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Nov 08 2013

I Get Mail – Hate Mail

This one’s proper frothing at the mouth fundie.

“Behold thus saith the Lord. The day is come that I will bring my wrath upon this land that has polluted mine words.
Ye have forsaken my statutes and judgments. Ye feed and shelter the murders while widows struggle and mourn.
Who is foolish enough to take authority over the words of God?

You keep threatening us with some magical tyrant who will come down and kill us all and torture us for eternity through magic because we don’t believe in him and his nonsense. And it keeps not happening. And it’s fitting that abrahamic faith regards knowledge to be the most dangerous thing on Earth and the acquisition of knowledge as the first sin because a lack of knowledge is considered a virtue.

Thy leaders profess they know more than your God does.
Oh Zion, do I not have the right to punish those who forget and scorn mine words? Why do ye oppose mine rule?
The daughters in Zion have provoked me to wrath. They covet much and have driven their husbands to labor for wealth, and not for the establishment of Zion.

They do more than your god. It’s called Science. It heals the lame and the blind. It cures more lepers than Jesus. For someone so against “Wealth”, I bet this man has a laptop and an internet connection where he can type large piles of stupid on behalf of his god.

Which is a sin if I remember…

Ye esteem it worthy to shield the guilty, with crafty defense ye lawyers bring down curses upon mine people. Ye legislate law to circumvent my commands. Therefore your wives shall be given to others. Yea and they shall wear sackcloth, in a time of desolation. The women who are arrogant and haughty shall never have companions, for eternity they shall weep alone.

Guilty? Of what? Love? Let me get this straight, you want us to legalise the murder of gay people because your 2000 year old book says so.

And then you think women should be defined as property of men rather than as individuals. And that you can own slaves?

Yeah. Not Going To Happen. And I am sure women don’t want your companionship. Because you keep pretending to be god and use the word Ye and I bet “verily”.

Listen I am not really the best person to give dating advice but Ye shouldn’t use Ye in Conversation Lest Ye Be Regarded as a “weirdo”. And I know movie ladies like the weirdness but frankly IMHO being a weirdo doesn’t help. It makes you look like a pick up artist. Sorry Artiste.

I have set watchmen to warn, but ye would not hear them.
Your wise men shall mourn; and they shall be cut off, and the summer harvest ended, and their souls not saved. Therefore will I give their wives to others. Because they have no shame, they have no repentance. They are the proud. Behold they shall be cut off, as I have said before because they will not abide that which is written.

Again with the women being given to other men. You do know what rape is right? Women aren’t slaves or property. If your god thinks like that then your god is frankly “evil” and is the baddie.

Your children ye have corrupted. Therefore no reason is to save them. They would only further your apostasy. Look now at what is accepted that decades ago were a reproach. Queers roam at will. Women marry not to keep the commandments, but for passion and when that is gone they are divorced.

Oh Child murder! Great! Glad to see the genocide aspect of things is still strong and kicking. Maybe you should bitch about how we fly around in giant metal tubes and don’t own slaves. And I notice that “saving children” seems to work when it’s humans doing the saving rather than prayer.

Many marry not for children, but because of children. When that passion has left, divorce abounds. Children learn to serve themselves, their passions and desires, and not the God eternal. Selfish corrupters they are, just like their parents.

The major issue with people like this is that they WILL breed. It’s actually kind of shocking how easily people like this get into relationships and how many women tolerate this kind of nonsense. In an ideal world we would solve this problem, by simply leaving this man to become a bitter, rage filled hermit but due to the strangle hold of faith, there will always be some woman who thinks that his nonsense is attractive leading to children who will suffer.

This man’s nonsense leads like the madness of Michael and Debi Pearl.

Yea, the guilty taketh truth to be hard. Some it cutteth unto repentance; most it hardeneth their heart unto destruction.
The faint hearted shall be condemned, as they have always.

If by faint hearted, you mean genuinely nice.

Yea fierce battles will I bring. That the fire may cleanse this land of the tares when the field is burned. The time is come that ashes shall blow on the winds, to the death of millions.
Yea, I have tried, but ye would not hear mine servant’s words.

More doomsday stuff? Seriously? What is it with nutcases and everyone else dying. This speaks volumes about this kind of man’s fantasies. This is the sort of man who masturbates to pictures of holocaust survivors. This is a man who needs help.

I the Lord make peace and create evil: I the Lord will fulfill all mine words. Yea in the beginning I was as the word. Yea, but men worship not my word. They have gods of their own creation and imagination. Woe unto them that have striven against mine word. Because, I have not spoken in dark secrets.

So what you are saying is that all evil in the universe is created by your god.

EVERY single step of the way man has sought to become better than your pifflingly small and impotent god. And we have managed it but we have a long way to go to create a utopia. And this irks you. Because your god is no longer relevant. You want a world filled with ignorance because knowledge of how small you are makes you realise your faith is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Mine words are plainly written to read with light in this day. Yet men walk in darkness at noonday. They refuse to see what is plain to see. Why should I excuse mine wrath? Those who reject mine word will I reject.
If your god is the source of all evil then he is evil himself and must be destroyed.
Death shall come from the Sea, and the Sky, and from the Land. When people reject revelation for their good, what else is left but for mine word to come to pass? Desolation’s are abound, so the people are worthy of more desolation. Truly shall they reap as they have sown. I will take vengeance upon the wicked that refuse to see. For they will not repent.
With so much pride, they refuse to see.

And what about the rest of the universe? Only for the earth?

With so much sanity, we refuse to see. This is clearly the rant of someone who isn’t firing with all cylinders.

I have striven with this people but they would not heed mine words. Hypocrisy is to profess to obey, yet to ignore my simple commandments. Hypocrites live for today, they consider not the resurrection; to that, as they are now. They procrastinate to become perfect. They shall rise with eternal regret.

I think you are confusing hypocrisy with hippocracy. I am a hippocrat after all. And your empirical proof of the resurrection is a 2000 year old book that says we all came about as a result of industrial grade incest.

They reject thee not my son, but they have rejected me and my words ye speak. The proud have always thought that they are the chosen people. Yet how many times have I had to bring down my wrath upon them because of their selfish pride.

Pride? On the contrary. I am not the one claiming to be best mates with a magical entity. I am not the one claiming to be perfect or know what perfection is.

In this secular existence, perfection is an illusion, regardless of those who utter the contrary. This is reality. Common man seeks it out, they strive to achieve perfection, as if it were some tangible thing… But…The fact of the matter is, perfection is a hollow shell of a word. It is devoid of any substance. I spit on perfection. Perfection, after all, implies you’ve reached the summit. No trial and error, no ability to conceptualize any more. An omniscient being would have no need for such superfluous things… For people who dabble in the sciences, perfection would make us obsolete.

Luckily for us, many magnificent things have been, and will continue to come into existence…And yet every last one of them will fall short of perfection’s finish. Our function as men of science relies on their many shortcomings. Then, and only then, can we apply the fruits of our labour. To put it simply…As soon as you began spouting that nonsense about there being an immaculate being, you are doomed to failure because you cannot see how anything can be improved. If people thought like this when they had stone tools we would still be stuck worrying about tiger attack..

They shall see the fire. Yea, too late shall they seek my face! Anguish eternal shall they regret, because they would not heed mine written words plain for all to see. Zion has polluted their inheritance, so for wrath’s have they qualified. My judgment is just. I have no other choice or I would cease to be your God. Mine words stand forever. Oh ye wise hypocrites, shall ye soon feel my wrath.

Ease up on the Dragonforce.

This whole nation seeks but in vain. They are blind because they will not forego pleasure to keep all my commands. When the wicked rule, the people mourn. Yea look around and see that mine words shall come to pass. They have no respect for what I have already said. Neverthel
ess my mercy is for those who change. A new start they require. For this life is the time to prepare for eternity. That when they are cut off they have already chosen forever that which is eternal.

If we all thought like this guy we would still be beating each other over the head with rocks and pointed sticks rather than living in the technological utopia we are trying to create.

After this field is burned, I shall set mine hand to gather the blood of Israel from the four winds, that they may establish Zion.
For Zion shall be built upon the laws of the Celestial Kingdom. No other people are worthy of heaven but those who obey mine commandments. Foolish men preach false doctrine that all shall be saved. But what shall they be saved for?
Some for eternal punishment. Does not my word say so?

Oh? So we agree that only Jews are going to survive and the rest of us mean precisely dick.

And Zion seems to be awfully backwards having both slavery and the treatment of women as property.

Do this people desire to see hell? Then tell them to reconsider my son. They are bound to foolish traditions that their foolish fathers have professed. This has always brought destruction.

Hell only exists in the minds of those who wish to create it.

I have no mercy for the un-repentant, why should I? They scoff at mine words. Do ye all not reject, those who scoff and mock and reject you? Ye understand not that I am man, though like my father, who also is man. Woman we are not. We can bring down wrath upon whomsoever we will. Woman we are not.
Yet ye have ye so feminized your ideas of God, that ye have no fear of man’s wrath.

And I don’t need mercy from Jehovah in the same way that you do not seek Shiva’s mercy. I don’t seek mercy from Voldemort either.

For all the failings of the Harry Potter series when Harry is faced with a near invulnerable omnipotent wizard seeking to enslave those who don’t follow his whims he fights back. And only a fool thinks women are not as filled with wrath and rage as men.

Yet mine servants fear mine words, and why do they suffer your rejections? Because they do my will, other than yours.
Oh ye hypocrites, I shall laugh at your calamity, ye shall weep bitter tears for your sins of unbelief. Yet some shall have no time for repentance. They have already sealed their own doom.

Says the person who uses the internet to talk about a world where we live like bronze age jews.

Believing hearts are required, not death bed regret. Scriptures are plain for those with eyes to see. Be not fooled by those who can quote them for hours, yet understand not, and disobey what is plainly written. Puffed up, traditional in pride they are.
They cannot see visions as ye have, for their love is not for mine rule, but for the things of this world. Because ye have forsaken the world, I speak unto thee. Ye shall reap as ye have sown. Hypocrites are they, and are not worthy of mercy.

Yet earlier you just admitted that your god created us this way. So which is it? Humans have free will and rejected your so called kind and loving god or are we just born this way?

They can read what I have commanded, but have rejected me, and others they follow. So have I not the right to punish mine own household? Yea as a Father his family. Yea, Judgment shall begin upon my house.

A father does not have the right to punish his own family by murder and torture. Signed Humanity.

Do people praise a father when he punishes his own? No, they scorn him, so that men have become effeminate and abusers of themselves. Yea, revilers shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Why do they profess all, to enter heaven when they die?
Not once have I said that. Lying hypocrites are they.

No. We jail the fuck out of him because he is a vicious abusive bastard.

You can keep the Kindom of Heaven. It’s filled with abusive pricks. We are constructing the Republic of Heaven right here on Earth and will continue to do so wherever humanity’s feet may take them. The Kingdom is over. In the words of Philip Pullman.

“We shouldn’t live as if it mattered more than this life in this world, because where we are is always the most important place. We need to build something. That’s why we need our full life, Pan… We wouldn’t have been able to build it. No one could if they put themselves first. We have to be all those difficult things like cheerful and kind and patient, and we’ve got to study and think and work hard, all of us, in all our different worlds and then we will build the Republic of Heaven

The days of the ungodly are at hand. My servants shall seem terrible to those who scorn mine words. Yea Zion shall become very terrible unto the wicked. They shall fear to go up to battle with Zion for the power of God shall be there. At the words of mine servants shall much destruction come upon them.
Yea those who desire to save their life shall lose it. And those who lose their life for mine sake shall find life everlasting.
M
ine army shall become great and very terrible unto the wicked of the world. Angels shall go to battle with them and shield them. Fear not even unto death. Angels will escort those who give a willing sacrifice for my kingdom, into this place. Fear not unto death, for I have power over death. But fear him that has power to destroy both body and soul in hell. Be ye washed and clean, that mine army will have faith to do mighty works. Avenge me of mine adversaries.

I wonder if angels are bulletproof.

He that is slothful shall not be worthy to stand.

Oh good! Because I work 6 days a week and close to 60 hours a week. I don’t think I can ever class myself as slothful.

The end is nigh so prepare your hearts for the sacrifice that will soon come. Be ye clean, ye that bear the vessels of the Lord. This shall be a generation to behold mine glory.

The end is nigh? Aren’t you an adorable cliché. And people have said that every single generation. Guess what. Still around.

Cease fornication against your God, that ye incur not mine wrath. Great men shall arise to battle with the wicked. I have foreordained some for this cause. The devil shall be bound after his last stand. In chains shall he rule in hell.
Yea, even the devils now in hell, believe in the power of God.

Great men such as yourself? Awful chatty there lad.

Prepare the hearts of those who would become saints, for all of the judgments of wrath, about to come upon the earth. Those that because of their transgressions they may faint not in the day of Jacobs trouble. The keys ye have been given use for the benefit of my people. Gather into the barn the chosen and curse those who will not hear. For the time of cursing the devils kingdom has come. It shall be shaken to the bone.
The marrow shall be gone. And flesh shall fall from their bone.

And on the next day, leave your barn and look very foolish around all the people who are still alive.

Turn the hearts of the children unto their Fathers, the sons of Jacob-Israel. That the earth may not be smitten totally with this curse. I have said that upon mine own house would desolation begin, so is it all to come true. When I appear I shall come in a vesture of blood, those I have slain. Thus saith, amen, saith your God.”

This just reads like the ranting of the insane. Wait… I know where I have read a rant like this…

 

Khorne? Is that you?

9 comments

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  1. 1
    CaitieCat, in no way a robot nosireebot

    The Stupid is strong with this one, young Jedi.

    Also, linguistic pedant: “ye” never meant “the” in English, even in Ye Olde Englishe. It’s basically an orthographical error, or possibly a typesetting shortcut, in whcih the “thorn” (old single character for “th” sound) has been replaced with a “yot” (y) to save on typeface space; originally distinguished by a tittle or dot above the y.

    That is, instead of having two letters, “thorn” (th) and “yot” (also “yod”; y), they used the yot for both, which then led people to read it as “ye” rather than what it really said, “the”.

    Note that this is not a complaint about “ye” as personal pronoun (2nd person informal), rather the mistaken use of “ye” as an article, when it was really just a typographical shortcut and was never pronounced anything but “the”.

    From the Great Font of (LOL) |Knowledge:

    Etymology 2

    From Middle English þe. The letter y is a variant of þ (“thorn”), a letter which corresponds to modern th, but letter þ did not exist in first press typographies, so was replaced using either “th” or “y”. Etymological y was for a time distinguished by a dot, ẏ, but the letters were conflated when that was dropped.

    Pronunciation

    Traditionally pronounced the same as the, but now often pronounced with the ordinary sound of : IPA(key): /jiː/

    (I know, I know, BAD descriptivist! but fuck it, I can be snarky if I wanna)

  2. 2
    AndrewD

    Ease up on the Dragonforce

    Sorry Avi but there is no such thing as to have too much Dragonforce

  3. 3
    Holms

    I’d back Gandalf in a fight against this ‘god’ person any day.

  4. 4
    davidforrest

    “… cured more lepers than Jesus.” What a wonderful phrase.

    Please consider this some Love Mail.

  5. 5
    beelzebubba

    Does not this deluded fundie know that The Emperor is the one true God of Mankind who shields us from Heretics, Xenos, and the perils of the Warp? This is clearly Heresy and the only appropriate response is Exterminatus

  6. 6
    Ysanne

    Given that the god this guy is trying to warn about very graphically is supposed to be omnipotent, why exactly would he need representation by homophobic bullies? If this god exists and wants to smite the sinful, fine, letter-writer should just wait for him to do that, instead of trying to take over what’s clearly god’s job to do himself.

  7. 7
    Wrath Panda

    This one’s another keeper for posterity, IMO!

    Has anyone on that there evil back channel ever suggested collating all the emails you lot get in to one giant tome of raving gibberish? You could call it, “The Big FTB Book of Religious Love” or some such. Fame and riches would await you all, Shirley?

  8. 8
    justsomeguy

    I see two possibilities with this letter:

    1. It was written by god.

    2. It was written by a person who believes in god, worships god, and has absolutely no problem pretending to *be* god and putting words in god’s mouth.

  9. 9
    Rich Woods

    @justsomeguy:

    Whether 1 or 2, it was written by a feckin’ loon.

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