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Jul 31 2013

I Get Mail – Feminazis

I sometimes get some very strange strange mail. I assume this is from someone crossposting from News 24 but it is from someone called “The Last Contrarian”.

Her beady, bloodshot eyes twitch above the overly large tortoise-shell spectacles magnifying the stress creases under her eyes. Ash, an inch long, precariously clings to the tip of the misshapen cigarette mercilessly pinned between the index and middle fingers of her left hand; in her right hand, the undiluted contents of the whiskey glass are manipulatively swirled about. She has on a unisex bathrobe-esque coat and only ever wears flat-soled shoes. Her ears are unpierced, she wears no makeup, and her armpits, legs (and assumedly other regions) are deliberately unshaved in rebellion.

I don’t think that many feminists smoke any more. I mean the “feminist smoker” trope is a really really old one because at the time it was marketted as the hallmark of a feminist movement when in reality it was seen as a way to get 50% of the people who did not smoke to smoke. A lot of the names like “Virginia Slims” were named after this since at the time cigarettes were marketted at a lot of women.

If she will ever admit to having had sex with a member of the opposite sex, it will only be of the unsatisfying kind. She’s the type that proudly admits faking her orgasms and having switched to sleeping with equally ‘appealing’ women to escape the perversion of men.

Ah yes. The “Feminists Hate Men” trope. It’s there in it’s glorious final form! Unsatisfying Sex, Faux Orgasms and Lesbianism as a symbol of radical feminism rather than say “as a product of fancying women”.

She hates children and actively instructs ‘breeders’ (a feminist term for other women who dare to have children) how to raise their male offspring (not boys, she is beyond such cute terms for anything male) to be totally subservient to the feminine erraticism that comes from a life spent controlling, manipulating, over achieving, scheming, and stressing out because of it all.

Funny. All the feminists I know are pretty decent with kids. And I have never heard anyone use the term “breeder” in this context. Maybe it’s a radfem term but this is specifically about Feminists in Atheism but to date not one feminist I am familiar with has used the term breeder except sarcastically.

I kind of like the notion that women are stressed because they cannot wrap their pretty little heads around “the big stresses of the big bad world”. And isn’t that basically what we men do? I mean majority of politicians are men. We don’t live in a world bereft of men trying to achieve things. Again we go back to politics for scheming. As for stress?

Men are more likely to commit suicide due to the stresses of modern day life. Ironically women not sitting at home and competing in the workforce  has reduced the stresses on men to always hold down a job at all costs.

She is a parody of sorts and deeply convinced that she has something important to say to society, but nobody cares to hear it anymore. This fuels her indifference and spite towards people in general and men in particular.

Yes. What you have described is the “TV Feminist” who will burn her bras only as kindling to burn a man  with. That’s a card carrying villain trope. The Manhater.

This is the modern image of a feminist, and her entire demeanor testifies to her lifelong struggle against all things phallic. She would choke to death her own father, if only the bastard hadn’t died when she was ten. She would ground up her own sons and feed them to her all-female pack of dogs, if only she could bare the act of having sex with a man!

I  find that many feminists have good relationships with their families. Oh and nice one on the “daddy issues” jibe. I like how the two alternatives to the “Anti-Female” stance on daddy issues entails either deep hatred of men (possibly due to abandonment as a child) or the urge to take your pants off and gyrate around a pole.

And no reference to sperm banks? I am shocked! The quality of crazy bastard who writes in these days is plummeting. Kindly send better ones!

This fictitious but all too common character may or may not be an atheist, but I bet she is a precursor of what we can expect fundamentalist atheism to look like in the coming decades.

Yes, because Greta Christina is such a prude.

Fundamentalist Atheism? You mean where we really don’t believe there is no god as opposed to the wishy washy sort of belief that there is no god?

Atheism is getting evermore desperate to stick it to religion and be as insulting to the religious as they are to atheists. Just like feminism, atheism’s inner conviction may become its outer complexion if left untreated.

And I assume it is treated with lots and lots of dick right? Or let me guess? By not letting women speak? Or only allowing women who don’t mind their arses grabbed to speak?

Our species is very eager to pursue causes that promote equality, but we are never satisfied when that equality is finally attained. When revolutionary movements finally win, the victory of finally being considered equal is just the start. Revenge soon becomes the long-term goal. I see the signs of this in countries like America and the UK. Undoubtedly, this will spread as these countries influence most of the civilized world.

I for instance cannot go anywhere without a chastity belt and must carry women on my shoulders at all times. In addition I cannot use gendered pronouns and may only perform medicine through a sheet if it is a woman. I also spend all my time in jail because as a man I must have raped someone….

What about the rest of you guys? Are you ready to throw away the shackles of female oppression? Are you going to burn your posing pouches and boxer briefs?  Will we freeball our way to freedom?

Must we fight for more representation in public life? Must we tell women that our bodies are not just for sex? Must we fight against the media perception that all men  are 6ft 2 made out of muscles or are skinny waifs with great hair and unfeasibly tight trousers? How many interviews must I unbutton “one more shirt buttton” to get?

The age of reason has not yet washed our species of its primate origins and temperament. Look at society if you think I am lying. For the most part, groups, crowds, businesses, movements, political parties, and even whole countries are the mirror image of what you seen in more primitive primate societies: One angry male leads the troop. Beneath him, the layer of suck-ups wait for their time to challenge for leadership, and then below this ambitious lot sit the gatherers who just want someone to impart a sense of order and schedule to their lives.

I for one am thoroughly impressed by the Chimpanzee Space Program.

There is a reason we don’t use this method of organisation. It’s awfully hard to get anything done when you are too busy trying to bring down the guy above you while simultaneously tap dancing on the fingers of the guys below you. Unstable societies where the “man at the top” changes every few years due to bloody coup are not productive. Neither are societies where one man holds the top spot for better or worse. Which is why we have “democracy”. It’s also why we look down upon dead man’s shoes as a method of progression.

As someone who always challenges my preconceptions, I am aware of the many traps of ‘reason’ that someone who claims to be a rationalist can fall into. I am only certain of one thing, that certainty is something I’ll always have in scarce quantities. The more I learn the more it seems I have to learn to make sense of what I’ve already learned. The path of knowledge is rarely one of absolute conviction; more often, it is a dimly lit road, rough and uneven, filled with potholes ready to twist the ankle of hasty wanderers who don’t have time for caution.

Which has bugger all to do with “feminism” or “atheism”. That’s like saying that learning about science is difficult, so I am going to believe in whatever nonsense springs to mind.

Every day I have to fight the primate in me that wishes to bare its teeth at rivals and return to a life on all fours. No person can ever truly cage the ape within, and the greatest struggle we face within ourselves results from the part of us that is human clashing with the part of us that is chimp.

Beware the inner baboon you distracted buffoons!

I don’t seem to have this urge. I assume it’s PZ Myers and his feminist  lackeys dosing my tea with bromide…

14 comments

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  1. 1
    Rey Fox

    This is the modern image of a feminist

    No, that’s the 1976 image of a feminist. Feminists today are all about strutting around naked in the town square. Where’s this guy been?

    *reads the rest* Wanking, I guess.

  2. 2
    Al Dente

    The Last Contrarian is arguing with the straw feminist who exists solely in his imagination.

  3. 3
    CaitieCat, in no way a robot nosireebot

    Wow, what a boatload of bullshit that is.

    How does one swirl whiskey “manipulatively” in a glass?

    “Breeder” is a term from queer culture, not feminist culture. It was used as a pejorative for a while in the 90s, before it became apparent (as more people came out) that queerfolk were happily breeding too. I’ve never seen it used by a feminist, but plenty of times by queerfolk.

    As to hating men, that’s just idiotic. Feminists are the ones who believe that men are, just as women, civilized sapients equally capable of base villainy and high heroics. We believe men aren’t incapable of not raping people. We believe men can learn not to be violent to their partners, or anyone else. The unthinking acceptance of men’s innate awfulness is not a feminist trait. We’re not idiots. If we believed that men were incapable of change, we’d be advocating for separatism, not for greater equality.

    She is a parody of sorts and deeply convinced that she has something important to say to society, but nobody cares to hear it anymore.

    Right, because I, for one, pine for those lost days when feminists were carefully attended to by society in general, and sports cars grew on trees carefully tended by Oompa Loompas under a brilliant mauve sky.

    Or, y’know, something that actually happened.

    This fictitious but all too common character…

    Yes, now that’s some quality logic there. The character is fictitious, and also totally common in reality.

    Our species is very eager to pursue causes that promote equality, but we are never satisfied when that equality is finally attained. When revolutionary movements finally win, the victory of finally being considered equal is just the start. Revenge soon becomes the long-term goal.

    Um, nonperianal citation needed. This dude’s projecting harder than an IMAX. Dude: just because you fantasize about the revenge you’d take if you got control (because, as we know so well, women basically run the world, what with our fantastically high percentage of government members and chief executives and heads of state and all), doesn’t mean that everyone is a fucking sociopath like you.

    As someone who always challenges my preconceptions

    Oh, dude, ci-fucking-tation-needed. Or did you mean “cuddles tightly with” rather than “challenges”? I know those words are so similar in meaning and all.

    Every day I have to fight the primate in me that wishes to bare its teeth at rivals and return to a life on all fours.

    So…remind me again, who is it that hates men here? The people who believe they can be part of a productive, more equal society, or the guy who insists that men are basically savage beasts barely held in check by their outsized egos?

    Nice fisk, Avi. You’re right, though, better quality trolls are definitely needed. This was just sad.

  4. 4
    CaitieCat, in no way a robot nosireebot

    Oh, yeah, and “The Last Contrarian”? Seriously, you view yourself as a superhero of calling out society’s faults, and your proof is how much you hate feminism?

    Wow. How do you manage to hold such a contrarian and risky perspective, while the Feminazi Fraustapo are roaming the streets looking for brave heroes to castrate with a cigar cutter, laughing evilly?

    I’m always impressed with the huge bravery of those rare doughy doughty men who can bring themselves to criticize feminism and feminists in public, with our massive political power and well-known propensity to violence and all.

  5. 5
    Xanthë, Amy of my threads

    So much straw in this e-mail, it wouldn’t be too fanciful to predict a worldwide shortage because of it. What a pity that there’s apparently no limit to straw argumentation, unlike the real article.

  6. 6
    B-Lar

    Fucking pre-suppositional onanists giving honest contrarians a bad name.

    YOU ARE NOT BRAVE AND YOU ARE NOT A HERO.

  7. 7
    angharad

    I like “deliberately unshaved in rebellion”. Does that mean it’s ok if you’re deliberately unshaved because you prefer it that way? Or only ok if you’re accidentally unshaved because you forgot or something? What if you’re unshaved because you’re lazy? Dammit, Last Contrarian, I need to know if I am a feminazi or not…

  8. 8
    Michael Brew

    It drives me up the wall when people take the basic principle of skepticism and use it to justify believing anything because they think not being 100% sure of anything means that every position must be equally valid.

  9. 9
    Raging Bee

    She is a parody of sorts…

    Yeah, the sort that doesn’t really exist.

    How does one swirl whiskey “manipulatively” in a glass?

    I think this guy was saying that, as much as he pretends to loathe this horiffic stereotype, he still can’t help being filled with desire for her when he sees how she swirls whiskey in a glass.

    This guy has HUGE issues. This email is an expression of nothing but a grinding, incoherent, downright pathetic closed mental loop.

  10. 10
    Nepenthe

    I bet she stole his ice cream.

  11. 11
    Raging Bee

    …then ate it seductively. I know that pisses off the Saudi Arabian religious police.

  12. 12
    CGM3

    Every day I have to fight the primate in me that wishes to bare its teeth at rivals and return to a life on all fours. No person can ever truly cage the ape within, and the greatest struggle we face within ourselves results from the part of us that is human clashing with the part of us that is chimp.

    Beware the inner baboon you distracted buffoons!

    On the bright side, it appears he accepts evolution… :-)

  13. 13
    hoary puccoon

    I’m still trying to get my head around the “fictitious but all too common character.” Is that like the guy in the beer commercial that they play over and over and OVER again on late night TV?

  14. 14
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