Tim Lambesis – I don’t think you understand Atheism or Marriage or Being A Dick

Tim Lambesis was the Front-man for As I Lay Dying. A Christian Metal band. Sure. Whatever.

Tim Lambesis was caught trying to solicit a hitman to kill his wife. The story doesn’t end with him going to jail, the story ends with him claiming it was atheism that drove him to try and hire someone to kill his wife.

Look I find the whole notion of Christian Metal silly. It’s like your grandmother wearing her hat backwards to try to be cool. But if that is what makes you happy then god speed you fancy bastard. Metal has always been about sly rebellion and cheesy over the topness and the fact that Christian Metal is taken so “seriously” is rather amusing. It is like someone thinks Tenacious D is “Real”, not “parody”.

But the TL:DR version of the story was that Tim and his wife Meggan had a messy divorce which he tried to solve by having her killed. During the divorce proceedings it came to light that he was atheist because to many Christian groups, being an atheist seems to be worse than being a child molester. Certainly explains all those cover ups…. Fine… I won’t mock the Catholic Church.

“In the process of trying to defend my faith, I started thinking the other point of view was the stronger one,” he said.

Tim became an atheist because he went on a correspondence course on religion and realised he didn’t believe.

No. You do realise Atheists have a moral code too? A Stronger One. We have to justify our codes and can’t just blindly claim to keep slaves because the boss upstairs told us to. Or treat genocide as okay if it was the good guys doing it. Or treat rape as a property crime. Or kill people for working on Sundays/Saturdays/Fridays.

“The first time I cheated on my wife, my interpretation of morality was now convenient for me,I felt less guilty if I decided, “Well, marriage isn’t a real thing, because Christianity isn’t real. God isn’t real. Therefore, marriage is just a stupid piece of paper with the government.”

See there are two parts to me.

1. Tim Is Trying To Blame Atheism for his Actions To Return to the True Path

Remember George Rekers? Went on holiday with a “personal massage therapist” who happened to be a rent boy? Nothing wrong about that, what was wrong was the hypocrisy of Rekers being an anti-GLBT preacher while pounding sweet sweet man bums. And he too went into “hiding”. The same thing happened with Cardinal O’Brian from Scotland. Anti-GLBT, turned out to be gay.

2. Tim is Genuinely an Atheist and is Just a Tosser

Tim. Atheists called. We think you are full of shit. If ALL your wife was to you was a piece of goddamn paper and the only thing that kept you loyal to her was punishment from an angry god then you never really loved her. You never really respected her. Let me guess? Meggan is hot and looks cute and you needed to say “I do” before she let you have sex with her? Or you were told to marry her by a verbal agreement between your parents?

The fact is? Atheists do cheat and do lie to their spouses but it isn’t because we are atheists, but because we are arseholes. And Tim here is a grade S, extra large arsehole with a varnish of douchebag and a centre of shithead. Murder and Driving Laws are just pieces of paper too and not judged by any gods either.

Marriage in the modern sense is an event. An event where you sign a piece of paper. That’s it.

A wedding though? Is an event where two people pledge to try and live together for life. It is a ceremony and ritual many of us wish to have because to us it means that we found someone special. Someone we are willing to stand in front of and say that we are willing to live and die for. It means different things to different people. I know I am not all that fussed about my wedding but I know Hera looks forward to that day and because it is important to her, I do. I don’t need a government stamp to say “that I love her” but I like the idea of standing in front of my friends (I need to get some first) and telling the world how much she means to me.

In Arduis Fidelis are words I have tried to live by. Faithful in Adversity. I have never cheated on a girlfriend. I have tried to never break a promise. I am not perfect and I never kid myself, but I try to be the best I can be. And I am flawed and silly and childish and angry, but I know that I am faithful and I have faith in Hera. There is no paper between us. No contract. I don’t even  believe in the gods she does. I joke that I am a better Hindu than she is because I had a classical Hindu education and so know all the stories and prayers. And we aren’t the same. We are different. She is more energetic, I am laid back. Where she panics? I do not. Where I am lazy she is active. Anger drives me to work so hard, she works because she loves things. She is impulsive, I am calculative. We aren’t the same people. We are different in many ways but similar enough. We love to talk. She is amused by my nerdiness because she never has seen anyone else talk about Star Trek or Doctor Who.

And this is why we love each other. There are so many different reasons, some of them make sense. Some of them are stupid. I infuriate Hera, I am not the sort of “normal” boyfriend she’s used to. But I do things that make her smile too.

And I think this is my last relationship. I don’t intend for this one to stop. Sure it may not be engagement rings and flowers yet, but it will be and I cannot see myself with anyone else. I really cannot.

And that is the thing. My atheism means that my love is due to Chemistry and Psychology (Or Drugs and Psychiatry… BWAHAHA!). And the thing is? I have been in “open” and “poly” relationships before. Guess what? Nowhere is this sort of behaviour anything but that of a twat.

But I continued to profess to be a Christian, as did others in the band, in order to sell records to Christian music fans.

Sure, your entire persona on stage was that of a Christian. You are no different from any other manufactured pop group. Guess what? You never really were metal to begin with because you were living a lie.

Are you serious Tim? Want to know why I was a Metal Head? And still am? I am listening to Crazy Train as I write this, and guess what? It was because we weren’t mainstream. It was one of the few places I was made welcome despite being Indian. I wasn’t an oddity. I saw less racism here than anywhere else. The only reason the British Metal Scene (back then atleast, I haven’t been to any Metal Nights in 7 years but would LOVE to go. Trying to convince Hera to come with me in Stoke….) had so few Indians was not because of racism but because it was a dark and dingy world filled with lots of White People and that tends to end poorly for us.

Metal was all about being who you wanted to be. It was always the music of outcasts and rebellion.

You are a Kiss Tribute Band. 3 Chords and Stage Persona. Nothing wrong with Kiss to be fair if you want the spectacle, but what you did was pretend.

“I remember one Christian festival where an interviewer wanted one of the guys [in the band] to share his testimony, and he just froze up and let one of the guys who was still a Christian at the time answer the question, We laughed about it afterward, but we were only laughing because it was so awkward. When kids would want to pray with us after shows, I’d be like, ‘Um, go ahead and pray!’ I would just let them pray. I’d say ‘Amen.’ If praying while I have my hand on their shoulder makes them feel better, I didn’t want to take that away from them,” he continued. “When they would specifically ask me to pray for something, I’d say, ‘I don’t really like to pray out loud, but I’ll take that with me to the bus.”

Man? Even Kanye Fucking West has more Integrity than you. He isn’t going to stop a concert in the middle of a rendition of Black Skinhead to admit that he is secretly white and pull off a mask.

But its fine. I admit atheism can be scary. Particularly if the only reason you are popular is your religion and that abandoning your religion means your entire career is broken. And I know that I regularly tell people to pretend to be religious if their lives and livelihood are at stake. But the problem is you are blaming atheism for your actions. Not standing up and accepting them.

Lambesis asked a personal trainer at his local gym if he knew any hitmen that could kill his wife. An undercover sting had him supply directions and cash to the police. Dumbass. I don’t even know how to hire a hitman and I know that “the local gym” is NOT the place to ask. Other places to not look for hitmen? Gynaecologist’s office. McDonalds and the London Philharmonic.

I am no more or less moral than the next man. I just choose to live my life in a way I think is productive and helpful. By helping others. The ending of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy moved me. It is why I refer to the Republic of Man and how we should be building heaven at our feet. I also know that the Sufis were right. He who is in love walk with paradise at his feet. I borrowed ideas and philosophies to make my way through life. Things that I thought about and said “it would be nice to be that sort of guy”.

A lack of gods doesn’t mean you can kill your wife. Or cheat. Or lie to people who trust you. A lack of gods just means you need to do things because of a rational reason rather than because the voice in the clouds told you to do so.

There are Christians already blaming his atheism for his dickery. Which is only to be expected. However the majority of atheists think that the foundations for marriage are love, respect and a shared and compatible life rather than divine fingers. Lambesis just wanted an excuse for his douchebaggery.


  1. says

    Read the interview. It’s one giant stereotypical immoral atheist accusation, and it sounds like he now believes in a god, just not fundamentalist Christianity.

    Nothing but the usual No True Scotsman argument. He was moral until he embraced atheism, then came back to God. Bullshit. He also accuses “The New Atheists” of “spreading their gospel”, calls William Lane Craig a “great writer” and posits that atheists know deep down that something is out there.

    He also blames religious indoctrination for his moral decline once he realized everything he’d been taught was bullshit.

  2. kraut says

    “Therefore, marriage is just a stupid piece of paper with the government.”

    You are way too verbose, Avi.

    The correct response to this idiot is:
    No, you are a stupid arsehole without morality. You never thought about any implications or consequences of what you are doing, because you are a stupid arsehole.
    You think you could get away with murder not because you were an atheist, no, you thought you could get away with it because you are a stupid arsehole.
    The marriage contract might be a piece of paper, but the commitment to your partner is not based on a piece of paper but based on the commitment to your partner. You did not think about that because you were an atheist, no, you did not think about it because you are a stupid arsehole.
    If you think that a sky fairies moral edicts – which are contradictory, often vile and mostly not applicable to todays society – can convince you to act in a moral and ethical manner instead of thinking what your morality and ethics should be based on and how to act in a moral and ethical manner- you are an arsehole.
    f you think that only your belief in a sky fairy protects us from your violence – then you are a stupid arsehole even bigger than I thought you are.
    Overall – the conclusion is you are a deeply amoral arsehole, religion or not.

    The conclusion suffices in this case. The rest is just trimming.

  3. It Burns, it Burns! says

    Athiests are the biggest religious fruitcakes on the planet, they have a belief in the big bang and faith in darwinism, all without the slightest shred of proof.
    Athiests are truly deluded.

    21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

    22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,

    23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

    24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

    25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.

    26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

    27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

    28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

    29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

    30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

    31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

    32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

  4. says

    It Burnsx2, you might want to read some basic science textbooks. The evidence for both the Big Bang and evolution is extensive and conclusive. I suppose you also believe the Earth is 6000 years old, and that Adam and Eve were real people.

  5. kraut says

    Fuck you asshat – bring arguments based on evidence, and stop your fucking preaching.
    And you can shove your god up your ass – or wherever it is convenient for you.

  6. says

    Your argument is Romans 21 to 32.

    Mine’s the entire Universe. Also? History Lesson. Your god is a human god too. He is jealous and angry and vindictive and violent.

    He is just like the men who created him.

  7. Holms says

    Oh shit guys, the Bible says Christianity is true! And the Bible says that everything the Bible says is correct! Logically airtight! BRB, getting baptised, it turns out that the secret to recruiting atheists is simply to drop some really condescending verses on us them.

  8. cafeeineaddicted says

    I wonder if this is a way for him to set up his return. Consider that after a couple of years, he “finds” Jesus again, and the Christie hordes are ready accept him with open arms with more ammunition that atheism destroys an Jesus saves.

  9. smrnda says

    Christian pop music always struck me as a horrible and desperate attempt to seem hip by ripping off entire musical genres, but Christian *metal* always seemed particularly silly. It’s as if some Christian marketing exec made a list of musical genres and was intent on manufacturing talentless Christian imitations the way stores make generic knock-offs of both coke and pepsi in the US.

  10. says

    Athiests are the biggest religious fruitcakes on the planet, they have a belief in the big bang and faith in darwinism, all without the slightest shred of proof.

    Weird how you think religiosity is something for which to mock another. So, you would be a slightly lesser religious fruitcake in your own estimation, or what?

    These aren’t religions. No one “believes” in the “big bang” or “Darwinism” ( I can only assume you mean the modern theory of evolution, based partly on Darwin’s theory of speciation via natural selection). Contrary to your beliefs, these models were arrived at from looking at the evidence. The ideas did not come first, but are inescapable conclusions drawn from un-ignorable mountains of observations. The theories are the structured explanations for all the facts already had, and successfully predict future observations.

    People have been atheist long before either of these theories were ever developed, try again.

    Also, both of these theories, as you name them, share the commonality that what you call them (Big Bang, Darwinism) are mocking names given by those why deny (or denied) their reality.

    Last thought: Your idiotic rant has nothing to do with the article. You’re just posting your copy/paste drivel propaganda in a random thread on an atheist site. You can’t even be bothered to engage what was written. So who is the religious fruitcake of extraordinary magnitude?

  11. lochaber says

    huh. I think I heard about this a couple months/years (I’m really bad with time…) ago, I think it was probably closer to when he actually got caught or whatever.

    I think the big thing at the time was all his fans/fellow christians defending him, because totes obvi, the bitch brought it on herself acting all whorish and bitchy and womanish. Or something, I didn’t notice anything resembling evidence.

    and I think of all the christian music genres, metal doesn’t seem that odd to me, but that’s probably just because I was aware of it at a much younger age. I think christian punk is pretty odd, with christian rap being a close second.

    And, in recent news, idiot creationist trolls are idiots.

  12. Prototype Atheist says

    “Athiests are the biggest religious fruitcakes on the planet, they have a belief in the big bang and faith in darwinism, all without the slightest shred of proof.
    Athiests are truly deluded.”

    Funny that you find the need to project your worst attributes onto others in an attempt to insult or diminish them. You cannot stand that atheists lack a need for faith and belief in things without evidence while you cling to it, so you falsely assert that belief in the Big Bang Theory and evolution require this attribute.

    First, accepting the Big Bang Theory and evolution are not requirements for being an atheist. Atheism means you lack belief in god(s). Period. That’s it. Beyond that, atheists can surely have an opinion on these matters, but they aren’t requirements. Not only that, but plenty of theists accept these theories. So your accusations ring hollow.

    Now, organic evolution is a FACT. It occurs and has occurred. We have observed the evidence. The THEORY OF EVOLUTION VIA NATURAL SELECTION is the model which explains WHY and HOW evolution occurs. If you wish to deny the theory, the fact that evolution occurs remains. For example, regardless of whether we believe that the sun orbits the Earth or vice-versa, the sun still rises and sets daily. The facts do not change regardless of the theory.

    As for the Big Bang Theory, again, it is modeled after the evidence. Sure, it is possible that the theory is not entirely accurate, but humans have been asserting “god” as the cause for things they don’t understand since they invented gods. Not once has “god” proven to the the actual cause, but it has been ruled out time and time again.

    Take if from a former Christian, your faith is untenable. It is foolish to reject actual observed reality in favor of Bronze Age mythology. Be honest with yourself and accept that your beliefs aren’t true.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>