Short Hair Blues

There is an article going about about short hair.

I started going bald young, I don’t know why, the doctors suggested it was due to injuries sustained when younger.

And for a long time it was a terrible thing. I tried everything. Rogaine to everyone’s natural medicine suggestions. Until finally I had to shave my head. I had an interview and let’s just say I covered for my loss of hair with stupid dye jobs.

At the time when I did it, baldness as a male hair style was becoming fashionable and still there were people who would deride my choice of hair. Particularly after moving to India, going bald was pitied.

And for a while I bought into it. Being bald sucked, mainly because women didn’t see it as attractive and because I lacked confidence (which was probably the reason why it was not attractive). I have even had patients who have far more serious conditions than me  pity me when I say that the reason I am bald is not religious but because I lost my hair. It’s just them.

In India though, hair is linked to virility. I guarantee you this, no event is as pleasurable for a man as an indian barber. Imagine a proper haircut for a few dollars (something that would cost you well into the $30 to $40 bracket out in the USA or UK), a massage and a shave with a straight edge razor (both to and against the grain). It is luxury incarnate to experience and cheap as chips. [Read more…]

A Voice For Me – Look at Me!

My name is Robert O’Hara and I am the News Director for A Voice for Men and I publicly support every person who spammed the Occidental College sexual assault and harassment reporting form.

I ache for an opportunity to get on camera and tell the public how I feel about this. My email[1] if you know anyone in the media who would like to talk to me about this.

That’s right, this is either Robert O’Hara or someone pretending to be him. [Read more…]

Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

I will do the dishes if you pay all the bills
- Where have all the Cowboys Gone

The past for many  MRA is a wonderful world.

Where men were MEN and women were WOMEN.

Not the namby pamby limpwristed men that we have today. Indeed if one remembers I am one of those weak and limp wristed men who never really do anything macho.

The reality is different. I find that I regularly do “macho” things, just not as someone seeking to do them. I mean for god sakes, I live far from basic amenities in solitude, live by doing difficult work in harsh conditions and my only company is a dog. This is so cliche that I should be wearing a cowboy hat and possessing the sort of stubble and sex appeal that makes Tom Jones jealous. At this point? I have officially decided to embrace my role as “The Manly Man” and wear my shirts with not one BUT TWO buttons opened. Feminists may faint and gnash their teeth but it’s high time I embraced my true self and come out as “the Manly Man”. No longer will I be embarrassed into not telling people about all the furniture from Ikea I have put together. No longer will I hide the fact that I own power tools and an old stick for stirring paint. No longer will people not hear about my unlimited capacity to fish or play  the most manly and rugged of all sports. Golf.

The more I read about the “stereotype of manliness” the more I realise that  most women and many men should be clutching their private parts in ecstasy at everything I write. I would suggest that my absence from the greater atheist community and meetings is of benefit lest a panel discussion be bombarded in knickers and underwear. I am sure health and safety will be pleased to hear that and not require panellists to wear goggles lest someone lose an eye to an enthusiastically flung tighty whitey. [Read more…]

A Voice for Me – Fake Rape and Not Helping Anyone

One of the problems with the MRA community is that the genuine issues that affect men tends to get ignored in exchange for simply bashing a straw (wo)man. It’s easy to dismiss it as the last hurrah of the privileged losing their privileges.

It was the victim of a “fake rape” accusation. There are two opinions as to why I was accused of raping a woman at TAM (an Event I Never Attended). One it was a casual effort to silence me among the myriad other demands to keep me quiet. Or two it was an argument being made against PZ Myers and I was just “collateral damage”. A fair target for many since they insist my problem is not my statements but the soapbox I stand on.

And I pointed out that this accusation didn’t help anyone. It didn’t help the victims of rape. It didn’t help me. It didn’t help the victims of fake rape accusations. All it did was add a case where I had to defend myself against frankly slanderous comments made under the aegis of anonymity. Women would be told how this case was another example of fake rape that is “so common”. And male victims of fake rape would be harassed as much. [Read more…]

A Voice for Me – A Firestorm of Helmet Bunnies, Sluts and Rape

[important]TW- Rape, Victim Blaming, Suicide, Depression[/important]

I recently came across this word in a twitter discussion (OKAY, Raging Argument) with Dean Esmay and Judgy Bitch. For those who don’t know who these are, Dean Esmay is one of the big shots up at A Voice for Men and Judgy Bitch is a lady MRA who I came across when she was blaming the victim of the Steubenville rape.

And this argument boiled down to the same “nonsense” that Thunderfoot was flogging. That rape victims if they don’t take specific precautions are to blame to varying levels for their rapes.

And this term “Helmet Bunny” was an affront to me. [Read more…]

A Voice for Me – Pax, Roosh and Racism

The Internet is not a private place unless you make it private. In our more networked world what we say online and how we behave is iincreasingly linked to “IRL”.

Now for the majority of us this is not a problem. Most of us aren’t doing anything “bad”. Being atheist may get you discriminated against though but for the vast majority of us, our online persona are rather benign.

But some of us suffer from the problem of free speech without understanding responsibility of it. Some of us hold views that are rather distasteful or poisonous or outright harmful and wrong. [Read more…]

A Voice for Me – Who Died and made Paul Elam the Rapefinder General?

This I got sent by a friend of mine in my other life.

You know. The one where I use my real name. And he agrees with Mr. Elam.

It’s always amusing to be told by my friends to read things here. Many don’t realise who I am. It’s kind of like being Batman.

But I digress. It’s shocking when someone you know agrees with Mr. Elam. [Read more…]

Age of Kali – Eighty Per Cent

There is a small but vocal minority of atheists who don’t think that atheism should be involved in “so called” social justice.

Which is a bit silly. I am not just an atheist. I have other things and other principles. For me my my atheism comes alongside humanist principles and I am painfully aware of the bystander principle.

And while I understand I cannot help everyone, I do my best to try and help. That is all one can really hope to do in most cases.

There is a small and vocal minority of atheists who have taken “umbrage” to the fights I chose to involve myself in. And since moving into a more mainstream blog platform I am exposed to ideas that I don’t quite like.

One of them is the MRA movement. In Particular? A Voice for Men. I have made it quite clear about my distaste and have started specifically mentioning them every time something happens in India.

Why? Because they tried to downplay the seriousness of the problem in India and even Afghanistan. They have held “devil’s advocate” positions from various members supporting cultures that are simply harmful to women. They do so under the guise of “well men have it bad, so fuck women”.

[warning]TW – Rape, Religion, Victim Blaming[/warning]

[Read more…]