Ladies beware! PETA has some SHCOCKING news for you.
I will be serious!
Basically, PETA sent a letter to Drew Cerza who was throwing a National Buffalo Wing Festival. That the latest scientific evidence shows that the pregnant women who eat chicken wings are more likely to have boys with small penises because of a chemical found in the bird’s flesh. And that babies of all sorts can be born with BLOCKED ARTERIES.
No seriously. This was their claim. That somehow a mother will eat so much cholesterol that their baby will incorporate it into their make up.
“Pregnant women may want to think twice before chomping on those chicken wings, or their sons could come up short,” says PETA Associate Director of Campaigns Lindsay Rajt. “Chickens may be little animals, but they suffer in a big way before their wings are hacked off for a stupid contest.”
Apparently Lindsay’s grasp of farming is pretty poor. We don’t cut the wings off chickens while they are still alive.
PETA points out that chickens suffer every day of their abbreviated lives, including when they’re hung upside down by their legs from conveyor belts before their throats are cut. They’re also often submerged in scalding-hot water to be defeathered while still conscious.
I lived in pretty rural parts of the UK and was not averse to realising where my food came. I don’t think I have ever heard of this bizarre practice where effectively alive chickens are suspended upside down and desanguinated and then immersed in boiling water when still alive.
In major poultry farming (Yes, I know. I am a man of many many talents!) you stun the birds either by electricity or by anoxic gases. Both are instantaneous, painless and can be used to render unconsicous a large number of chickens which are then exsanguinated. PETA as usual fails to mention that part.
Dear Mr. Cerza:
You may remember hearing from us a few years back, when we requested that you cancel the wing-eating competitions at the National Buffalo Wing Festival because of the cruelty inherent in poultry production. I’m reaching out again to ask you at least to take steps to ensure the safety of pregnant women by barring them from taking part in your contests. As I will explain, consuming poultry while pregnant may lead to birth defects in utero, including smaller-than-average penises for newborn boys. I think we can agree that embarrassment and insecurity are no small matters.
This isn’t the “Smoking while pregnant is bad for your baby” but the “Old Wives Tale” method of scientific advancement.
I heard unconfirmed rumours that getting the husband to tap dance for your amusement every day will make your sons and daughters to be extremely attractive, smart and have well balanced personalities. Must be research!
Penis size usually doesn’t matter. Most Pornography (I am aware of a trend of female friendly pornography where the males are less equestrian sized and more in the realm of normal penis length and girth) portrays the “AVERAGE” male member as somewhere in the realm of 7 to 12 inches. The reality is most penises lie between the 4 to 6 inch mark.
The average cervical depth is 5 inches. In fact if unprepared, what we consider as “Average” length penis may actually hit the cervix and “hurt” the woman.
The portrayal of the normal range of 4 to 6 inches as “small” is a foolish endeavour and one that PETA is utilising for their advantage. It’s often used to scare the living daylights out of young men who think it’s size that counts rather than the maneuvers.
Findings published by the Study for Future Families showed that eating poultry during pregnancy may lead to smaller penis size in male infants. Looking at dairy products, eggs, fish, fruit, bird meat, potatoes, tomatoes, vegetables, and red meat, researchers found the most significant link between chicken consumption and decreased penis size because of a chemical compound found in the meat. Furthermore, evidence indicates that heterosexual women’s sexual satisfaction depends in part on their partner’s penis size.
Did you ask porn stars? Because porn fetishises massive penises. Technique counts. If your methodology is a jackhammer approach then chances are you will climax before her and she will be unsatisfied. 70% of women cannot orgasm without clitoral stimulation. A penis above the norm would actually make it HARDER for most women to orgasm.
Look women like what they like. And I kind of realised that what women like most in a guy is his personality and who he is more than dimensions of his penis.
At no point during the human mating process does the man have to whip it out and demonstrate size. It’s safe to say that human sexuality only considers the penis important due to social pressure rather than pleasure. Chances are your penis will be average. Chances are what you need is practice.
Chances are what you don’t need is unscientific claims by PETA about pthalates stealing penises. Down that road lies Koro (A Psychological disorder where the patient believes the genitals are shrinking or were “stolen”).
Even the cruelest of bedroom ridicule pales in comparison to the suffering that smart, sensitive chickens endure for the wings so casually consumed in contests such as these. Chickens raised for meat are bred and drugged to grow so large, so fast, that they are prone to crippling leg injuries and heart attacks. After a lifetime in cramped, filthy sheds, chickens are sent to the slaughterhouse, where their throats are cut while they are still conscious and their bodies are dunked in scalding-hot water. In addition, eating cholesterol-laden chicken flesh during pregnancy may also increase unborn babies’ risk of being born with blocked arteries, which can lead to strokes and heart attacks later in life.
This is such a non-sequitor of trying to compare the fear of ridicule during sex to the death of a purpose bred animal who’s only goal in life is to eat, lay eggs and be delicious. Because in PETA’s mind we will release the mighty chicken into the wilds where they will soar proudly through the air in majestic formation.
Rather than be evil little blighters who eat each other if you don’t keep them apart.
And this is without the important “Truth” about slaughter methods I mentioned. I am sure the USA isn’t “saving” money by having it’s workers attempt to cut the throats of struggling chickens. Down that road lies “accidents”. Even the corner butcher’s shops here that will kill and dress a chicken for you while you wait (so it’s really fresh) prefer breaking their necks causing unconsciousness and death in seconds rather than this bizarre image of struggling upside down chickens.
And this is without one most important fact here. One that is vital.
A penis is measured only on erection. Your bouncing baby boy isn’t going to be born with an adult sized penis in full erection. You cannot tell what his final penis length will be based on flaccid penis measurements made on birth. I really don’t even see the point of this research and think it’s highly suspicious both in purpose and methodology.
Now that you are well endowed with this information, I hope you will have the backs of future Buffalo residents and visitors by not allowing their pregnant mothers to participate in the wing-eating contest. I hope to hear from you soon.
A random PETA member makes ridiculous claims with no known scientific evidence (I checked, the original article she claims actually is a plot of sperm counts) about something with no known risk and then proceeds to misrepresent everything from basic farming practice to sex and human development while perpetrating the myth that pornography penises are the norm.
Associate Director of Campaigns
I think we need to look up the meaning of the word sincere.