Hi firstly thanks for an interesting post, containing much info about life in Afghanistan that may be unknown , especially to us in the west. I would like to make some points.
We do know this is going on.
We chose to not read the voices of people who write about these things or we chose to plain forget. It pricks our eyes between bath and pre-lunch beers but since we have nothing in common we can scarcely imagine the kind of treatment that women in Afghanistan are exposed to.
Or indeed in India which was where my first “taste” of how stupid the MRA movement was. That rather than realise that there is a major problem, AVfM tried to white wash the issue. Indian men were behaving badly and Indian culture showed it’s ugly side. To fight back? Rather than say “You are right! This is bullshit! We must hold ourselves to a higher standard!”, we saw the complete opposite.
MRAs seem to have stumbled over each other to try and see how low they caan go.
These people have explicitly made a stupid stand in a fight that I am personally involved in. It’s not just the fact it’s a stupid argument being made by people who have more freedom in preventing others from gaining the same but it’s also an unwilllingness to realise just HOW MUCH freedom people really have. These are my patients we are discussing.
Girl Who Writes is just another one in this long line of idiot voices.
1. GWW is bisexual and currently living with a man. She has a few children (daughters I think). I know this because I watched several, but by no means all of her videos.
2. Her politics tend to be of the libertarian flavor although she does not identify as a libertarian. She has no love for authoritarianism! (This is in response to comment no 3 above). Another commentator seems to believe the is a Christian. I have seen no evidence for that, but I may have missed it. I hope this isn’t just an attempt to slur?
Yet here she is defending a system under the guise of “talking to an expert” who literally has given information that flies in the face of all known convention.
3. She often takes the devil’s advocate position and points out issues that effect men which are constantly suppressed by Feminists. I, like her see Feminists as a special interest group with no care for men’s issues. That is fine by me, I am egalitarian and Women are usually in the best place to point out where they have issues in society, so that society can adjust as needed. (Please though, don’t tell me to shut up and listen…that ain’t ever gonna work..)
There is Devil’s Advocacy and there is Taliban Supporting. This was the latter.
Women are not suppressing men in Afghanistan mate, women have absolutely no power. They had even less power before. Most of what they have is due to the fragile peace and the presence of the eyes of the world. She did not point out issues that affect men.
If she did then she would be demanding we disarm Afghanistan due to the constant feudal violence and do something about the addition rates in men to heroin there.
Instead we see her just bashing women and claiming that women getting jobs will somehow take them away from men (wrong) and the same thing for education (wrong) and that women have it easy since they get to stay at home.
Her echo chamber comes up with plenty of LadyMRA showing up including the aforementioned Judgybitch who forgets that women in Afghanistan are virtual prisoners in their own homes. To defend this she throws up a Islamic apologist who conveniently forgets all the bits about violence towards women to “discipline” them.
This is ignoring the terrible plight of women in Afghanistan and the empirical statistics. Afghanistan is THE worst place in the world to be a woman. To claim that somehow women have it good there is fucking nonsense.
It’s simple. GWW would not have had the opportunity to make such an insane comment had she been in Afghanistan.
4. People like GWW Johntheother and others feel the need to point out that men have some grievances in their communities. That’s fine by me also. I am not an MRA and have very occasionally read AVFM. I personally think Paul Elam is an odious creep.
Men have problems too.
However we didn’t see GWW go “We should try and get better care for Afghani men facing addiction to drugs” and instead we saw her go “LOL women have it easy in Afghanistan! Ignore all reality! Massage MRA Ego”. Did you even read the comments? Not one person had the decency to say “I think you are wrong. You are harming women in Afghanistan solely to make a point and score acceptance by reducing the apparent severity of the plight of women in Afghanistan and downplaying the seriousness so that you can make it seem like women embellished the reality.
5. GWW does not defend the Taliban. That’s just silly. She points out that the regime is absolutely terrible for most men under those rules, and more dangerous than for women. Men have more freedom than women but also increased risks. Strangely, the average Feminist commentator doesn’t mention this. I notice that you note the issue of male sexual abuse victims. Well done for that. It’s quite unusual for a Feminist blogger.
And the Taliban kept stats? Are you seriously trying to make this argument? An argument I pointed out was fucking stupid?
Until the fall of the Taliban women had a lower life expectancy than men in Afghanistan. The ONLY reason it has risen now is the improvement of midwifery in Afghanistan dropping the maternal mortality rate and providing women with control over reproduction that doesn’t fucking kill them and also the provision of actual healthcare facilities aimed at them.
This is without all the women who just “die” in the countryside to honour crime and the like.
And I am sorry? Would you fucking trade with an Afghani woman? I repeat. A system of life where you have absolutely no agency. No rights. You are property. You don’t have a childhood. You don’t have an education. You don’t have a future. You cannot even go outside on your own. You still have to do work around the house without any of the time saving devices that the modern housewife relies on to make her life simpler. You have no choice in when and where you have your babies, instead you will have them as soon and as many as possible. Chances are you will be a child bride and this means child birth will take place around 14 to 15 years of age which means an increased mortality rate. You are more likely to die giving birth.
But you are safe. No man will shoot you. No. Bullets are expensive. You get knifed. Or stoned. Or strangled. If you are lucky that is.
If you are unlucky? There is always scarring and mutilation. Acid and blade. You may not be photogenic enough for TIme Magazine to get you a nice new face.
You are property. You have no more rights than my medical textbook. If I chose to write my name on my book it has no more say in the matter than you would if you were a woman in Afghanistan.
Now things are changing for the better. But there are women and a lot of them who still live like this.
No man would trade for that. Not even an Afghan one.
What is this marvellous thing that no man wants any part of!
6. GWW and others sometimes point out those occasions where Feminist organizations have been seen to clearly misinform, fiddle statistics or deny some men’s issues exist altogether. Trying to get a Feminist to admit that a significant proportion of domestic violence in the west is “women on men” is like pulling teeth, even as more and more studies come out and more and more men overcome the stigma and report these incidents to the police.
Which has nothing to do with the price of Fish.
And even if we are to accept that the the report rate of men is a sixth that of the women we have to remember that the severity of domestic violence is higher against women.
And I Repeat. MRA have done precious little to help the men they claim to represent. All I see is handwringing and finger pointing and slut shaming.
You cannot excuse the claims that Girl Who Writes made by pointing out that she has done many great things for men by pointing out that men are subject to assault too.
That’s like saying “well! Avicenna does help people in India. So he is totally allowed to beat homeless people while dress in long johns and wearing a bowler hat and a cane while roaming around in a Thatcherian dystopia.
There are a variety of “battles” to fight and if anything MRA would probably get along well with feminists IF they were genuine about what they wanted.
Instead we see that MRA are more interested in being bitter. Their association with the Pick Up Artist community and MGTOW and other distasteful parts of the Internet is just the icing on the cake.
7. AVFM and the MRM has it’s fair share of crackpots as far as I can see, some of whom are misogynistic. Lets not forget though, that there are some people who identify as Feminist who wish to see the mass extermination of men on a global scale! We have to sort the wheat from the chaff (spelling?) so to speak.
You mean Radfems? They are a tiny tiny minority. And most aren’t “liked”.
And they don’t have any influence in society. Their views are not the mainstream.
The views repeated by AVfM were the same as those repeated by the politicians of India. Who quickly had to eat humble pie.
The views repeated by Judgybitch were the same as those of the people of Steubenville who orchestrated a campaign of harassment at the people who wanted justice and who defended two young men not because they didn’t rape anyone but because they wanted their football team to win.
And lastly we just saw GWW defend a malicious ethic of misogyny that is pervasive not just in Afghanistan but in Pakistan and across the Muslim world.
If we are to get rid of those who are chaff then I am afraid your movement is very short handed.
8. You state that modern society needs both parents to work if it is to succeed. Children clearly benefit from having extra time with one or both parents. As long as men and women are treated equally by the law, there is absolutely nothing wrong with one of the parents staying home to care for the children. ( I use the example of straight men-woman relationships. For same sex couples, they are by default equally able to decide which one of them might stay home. Single parents don’t get to make the choice, of course unless they live in a society with a generous welfare system.)
Except this is Afghanistan we are talking about. Women don’t have the freedom to make this choice to stay at home. And while I am sure your LadyMRA will make some argument along the lines of “monetary decisions and economics forced us to stay at home”, I am pretty sure that monetary decisions and economics aren’t forcing you to remain ignorant and beating you if you don’t get food on the table in time or killing you if you so much as look at another man or seem to have fun.
None of what I wrote above should be interpreted as me not caring about women’s rights, it’s just that women’s rights are not the only rights that matter.
In this case, more has been done to protect men’s rights than women’s in Afghanistan.
And I repeat. GWW did not try and make a case for men’s rights. She tried to make a case for NOT giving women rights.
There is a difference.