I thought a little bit more about Thunderf00t’s rape Video and realised something.
The fun thing is we don’t tell women not to take precautions. We specifically tell them to take precautions and to be worried. We are making apps that let a set of trusted friends know your position on Google Maps and alerts them to your emergency. We are talking about night buses. I even know of projects to cut down on date rape by detection glasses (if a common date rape drug like GBH or Rohypnol is added to a drink the glass changes colour).
We are not suggesting to women to go out and be care free. We have never done that. We aren’t stupid. No matter how much I think my girlfriend or daughter should be able to go out and get utterly smashed should they wish to (hypothetical daughter, real girlfriend) I would not ever recommend that they did on their own without a trusted friend who won’t leave them alone. Why? Because I know we don’t live in a world where women out on the lash are as safe as men.
What we are pointing out that these precautions SHOULD be unnecessary. I don’t want women in India to have separate seating on buses. I loathe it when I have to travel on a packed train dangling on a running board while women get nice seats. But I know why they do get those. Because for what I want we would have to create a truly equal culture where women are not getting groped, harassed and raped. The people at fault for these things aren’t women but the men who are groping, harassing and raping.
Thunderfoot simply thinks when we tell “boys” not to rape we are removing all education about safety and common sense from girls. We can teach them to take precautions, what we cannot do is expect these set of frankly ludicrous precautions to be fail proof or expect women to be perfect in their utilisation. We cannot fault a woman for getting drunk in a strange place. Sometimes it happens. Compliance to these rules would ensure women live behind a sort of Burkha and would only work in an ideal world.
And it boils down to this.
You were on your own? How can you stop rape like that! Who would help you?
You were with another woman? What can a woman do to stop a strong man?
You were with another man? Slut.
It’s a no win scenario (in India at least, the western attitudes are changing after all).
We can do so much better than what we have done so far.
And I repeat. Just because we teach men responsibility and consent doesn’t mean women are going to be roaming around carefree. They still have to worry.