

If logic and truth had any meaning, she wouldn’t be an atheist liberal. Only a piece of lead can have any impact on such a twisted, brainwashed brain.

TL;DR

It is clear to me that I missed the most important reason not to vote for Ron Paul: the people who are going to vote for Ron Paul.

No Profanity Ordinance? Bullshit.

Today I read a news story in The State and WIS that said the Columbia Police Department is going to be enforcing a “no profanity” law within the city limits.

The police spokeswoman said: “If they want to curse, do it in their own home. Why do you have to do it in park where they are other children, other people who will. This, it’s just quite frankly, pretty rude.”

Rudeness is not illegal and no one has the right not to be offended. Furthermore, there is no clear definition of what is considered profane. There is no list of forbidden words, phrases, or subjects available to anyone that I am aware of. Or is it like pornography, we are just supposed to know it when we see it? How can they justify this, or is it just an effort to put up signs to stop people complaining at meetings?

Furthermore, based on the ordinance that they are citing, I simply do not think that someone dropping an F-bomb qualifies as Disorderly Conduct as it is defined in ordinance 14-91, the ordinance listed on the sign.

It shall be unlawful for any person within the city limits to engage in the following conduct, knowing or having reasonable grounds to know that it will tend to promote or provoke a fight, assault or brawl.

Am I to believe that simply cursing within earshot of someone is attempting to provoke a fight? Is that something any reasonable person thinks? The ordinance is clearly NOT about profanity — the term “profanity” does not appear at all — putting that on a sign is an absurd stretch.

A law banning profanity would be unconstitutional, but the law they cite doesn’t even do that! They’ve just made it up!

Atheist vs Christian Billboard: Let’s Be Friends

Nearly a month ago, I introduced you to the Columbia Coalition of Reason, which had put up a billboard inviting local non-theists to contact us.  The reaction from Christians was predominantly negative, but we also received a lot of very positive responses from both non-believers and believers.

This week, a local church decided to put up a billboard in the same location in the digital rotation along with our billboard as a direct rebuttal.

This is fantastic.  One, it means we’re in the news again, and two, it means we’ve opened a dialogue with local people of faith.

Dustin Tucker, the guy who has coordinated the billboard effort, was interviewed by local TV station WLTX and spoke to how great it was that the opposing view was speaking up and expressed hope that the atheists would be able to do some sort of joint charity effort with Park Street Baptist Church, something that’s already in the works.

Unlike the responses to the previous news stories, the ones to this seem much more level and reasonable.  Here are my two favorites:

Wow…if the billboards can co-exist..perhaps the believers and non-believers will find a way to co-exist as well.

If one wants to see God look into the eyes of a child and you will see Innocent little angels. Those who choose not to believe live very empty lives.

I love kids, don’t get me wrong, but they are definitely demons.

If you’d like to know more about the billboards you can go over to Friendly Atheist, where the president of the Pastafarians at USC has done a nice write up, go listen to the podcast I did at A Matter of Doubt, or:

TUNE IN TONIGHT!  (Sunday, 12/18) at 8PM EST to Reason Podcast where someone from the group will be chatting about it live!

Goodbye Hitchens, We Selfishly Wish You Were Still Here

Death is certain, replacing both the siren-song of Paradise and the dread of Hell. Life on this earth, with all its mystery and beauty and pain, is then to be lived far more intensely: we stumble and get up, we are sad, confident, insecure, feel loneliness and joy and love. There is nothing more; but I want nothing more. – Christopher Hitchens (1949-2011)

Podcast Part II: Winning the War of Attrition

After we completed the main hour of the podcast, we continued our conversation and the guys over at “A Matter of Doubt” have been kind enough to put it up as a bonus clip.  This is where we get into the things that I am most interested in, LGBT issues, argument, and humanism.  I almost sound like I know what I’m talking about occasionally in here, even.

Yes, I’m pretty vitriolic online, and I am willing to call people wrong and be kind of… we’ll go with “emphatic”.  Somewhat dogged.  Win the war of attrition.  But in person, in real life, in real interactions, people are worth more than ideas.  People deserve to be treated well, people deserve to be loved for who they are, they deserve to be accepted.  You can have any opinion you want about their beliefs, but at some point you have to be willing to say, you know, I disagree with you and that’s not the most important thing about you.  We’re all worthy, we’re all equal, we’re all human.  And that’s the foundation of equal rights, that’s the foundation of why we care about the LGBT issues, it’s the foundation of why we think atheists should be treated the same.  And at some point you have to be willing to stop arguing.

http://www.amatterofdoubt.com/?p=187

A Matter of Doubt Podcast: Starring Yours Truly

Unrelated Photo!

A local very cool podcast about atheism and all things philosophy had me on to talk about atheist activism and the SC billboard campaign.  It’s got my deconversion story, horror of childhood religion, and limited occurrences of me going “um, like”.  If you’re into podcasts, you should give it a listen!  I have my super sexy horrible cold voice and everything.

http://www.amatterofdoubt.com/?p=174