Tim Lambesis was the Front-man for As I Lay Dying. A Christian Metal band. Sure. Whatever.
Tim Lambesis was caught trying to solicit a hitman to kill his wife. The story doesn’t end with him going to jail, the story ends with him claiming it was atheism that drove him to try and hire someone to kill his wife.
Look I find the whole notion of Christian Metal silly. It’s like your grandmother wearing her hat backwards to try to be cool. But if that is what makes you happy then god speed you fancy bastard. Metal has always been about sly rebellion and cheesy over the topness and the fact that Christian Metal is taken so “seriously” is rather amusing. It is like someone thinks Tenacious D is “Real”, not “parody”.
But the TL:DR version of the story was that Tim and his wife Meggan had a messy divorce which he tried to solve by having her killed. During the divorce proceedings it came to light that he was atheist because to many Christian groups, being an atheist seems to be worse than being a child molester. Certainly explains all those cover ups…. Fine… I won’t mock the Catholic Church.
“In the process of trying to defend my faith, I started thinking the other point of view was the stronger one,” he said.
Tim became an atheist because he went on a correspondence course on religion and realised he didn’t believe.
And one sin led to another, turning his renunciation of Christ into justification for his actions.
“The first time I cheated on my wife, my interpretation of morality was now convenient for me,I felt less guilty if I decided, “Well, marriage isn’t a real thing, because Christianity isn’t real. God isn’t real. Therefore, marriage is just a stupid piece of paper with the government.”
See there are two parts to me.
1. Tim Is Trying To Blame Atheism for his Actions To Return to the True Path
Remember George Rekers? Went on holiday with a “personal massage therapist” who happened to be a rent boy? Nothing wrong about that, what was wrong was the hypocrisy of Rekers being an anti-GLBT preacher while pounding sweet sweet man bums. And he too went into “hiding”. The same thing happened with Cardinal O’Brian from Scotland. Anti-GLBT, turned out to be gay.
2. Tim is Genuinely an Atheist and is Just a Tosser
Tim. Atheists called. We think you are full of shit. If ALL your wife was to you was a piece of goddamn paper and the only thing that kept you loyal to her was punishment from an angry god then you never really loved her. You never really respected her. Let me guess? Meggan is hot and looks cute and you needed to say “I do” before she let you have sex with her? Or you were told to marry her by a verbal agreement between your parents?
The fact is? Atheists do cheat and do lie to their spouses but it isn’t because we are atheists, but because we are arseholes. And Tim here is a grade S, extra large arsehole with a varnish of douchebag and a centre of shithead. Murder and Driving Laws are just pieces of paper too and not judged by any gods either.
Marriage in the modern sense is an event. An event where you sign a piece of paper. That’s it.
A wedding though? Is an event where two people pledge to try and live together for life. It is a ceremony and ritual many of us wish to have because to us it means that we found someone special. Someone we are willing to stand in front of and say that we are willing to live and die for. It means different things to different people. I know I am not all that fussed about my wedding but I know Hera looks forward to that day and because it is important to her, I do. I don’t need a government stamp to say “that I love her” but I like the idea of standing in front of my friends (I need to get some first) and telling the world how much she means to me.
In Arduis Fidelis are words I have tried to live by. Faithful in Adversity. I have never cheated on a girlfriend. I have tried to never break a promise. I am not perfect and I never kid myself, but I try to be the best I can be. And I am flawed and silly and childish and angry, but I know that I am faithful and I have faith in Hera. There is no paper between us. No contract. I don’t even believe in the gods she does. I joke that I am a better Hindu than she is because I had a classical Hindu education and so know all the stories and prayers. And we aren’t the same. We are different. She is more energetic, I am laid back. Where she panics? I do not. Where I am lazy she is active. Anger drives me to work so hard, she works because she loves things. She is impulsive, I am calculative. We aren’t the same people. We are different in many ways but similar enough. We love to talk. She is amused by my nerdiness because she never has seen anyone else talk about Star Trek or Doctor Who.
And this is why we love each other. There are so many different reasons, some of them make sense. Some of them are stupid. I infuriate Hera, I am not the sort of “normal” boyfriend she’s used to. But I do things that make her smile too.
And I think this is my last relationship. I don’t intend for this one to stop. Sure it may not be engagement rings and flowers yet, but it will be and I cannot see myself with anyone else. I really cannot.
And that is the thing. My atheism means that my love is due to Chemistry and Psychology (Or Drugs and Psychiatry… BWAHAHA!). And the thing is? I have been in “open” and “poly” relationships before. Guess what? Nowhere is this sort of behaviour anything but that of a twat.
But I continued to profess to be a Christian, as did others in the band, in order to sell records to Christian music fans.
Sure, your entire persona on stage was that of a Christian. You are no different from any other manufactured pop group. Guess what? You never really were metal to begin with because you were living a lie.
Are you serious Tim? Want to know why I was a Metal Head? And still am? I am listening to Crazy Train as I write this, and guess what? It was because we weren’t mainstream. It was one of the few places I was made welcome despite being Indian. I wasn’t an oddity. I saw less racism here than anywhere else. The only reason the British Metal Scene (back then atleast, I haven’t been to any Metal Nights in 7 years but would LOVE to go. Trying to convince Hera to come with me in Stoke….) had so few Indians was not because of racism but because it was a dark and dingy world filled with lots of White People and that tends to end poorly for us.
Metal was all about being who you wanted to be. It was always the music of outcasts and rebellion.
You are a Kiss Tribute Band. 3 Chords and Stage Persona. Nothing wrong with Kiss to be fair if you want the spectacle, but what you did was pretend.
“I remember one Christian festival where an interviewer wanted one of the guys [in the band] to share his testimony, and he just froze up and let one of the guys who was still a Christian at the time answer the question, We laughed about it afterward, but we were only laughing because it was so awkward. When kids would want to pray with us after shows, I’d be like, ‘Um, go ahead and pray!’ I would just let them pray. I’d say ‘Amen.’ If praying while I have my hand on their shoulder makes them feel better, I didn’t want to take that away from them,” he continued. “When they would specifically ask me to pray for something, I’d say, ‘I don’t really like to pray out loud, but I’ll take that with me to the bus.”
Man? Even Kanye Fucking West has more Integrity than you. He isn’t going to stop a concert in the middle of a rendition of Black Skinhead to admit that he is secretly white and pull off a mask.
But its fine. I admit atheism can be scary. Particularly if the only reason you are popular is your religion and that abandoning your religion means your entire career is broken. And I know that I regularly tell people to pretend to be religious if their lives and livelihood are at stake. But the problem is you are blaming atheism for your actions. Not standing up and accepting them.
Lambesis asked a personal trainer at his local gym if he knew any hitmen that could kill his wife. An undercover sting had him supply directions and cash to the police. Dumbass. I don’t even know how to hire a hitman and I know that “the local gym” is NOT the place to ask. Other places to not look for hitmen? Gynaecologist’s office. McDonalds and the London Philharmonic.
I am no more or less moral than the next man. I just choose to live my life in a way I think is productive and helpful. By helping others. The ending of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy moved me. It is why I refer to the Republic of Man and how we should be building heaven at our feet. I also know that the Sufis were right. He who is in love walk with paradise at his feet. I borrowed ideas and philosophies to make my way through life. Things that I thought about and said “it would be nice to be that sort of guy”.
A lack of gods doesn’t mean you can kill your wife. Or cheat. Or lie to people who trust you. A lack of gods just means you need to do things because of a rational reason rather than because the voice in the clouds told you to do so.
There are Christians already blaming his atheism for his dickery. Which is only to be expected. However the majority of atheists think that the foundations for marriage are love, respect and a shared and compatible life rather than divine fingers. Lambesis just wanted an excuse for his douchebaggery.