Don’t read this if you’re a Misogynist, MRA, Feminazi, Femistazi, FTBully, Rape Apologist… »« Texas turnaround

Do I have to axe?

There are a number of people in the news lately accidentally shooting themselves in the foot, or in the butt, or accidentally shooting whomever is next in line at the grocery store.  Then of course we have some orange-haired joker going off on Batman with real 3D effects.  Whenever this sort of thing happens outside of Texas, it seems to prompt people to start talking about gun control again.

One thing you have to understand is that here in Texas, we teach ‘abstinence only’ sex education.  That means we don’t teach sex education at all.  There are literally teenagers here who do not know that medical tests have indicated a definite correlation between sexual activity and an increased probability of pregnancy.  Some students in this school of hard knock-ups don’t learn their lessons very well either, since we lead the nation in REPEAT teen pregnancies.  However one of our local newspapers has reported that things might not be as bad as they seem -since teen pregnancies drop off sharply in those 25 years old or older.

Ya’ll think I’m making this up, don’tcha?

Yeah, rather than arm our populace with information, we actually expect teenagers to resist one of the strongest biological drives the human body has.  Then when the graph is charted, we display it upside-down and brag about our success rates.  It’s better than having our kids know how to be and stay healthy, right?  Because teaching the next generation about responsible reproduction and disease prevention would be sinful.

Anyway since we don’t have any affordable health care either, and we’re in a record drought -NOT brought on by climate change, nor by an omnipotent god who doesn’t answer our governor’s rain-dances, then we kinda need population control.  Death penalty offenses only kill off a couple people per month.  Accidental shootings can work a lot faster -especially when you risk grabbing your hidden piece instead of your wallet -or whatever other hidden piece you were reaching for.

That’s really my biggest problem with guns.  I don’t want laws restricting anyone’s right to own or purchase or even carry whatever idiotic thing they wanna buy.  The problem is that a man with gun tucked in the front of his pants is likely to go off half-cocked.

See if you carry a gun with the intention -or even desire- to eventually use it against another person, you’re treated as a responsible citizen -even when you bring your gun to the movies, the park, or into Walmart.  But if I carry a viking bearded axe into any of these same places -for any of the practical reasons I might have an axe, I would automatically be treated as a madman.  Why?  Because you can’t hide a battle axe in your pants and you can’t use it to kill ten people from fifty feet away.   Tell me that law makes any sense.

When I first moved to Texas from Arizona, the police took away my 18″ bowie knife.  When you get used to wearing one of those on your hip everywhere, you’d be surprised how much you miss it.  You can use a giant Rambo knife for practically everything, you know?

And this is an important point:  If you do use an axe as a weopon, you’re not likely to kill anyone accidentally.  It takes strength and whole-hearted total committment to kill someone with an axe.  Any humanity you still have in you might just stay your hand.  I’m speaking from experience here.  But with a gun, it always gives 100% of it’s rage whether your heart is in it or not.  That’s what Obiwan meant when he said that blasters were clumsy and random.  Of course I’d say the same thing about a light saber too.  I’d rather have my axe.