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Women Can’t Drive! Now You Know

As you all know, I am a totally trustworthy source of information and can categorically say that women cannot drive due to a variety of medical issues. As we all know women have descended from ribs and ribs have poor hand eye coordination. I mean if ribs were better coordinated they would not be so easily captured and converted into food!

And I have seen many movies where women upon being chased have proceeded to do nothing but scream irritatingly and be generally useless. They don’t even know how to start a car in an emergency! I mean can someone tell me just what good are women for?

No! We should be like Saudi Arabia! They got it right! Women aren’t allowed to drive. This means that there is more space and more cars for men who can drive! No more are cars removed from good honest men and given to women. No more do men have to walk to their important appointments while women use their cars to go do their hair.

In the words of Sheikh al-Luhaydan, driving could have a reverse physiological impact. Physiological science and functional medicine studied this side [and found] that it automatically affects ovaries and rolls up the pelvis. This is why we find for women who continuously drive cars their children are born with clinical disorders of varying degrees. They should consider the mind before the heart and emotion and look at this issue with a realistic eye.

So what is a Rolled Pelvis you ask? Doesn’t it sound painful. The result of this is bad and they should wait and consider the negativities, It’s bad because Luhaydan says so and if you can’t trust a Sheikh then who can you trust?

I am going to assume that the only reason Miley Cyrus is out twerking is because she was allowed to drive. All that rolling of pelvises is clearly bad for you. Even for men! Why do you think men tend to dance without using our pelvises?

Let us take a famous case. Elvis Presley. A man infamous for his pelvis. And he pooped so hard he died.

Don’t believe me? Another famous case. Michael Jackson. Turned White and lost all credibility.

Tupac Shakur? I have heard he was famous for associating with pelvis rolling and  he is dead too.

So ladies, don’t drive. And don’t tell women  in other countries to drive. It’s for their own good.

And especially don’t go and show your support for over 12,000 women who have signed on to the 26th of October act of Disobedience in Saudi Arabia where many of them will drive their cars. You shouldn’t go onto their site and find out about the protest nor should you help.

Won’t someone think of the children?

Comments

  1. says

    See, I am torn between changing the post because I know someone will not realise I am being insanely sarcastic.

    But yes Walking is good for you!

  2. rq says

    Well, I’m glad Youngest is so obsessed with the bicycle that we can’t manage to drive anywhere. And that Husband takes the car to work to keep it safe from me every day of the week. Imagine how wrong I would feel!

  3. Pen says

    It’s all true! That’s why we all need a man at our permanent disposal to act as a chauffeur. Also, if we decide to walk anywhere, a couple of bodyguards walking six paces behind us is essential. The ability to cook and perform other miscellaneous duties would be a plus. Paying the minimum wage seems a bit impractical, but with the state of the global job market being what it is, we can probably get the government to pay for their support.

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