I Get Mail – Sex for the Gods

[notice]Testing out my three tier comments policy. Expect fancier artwork to be put in place when I can get some up but consider this topic a Yellow one. Stay on target, and discuss away. And at all points will there be no personal attacks and no bigotry. The following topic is NSFW as it contains a discussion about the sex trade. If you like what you read then pass it on, as I do feel there are a fair few misconceptions[/notice]

This was watched and reviewed at the Bengaluru/Bangalore Meeting of Freethinkers and it got me thinking and one of it’s members asked me if I could have look at it. It’s about the Devdasi or the sacred prostitutes of India. I am not against it, it’s not incorrect but it has a few misconceptions that we can clear up. [Read more...]

Piano Black – Sex

Sex: n: either the male or female division of a species, especially as differentiated with reference to the reproduce functions.”

That’s the definition of sex, the cookie cutter dictionary definition. Yes it has to deal with the sperm fertilizing the egg and then the creation of life, yet I feel like it should mean more than that.  Sex is the ultimate form of bonding, physically as well as intellectually. However, sex, in my perception, is more of an expression. Often times, because very little in this life is absolute, sex alone cannot manifest into love. Sex can only come from love one person has for another.

That being established, sex is also a part of human nature, and all nature in general. Sex is a beautiful, wonderful thing, but we must know how to appreciate it.  I do not believe it should be crushed, or even glamorized. Sex is being. Yes, it’s scientifically, it was used to reproduce, but I believe it is much more than that. It is the bonding of two people, regardless of gender or race, so that they can become one. It is more about giving than receiving, fearlessly. Sex is something that should be taken very seriously. Although it is the pleasure and instant gratification that we get physically,the emotional connection between two people is what’s makes it worthwhile. An idealistic philosophy for an idealistic world. My experience is lacking in this concept, and it is always subjected to change, which is also fine too. I am completely aware that human flesh gets the better of us, and that person we had sex with maybe wasn’t the one for us after all. It is all a part of living and learning. So as I stated before that sex is not something that should be glamorized or more importantly crushed,

I believe it should be talked about with ease and comfort.  I also believe that we should discuss sex, scientifically as well as morally to our youngsters. It is very easy to think “oh well, if I tell my child about sex, they’ll want to have it” or even worse “oh, well the school system will explain sex for me”. Parents, adults, anyone who has been on this planet to learn a thing or two, do not rely on these attitudes to go about the topic of sex and the great responsibility of it. The “talk” is important because they should be aware of what everything is, how it works, and what happens if it’s not taken care of. It’s imperative to also teach them the morale behind this wonderful gift we can give to another human, and to let them know the gravity of their consequences good and bad. If our adolescents do know learn from a trusted parent or adult, they are most likely going to find out through other means that are usually not so accurate. Sex is a part of human curiosity, along other various topics of science, it demands to be explored as well as discussed.

Phone Blogging – Schrodinger’s Rapist

This is a rewrite – Blogging from the phone was an experiment and a total failure. It’s impossible to actually re-read what you wrote and spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and the like abound (even more than usual)

I dislike schrodinger’s rapist but I understand why the concept exists.

You see people judge me by what I am a lot. I have suffered some pretty overt racism (I have been prevented from flying kind of racism. I have seen my aunt stripped because they didn’t believe she was on near permanent dialysis… Because we were brown. It hurt a lot. They couldn’t even tell the difference between a HINDU and a Muslim then why on earth are they indulging in stupid procedures like this. No little old lady with a metal hip was made to strip… just the brown one) I don’t like being judged and a lot of who I am today is based on being a stupid 18 year old me prone to ripping his shirt while screaming “I WILL SHOW YOU ALL!!!”. I was the kind of person who would wear a “It’s okay, I normally pay to be degraded and stripped by a man in uniform” T-Shirt through security because for a fair while after 9/11 I would have to take pants off and get felt up. For me it was fighting back. Schrodinger’s Terrorist. (I also had an “It’s Okay! I enjoy it!” and a “At least buy a boy a drink first!” t-shirt)

I really wish women didn’t feel like all men are rapists but they do feel threatened by us because of the behaviour of our gender. Now we may not be “rapey” but there are a few who are. For all the good people do it’s easy to poison the well by the behaviour of the few. You may not be the grope monster (I am the gentleman grope monster. I take permission first!) but you certainly look like one. And that is unfortunate. So women feel threatened by us.

The correct way of dealing with this is not for me to act in the way that the grope monster does.

To walk a mile in their shoes and to recognise that their fears (While IMHO are stupid because of my experiences as a person who was judged by the fears people have had.) are based on genuine human experiences. But that’s the thing, my experiences are also subjective. My treatment as schrodinger’s terrorist means that other such treatments make me uncomfortable. I fear such concepts and dislike them because they look the same. The experiences that we face build us up. And that’s precisely why this concept exists. Because there is no “rapist” look. The nice man opening the door for you may be one, the guy you think is creepy may not.

It is a symptom of the way things are in our society. The fever is a symptom of the bacteria, not the villain in the disease. In that way schrodinger’s rapist is the symptom of the pathogen that is rape and sexual harassment. The cure is to remove the pathogen. To create a world where women aren’t raped so women don’t see men as rapists. Now I have to fight that in a “For Fuck’s Sake Stop Raping” sort of way but you guys are lucky.

The best you got is “don’t take advantage of drunk women, don’t grab women without permission”. You can do more with that than I can. You are farther ahead on the ladder of progress towards an equal society.

Some rape culture can be blamed on women too. (WHAT!) Specifically what women are told by popular culture aimed at them. No means Yes is the WORST thing on earth and I have known women who have said that. No means Try Harder? No. No should mean No. Do not listen to Cosmo or Marie Claire or any other magazine of that sort. Women are straight up being taught how to play hard to get. That’s also encouraging rape culture because you cannot tell the difference between hard to get and no.

We will teach boys not to rape and we will teach girls to say No means No and stand by it.

But for now? I give you the advice that I gave my brother when he went on dates. No means No, Maybe means No. Yes means Yes. If maybe means yes then be pleasantly surprised but live your life with the notion that maybe means no.

It is my greatest wish to destroy the very concept of Schrodinger’s Rapist but to do that we have to create a world where men and women respect each other a lot more than they do now.

(BTW I wrote this as a comment and realised it would make a pretty decent blog post. And yes it is typed up using goddamn swype… So bear with me. And boy was I right. Phone blogging is great for twitter, not for an actual blog!) Once again I apologise to readers. I don’t really think this was a good piece. It shall however stay up as a demonstration of how crummy I can really write.

Sex? Homosexuality? Masturbation? Y’all Need Jesus

I am going to let you in on a little secret.

Sex is Awesome.

Okay it’s less of a secret than I thought but you would be surprised how many religious people have hang ups over something as natural as sex. It is either shameful or sinful (because anything that fun must be bad) or they don’t want women to enjoy it.

Abrahamic faith is obsessed with sex. I will admit this, I have been celibate for a very very long time, but even I know that the catholic obsession with sex is frankly unhealthy. It is analysed and psychoanalysed and scripture is quoted, it’s got more rules than the Kama Sutra and infinitely more men men in robes. It is the fascination of those who aren’t allowed to have sex with those who are allowed to have sex. Asking catholic priests for sex advice is like asking a completely blind man about the colour coordination of your outfit. It’s silly to ask them in the first place. And it’s even more sillier to take any advice they may give.  [Read more...]

A Balanced Look at Female Genital “Mutilation” is Anything But

I started noticing a fair few hits from “The Society Pages” and went to see who was flogging my blog (That sounds… dirty, But then again with my accent saying “Can I butter your scones” can be considered as near pornographical).

What I came across was something that sets itself up to be a balanced view about the practice of female genital mutilation.

A lot of people who read that were obviously rather angry. One of them linked to my recent post on FGM and it’s defence in Islam. So I had a read on my way back from my exam and have a rebuttal. If you want to see another one, check out Zinnia’s piece on her blog.

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