I Get Hate Mail – Sochi 2014

Apparently people have taken offense to me repeating a joke I heard by Andi Osho.

I cannot believe you would politicize the olympics. The olympics are about human achievement, what have you done with your fag life that is as important as the olympics? I bet you are fat, ugly and no one would fuck you. Not even the gays. Why do you have to bring politics into sport? What great things have you achieved? I bet you were picked last for sports.

Apparently I am not only gay (news to me, I am sadly straight. That noise you hear? That’s the sound of the sound of a million hearts breaking. Which gender’s? I will leave that up to you.) but ugly to boot.

Damn! They know Hera is fictitious! Little do they know my chat up line consists of borrowing a woman’s glasses then breaking them. I campaigned against Specsavers due to their concerted effort to cockblock me!

It’s simple. Making a joke about homosexuality and Russia is not a crime. In fact, it is something I encourage. We cannot take the Olympics seriously. And I know you have practiced decades for this and this is your only chance and I cannot expect you to have my principles.

The Olympics has a charter and for the most part people have tried to stick to the charter and work towards progress. Even in the dark days of 1936 (Jesse Owens? Liked the Nazis. Hitler shook his hand. In the USA he had to take the service elevator to his own medal party because he was black. Now read that Olympic Charter.)

People made great strides towards the equality of all men and this is a step back.

And if that insults you because we are politicising sport and that we shouldn’t bring up racism or homophobia when we deal with sports then you are blind since Racism and Homophobia exist and exist within sport too. We fought incredibly dangerous and hard won battles to stand on the terraces at our football clubs. Hell! People of colour fought those same battles to PLAY football. In my lifetime the demographics of football changed to accept and play more black players to the point where they are “over-represented” due to the sheer talent coming from the community.

Sport has been used to keep out People of Colour. It is being used to force people who are gay to not be honest. We make it harder to play for them, they must endure so much more to simply walk on to the pitch. It is only fair that we work towards a world where we do not have to endure more to simply throw a damn ball or whatever it is you do.

And it may be important to you and the denigratory tone you have taken to me assumes that I have nothing important in my life too. You have tried so hard to denigrate what I do but you have no idea what I do for a living.

I don’t know who you are or what you have done. Maybe you are at the Olympics as an athlete or there as a spectator or just like the Olympics and are distressed over the whole “Gay thing”. I don’t care. I really do not. If your personal success comes at the cost of the rights of others, then your personal success is forever tarnished. But it’s your choice. It’s your choice to wear those medals, win that money and to enjoy the event. So no, I will not be watching the games or the opening ceremony. I am sure it will be nice but I have other things to deal with that are more important and less distasteful. Like leprosy.

And while I may have achieved very ordinary things, I have done them not because of talen6, but due to being incredibly stubborn, tough and working hard. Anyone can do what I do provided they are willing to stand by the sacrifices they make. It’s less rewarded than sports though. It is unlikely that I will ever attend an Olympic Game as a spectator let alone as a participant since I missed the games in my own country because I had work to do. I still have not seen the London Olympics Opening Ceremony but I am assured it’s very good. I am deeply uncool because I sadly put work first. Maybe one day I will sit down and see what the fuss was about, but as of today, I have work..

And yes, I am ugly. I know that. I am fat and ugly. But people like me in spite of that. I must be doing something wrong.

So I repeat my statement.

#Sochi2014 may be fun for you, but it’s not for me. It’s literally an event that I don’t care about since I don’t play any winter sports (I can ice skate) and I care about even less unless athletes were all running around breaking the law on purpose and showing a damn spine.

It’s an event in a country that would jail, assault and torture many of the people I know for no rational reason.


“What do you get if you cross a Russian Man with a Latvian Man?”

“You cannot, this is homosexual and illegal”

If you want your Olympics to be bereft of criticism about the Russian state sponsored bigotry, then expect me to watch this travesty, pray explain what incentive are you giving me? Watch it or I will call you gay/ugly/useless/fat?

The point of humour is often to mock the powerful. In this case to mock the Russian Government during a period of international and universal media coverage in order to make a point that the Russian Law is designed to enshrine and protect homophobia and harass and oppress the GLBT. If that makes your Olympic experience worse because it saddens you then I humbly apologise for making your games less fun by bringing up the fact that you are economically supporting a country where the GLBT are “fair game”.

And if that makes you sad then I am sorry for making you sad. Go back to your games. Ignore what I said. Don’t pay attention to the sidelines. Blinker yourself to the injustice and just keep smiling. Go be happy. You can be cheerful, content, delighted, ecstatic, elated, glad, joyful, jubilant, merry, overjoyed, pleased, thrilled…

You can be all these things, but what you cannot be is Gay. #Sochi2014


  1. abear says

    Damn! They know Hera is fictitious! Little do they know my chat up line consists of borrowing a woman’s glasses then breaking them. I campaigned against Specsavers due to their concerted effort to cockblock me!

    Change your nym to Zeus, they won’t dare to doubt you then.

  2. Robert B. says

    That’s not an Olympics joke. Despite the setup, it’s not even a race/nationality joke. It’s a politics joke. How dare you politicize politics, you cad you.

  3. otranreg says

    “What do you get if you cross a Russian Man with a Latvian Man?”

    “You cannot, this is homosexual and illegal”

    0_o Well, I am both (to the first line). What’s the joke?

  4. Al Dente says

    I cannot believe you would politicize the olympics.

    The Olympics have always been politicized. Various countries send national teams to compete. The medal score by country is published by the Olympic officials. National anthems are played and national flags are displayed at award ceremonies. Whoever thinks the Olympics aren’t political is either stupid or incredibly naive.

  5. rq says

    I’m mostly the second (though not a man, so I suppose that doesn’t count) but I’m sure I have some of the first somewhere in my lineage (it’s inevitable). :)

    This is why the Olympics this year are something of a conflict for me. I love the concept, I don’t like the politics of the host country. I’m having trouble reconciling those two thoughts with my desire to watch the athletes perform, yet not support the idealization of the situation in Russia.

  6. otranreg says

    @6 rq

    I assume the ‘Latvian Man’ was added to represent the ‘Average Eastern European’ (if such a being can ever be imagined) to the assumed audience of the joke. :)

    I actually sort of resent Olympics, and not just because I am not interested in professional sports (and in the beginning modern Olympics were not for professionals, and not just about sports), but actually because of the craploads of nationalism that goes into them — so instead of a progressive pacifist event, it’s a massively overpriced outlet for wingnut types.

    So, being surprised at why those poof-loving decadent Westerners ‘politicise’ the Olympics is a clear sign of short-sightedness. And in the best right-wing patriotic traditions, I’ve heard people put two and two together (‘Sochi Olympics’, right? + ‘criticism for anti-gay laws’, right?) and think that this is some sort of a Cold War-style conspiracy.

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  8. oursally says

    That wasn’t terribly funny. try this;

    Putin has decreed the men’s bobsleigh teams have to sit next to one another and not behind one another.

    And the bi-athletes were not permitted to enter the country.

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