Irony Is Dead – Catholics Demand Exorcism Because of Fears of Superstition

Apparently there has been a 6 day long meeting in Rome about the need for exorcists.

Because of an increased need to bust ghosts.

The claim is that the decline of religious belief in the West and the growth of secularism has “opened the window” to black magic, Satanism and belief in the occult, the organisers of a conference on exorcism have said.

Meaning? Secular people aren’t letting us burn witches! We need to be more like those people in Africa who beat and torture children accused of being witches. That is our lofty goal and we need 200 more priests doing that. After all? We wouldn’t want to be in thrall of the Devil!

See, I would have gone “Oh those Silly Catholic Church! Look at how silly they are!” but the thing is the conference on Exorcism and Prayers of Liberation attracted people who should know better! If there ever was an event dedicated to woo, bullshit and pseudoscience it was this and this attracted psychiatrists, sociologists, doctors and criminologists.

To discuss literal possession by an actual Devil. A gleeful and malevolent daemon.

Sponsored by GRIS, a Catholic Research Group (Irony Meter At over 9000)…. the event was designed to satiate an evergrowing need for priests to perform exorcisms because of an increased number of lay people tempted to dabble in black magic, paganism and the occult.

My question is this? Why did none of the dedicates… some of whom are psychiatrists stand up and ask if this was a fucking joke? Because among all delusions, this is pretty high up there. Literally believing in Horror Movie tropes? Never mind the fact that exorcisms have killed in the past and have often terrified the mentally  ill into believing in literal daemons.

The Catholics do realise none of those things are real? There are no witches, no daemons that possess, no black magic?

And that paganism is hardly weird or different from a religion  of celibate men in stupid hats venerating their god by adorning everything with a murder weapon. And Occult? Sinister Latin Chanting? Weird rituals involving pseudo-cannibalism and blood drinking? Strange sexual rules? Belief in daemons and witches? That’s more occult!

“We live in a disenchanted society, a secularised world that thought it was being emancipated, but where religion is being thrown out, the window is being opened to superstition and irrationality, The abandonment of religion inevitably leads people to ask questions about the existence of evil and its origins”, ” said Mr Ferrari from GRIS

These words you keep saying.

They do not mean what you think they mean. You don’t come off as wise or intelligent.

But paint eatingly stupid. And this is the kindest thing I can say.

We worry about the evil of mankind and we realise that it most often has very real reasons. That there is a timeline of events that lead to events. That many can be avoided. Some things cannot. It is why we fear and are so fascinated by serial killers. Because there is literally no reason for their actions. They are in effect irrational beings.

Even the first murder in the Bible was a product of rage and jealousy. Of hard work being unrecognised and forsaken and the capricious nature of Jehovah lead Cain to murder Abel out of greed and anger. The other joke here is that evil never really existed. And it wasn’t Satan who caused evil to come into the world.

But man acquiring knowledge which gave him the capacity to see evil. Which means Evil Existed, We just never noticed it. In the same way that we see a pretty garden. Not a murder machine of weeds and pests. Evil is in the perspective. It is why devout jains sweep their path with feathers. Because to crush an ant is nothing to you, but a great evil to the ant.

That is a more thought out and measured and sensible approach to life than “It was magical beings that made me do it. That is a childish approach to morality. By claiming that evil came from a literal scape goat which could be yelled at. In this true social evils can never be fought effectively because rather than deal with causes, this attitude deals with splashing water on things and reciting incantations in Latin.

Listen? When you have a bunch of old men in pointed hats reciting dead languages at things in order to break the known laws of physics that’s called “magic”. Like Harry Potter.

When you have a bunch of old men in pointed hats standing around a burning lower case “t” then that’s called KKK. But that’s a different kind of wizard.

About 250 priests were trained as exorcists in Italy, but many more were needed, the conference organisers claimed.

Dear Catholic Church

Have a sodding word with yourself and sort yourself out.

“Just in the dioceses of Rome, around a third of calls that are received are requests for the services of an exorcist,” said Fr Cesar Truqui, a priest and exorcist from Switzerland and a member of the Legionaries of Christ, a conservative Catholic order.

Seriously? There is a Ghostbuster line to call a wizard? And real scientists went along with this and didn’t say “this is stupid, you’re stupid, this is clearly bullshit”.

Because what else do you wish for them to say? The annals of medicine are filled with cases of people with serious mental issues or even no mental issues being given some  by the actions of exorcists.

“Exploring the theme of demonic possession does not mean causing general paranoia, but creating awareness of the existence of the Devil and of the possibility of possession, It happens rarely but you can fight it with God, with prayer, with Marian devotion.”


Demonic possession manifests itself in people babbling in foreign languages, shaking uncontrollably and vomiting nails, pieces of metal and shards of glass, according to those who believe in the phenomenon.

While doing one out of three things just makes you religious.

Also? It bemoans it’s origins. See  I know of 2 medical conditions where you would see this. For this we must look at a piece of pop culture. Anime fans. Grave of the Fireflies? You would know this condition because they show someone in there who has it.

It is called pica. We don’t really see it outside of pregnant women (The strange craving for weird food can be considered a mild form of it). But I see it in chronic starvation. It manifests itself by eating anything. Inedible things like dirt for example. I apparently had it because I had a habit of eating soap. during  my time as a refugee.

You often see it in Iron deficiency we think this may be a stress response or a method of trying out new foods or getting nutrients some other way. Some  animals have a similar process such as birds eating small stones or dogs and cats eating grass.

Today in our developed society where severe iron deficiency and starvation  are things unheard of outside abusive households, pica is seen among the mentally ill. Some autistic kids have it too as do some kids with cerebral palsy.

Now look at babbling in foreign languages (or what people think are foreign languages – Remember the Christians who speak in tongues by just making random noises that could mean “have you heard the news of Christ?” or “Your Wife is a Big Hippo! More Boiling Oil!”).

The fact is that we can see that a real medical condition has been treated as daemonic possession  and has been used to torment and torture people who literally need medical attention. That we should not be encouraging this. The fact that real doctors have supported this event is just shockingly unprofessional.

And without a doubt, it is clear that the Catholic Church has killed irony by labelling secularism a superstition because it has made people more superstitious and that the solution is more magic spells cast at people who may need medical attention by what amounts to a wizard.