Oh, internet, you never fail to bring me something creepy on a regular basis. A message from a man I've never met:
Wanna go out in the boat on saturday? really, you seem cool and itd be a great time with lots of people around so you wouldnt have to worry about being murdered. I look good and im in great shape except for a little tummy fat i cant destroy. [name redacted] # [non-local phone number redacted] i know this seems crazy but i have a feeling about you like to see where it could go. no hard feelings if you think im crazy.
Well, I suppose at least there are no hard feelings. I think I'm going to avoid getting into an inescapable small space with a guy I don't know, even if he says I'm not going to get murdered… I will somehow survive missing the opportunity to introduce him to the apostrophe. Maybe some day I'll find you the message from the Floridian polygamist who wanted me to be his third wife.