I have generally stayed out of the whole anti-FTB malarky unless it lands on my door. For those who are unaware? There are a sizeable group of people on Reddit and a forum called the Slymepit who actively dislike pretty much anything Freethought Blogs does.
On Reddit this manifests as “guaranteed downvotes” to any posts that are hosted here.
This has manifest in some very bizarre posts. I had my “Stand on the street and provide healthcare for protesters during the Indian Rape Riot” reports downvoted into oblivion. Just a few days ago Rock Beyond Belief had a post about why DOMA needs to be repealed and what it meant to a soldier with a same sex partner who served. Also down voted.
Why? Well either r/atheism’s “protest” by down voting blog content is so “principled” that it is willing to stick to the notion that blog posts are less important than memes even when down voting actual useful content from people such as Rock Beyond Belief or it just doesn’t like the platform.
TIme and time again I have been told that I only blog for the money (All $1.5 to $2 a day) or that I am some sort of feminazi ruining atheism by my actions (If anything I would have thought people would be happy to have me represent atheism).
And so with that we come to some hate mail.
You call yourself a feminist but what you are is a beta male. You have to kiss up to women to make yourself seem better. You are short, weak and ugly.
Just ugly! One out of three ain’t bad.
Firstly? I think the concept of this mythical “Alpha/Beta” mail dichotomy is stupid. This only works if you think stereotypes matter or mean anything. That if you fit into this arbitrarily determined mould then you will achieve success. And a lot of this seems to stem from a lack of understanding as to why women like men.
It’s not because there is a deep seated uncontrolled physiological response from women to these men, but because these men are attractive to women due to social pressure.
Let’s start with me. Your statement is categorically incorrect. I am a shade under 5 ft 11 (177 cm) and while overweight I am trying to diet. In fact I was planning to make a statement of intent online when I read your charming e-mail. As for weak? I don’t work out. And work kind of gives me repetitive strain injury and carpal tunnel. However, we don’t live in a world where strength is determined by muscles or by how much grain I can lift and how hard I can drive a spear in order to turn a deer into a kebab. I think strength is doing what you believe in and what’s right. To make the difficult and necessary choices and stand by it.
I don’t have to pick up a 100 Kg dead lift (that’s a thing right?) to be strong. As for being ugly? Maybe. I have poor self esteem. I slowly have been wrestling with unsupportive parents and have slowly realised that they are more interested in their “image” than in my happiness. I have for ages lived under the conclusion that I am not attractive and am honestly still genuinely surprised when people tell me I am not.
And if all I am to you is short, weak and ugly then let that be the case. That would be like describing Stephen Hawkings as disabled, weird and weak. If all that matters to you is physical appearance rather than what people are capable of doing then you will never value anything about a person that makes them human. You value humans like you value dolls. Unmoving creatures to fit into boxes.
How can you be a feminist when all they see is an ally to give their hatred of real men legitimacy?
Because I subscribe to the radical notion that women are equal to men and should be treated as such and that a variety of ailments of society exist due to the entrenched social differences between men and women. The majority of which negatively affect women and some of which affect men.
They are entirely happy to gang up on and tear down the weakest, most beta, socially insecure men — but they were incapable of directing their “empowered rage” towards men who actually have the power and privilege they hate so much, and actually have an influence on the world around them.You are just another victim in a box, a scapegoat to hold up when you say something wrong and they are displeased with you..
I don’t have much of an influence on the world around me. On a grand scale of things the people I work with aren’t rich or powerful. I don’t live in a limelight. Even now I am astounded that so many people want to read what I write and the messages of support for me and Tiga (and Piano Black! She got her first message of support).
But I never sought power or privilege or influence. I don’t have legions of minions who do my bidding. Most people have never met me in real life. I don’t attend conferences and I rarely even show my “face” online on the Google Hangouts that Ed Brayton does (Want an invite? Add me on google plus and hopefully invite you when we sit around and be weird).
Good looking, physically fit man with a high power job and large income who treats women like candy and walks around high on his own sense of entitlement? Feminists swoon over him, but never attack. I bet your girlfriend keeps you around just to show you off. I bet the only reason you dated her was that you had to cock block some better man.
I am lucky to have met someone as wonderful as Tiga. I know sometimes I put my foot in my mouth or fuck up but she has stood by me unquestioningly. The amount of support I have had from her with regards to my parents has given me the strength to fight them openly.
I am not hiding Tiga from them. They can say no all they want and threaten me, but Tiga is mine and she makes me happy.
So what if I am scarred, bald, tubby and currently lacking a job? I will be a doctor. I can lose weight. I think the scars remind of things I have done. Things I am proud of doing. I was willing to risk my life to get some of them and some of them are the price I paid that I would happily pay again to help someone.
Because I am more than scarred or bald or fat.
Damn straight she shows me off. The more I don’t buy into the fact that I am useless, the more I realise that I am awesome. I am smart, funny, caring and empathic. I don’t need to pretend to be a badass.
I am one. I am the real deal. I run towards natural disasters, I bet you run away from them. I have ploughed through Indian traffic to save lives and I have constructed spinal braces from my white coat. I have done medicine with nothing but knowledge.
Nothing can or will stop me from being a doctor.
Maybe I cockblocked someone better than me. But that’s your definition of better. You see, your “man” is only better in your eyes because you think he gets a lot of women. But then you have to think this through. Firstly? What sort of person would be attracted to that? And secondly? What sort of woman would stay attracted to that?
I probably won’t get a lot of women. I don’t need to though, I already have one who I love.
Fat, ugly and insecure men with social anxiety disorders like yourself and other betas like JT or PZ or Jason and no meaningful prospects for career (lol Blogger! You had to beg for money) or romance who is living in his mom’s basement and slowly committing suicide by cake? Vicious Patriarch! Burn him! Lol, I bet that “Pretty Lady” of yours only keeps you around because she is too fat, and ugly to get a real man. You don’t even have a job. Yeah I have seen the pictures. Your parents are right.
A word here. I assume this is mail in response to JT Eberhard (from WWJTD). Now JT is an “Internet Friend”. I am a big fan of his work and in particular his skepticon speech about fighting anorexia. Now for those who are unaware “Male Anorexia” is a new rising disorder. With the advent of photoshop and the super model, thin has become sexy. Women are regularly made to look “impossible” and men are too. This has created a rise in eating disorders.
Which have a stigma associated with them. Especially in men since anorexia is considered by many to be a woman’s disease. To many people, JT may as well have told them that he suffers from dysfunctional uterine bleeding. For a long time there was little support given to such people.
JT’s speech at Skepticon is possibly one of the most heart wrenching stories about this because it comes from a personal place. It’s not the same as my reports which are second hand. JT is the real deal and it took a lot of courage and strength to stand up and do what he did. And it was my first post of his.
I don’t know about PZ Myers or Jason Thibeault, but I suffer from PTSD. It’s my T-Rex on a chain to control. Mine was related to warfare and injuries sustained as a child. It manifests itself in depressive bouts, rage (it’s self destructive) and in an irrational fear of explosions. I have had to condition myself to (remember this was before PTSD was treated the way it is today) to deal with explosions. Now you may say “what explodes in modern life”.
I am terrified of balloons. Just watching someone play with one makes me feel scared. This is fucking torture.I cannot enjoy fireworks. To me Guy Fawkes Night, Diwali and New Year’s Day were days I had to hide. I used to leave early during football matches because sometimes the stadium would have fireworks. I still jump if fireworks go off and I am not “prepared”.
Last year I played Diwali for the first time. I lit and set off fireworks and explosions. I willingly did it. For me it was a turning point.
The only reason I did it was because of Tiga. Because I want to go out with her one day on New Years day and watch them. Because she was happy to give up that bit of pleasure in her life to be with me and so I am willing to face down what I fear the most. Medicine and Tiga are the two things in my life I love the most and Tiga helped rekindle a lot of what I am. I am incredibly luck to have her in my life. And as of now, I can only see her in my life.
For you to belittle what I have done is just the actions of a dick. To do the same to JT is just horrific. Anorexia kills. Anorexia “fucking sucks”. I would rather fight my PTSD induced by pain and death and trauma than to face what he does.
It’s moving and long.
They pick on losers and the weak in order to feel like they are attacking patriarchy and because you won’t say no. You are too grateful. You are too scared, too weak, too useless to do anything else but date that fat bitch.
We aren’t weak. No.
We are strong. Stronger than you. We were dealt a shitty hand and we still made it work. My history is one of blood and pain and from that I became the man I am today. A man who I am proud to be. The only thing I wished I could change is if I had a bit more hair and was in better shape. I could have given up and no one would have said anything. I did not.
Neither did JT. We are stronger than you. We wrestled with ourselves, we wrestled with the monsters in our heads and we beat them. We won.
No one who does that is weak. It’s why it gives me hope that other people can do what I did. I am nothing special in this regard. I feel that if we gave every person the kind of support that I had or wished I had then more people would be able to face their monsters.
And if you think you can scare me after I beat THAT. After I lived through war. I was a refugee. What could possibly scare me? There isn’t much left on the planet that could. A fear of explosions is a natural one if you know what a landmine looks like and have seen what it does. It is YOU who don’t fear them that are the weird ones. What sort of lunatic watches explosions for fun?
You cannot beat me. You will not beat me. You Will Lose.
But this is just window dressing here.
No What Pisses Me Off Is You Dragging Tiga Into This.
You dislike me? Keep it to me.
You insult her because of her weight to get to me? What a horrid person.
You have repeatedly demonstrated a shallowness of thought and action that dictates what a person is on the way they look. You have made repeated statements placing inordinate value on personal aesthetic choices. All you have tried to do is cause harm and spread hate.
You are an embarrassment to the atheist community. You are precisely the sort of people that keep Indian atheists out of the greater community through your harassment tactics.
Tiga is beautiful. To me she is the most beautiful person in the world (Sorry PZ Myers, first my mancrush on JT and next this bombshell). I cannot see myself with anyone else. At a time when I was depressed she came into my life and even though we are half a world apart, I always know that she is there for me. You may not think she is beautiful. That’s fine. That’s your opinion and from what we have realised is that your opinion isn’t worth the oxygen it wastes. She saw me at my worst and still loves me.
You are doomed to this shallow existence. You probably won’t grasp what I have written or even heed this warning. To you it may just be bluster.
One day there will be no one left to tolerate you. The little goodwill you have will be lost. You will be lonely. Your “glory days” where women threw themselves at you because “you were alpha” will mean nothing. You will be left alone. And by then it will be too late to learn how to be a decent human being. You will be alone because everyone else will have grown up. The only people left for you will be your own little coven of shallow people. And all you can say is “everyone else sucks” because it’s never your fault. It will always be someone else’s fault for your loneliness because you cannot understand that it is you. After all you have such charming people skills.
I will have Tiga. And I am amazed constantly by the love and generosity shown by the people who read this and my fellow bloggers. I won’t be alone.
And worst of all? You hang out with those witches like Svan and Ophie and Rebecca. You are nothing but a penis in a jar to your bitch masters. I should have figured Peezus would hire you to be his echo chamber.
I am surprised you didn’t say “diversity hire”.
I have kept out of the “FTB/Slymepit” malarky mainly because it has never been personal. The few personal attacks made on me were quickly denounced.
However in light of this, I must ask. If there are people who can write this, then are not people like Stephanie Zvan, Ophelia Benson and Rebecca Watson (Incidentally? Never have spoken to her. Darling if you read this we must meet! I fear the ensuing meeting will cause a million MRA voices to cry out in terror and be suddenly silenced). What? No Jennifer McCreight? I am shocked! She is a founding member of the “Witches of FTB”.
Stephanie, Ophelia, Rebecca and others have faced down this kind of “treatment” for the past 2 years and a bit. The outrage you felt till now for me is the same that they feel. This is the sort of treatment that drove Jennifer from blogging. This is the sort of treatment we want GONE from the atheist community. Do you think the atheism community would be better if tosssers like this existed within our ranks? Do you think we should emulate even an iota of his behaviour? This is the sort of person operating on the anti-FTB side. Mindless, pointless and shallow hate.
The anchor around atheism as a unified movement and a community isn’t the people pointing out that people like this exist. The anchor is people like this. To blame “feminists” for this problem is like blaming the passenger of the car for pointing out that the hand break is still on. Rather than listen we condemn and complain and that encourages these idiots.
The fact that he thinks PZ Myers requires a tiny blog from a medical student as a “sycophant” of sorts just shows how idiotic his argument is. The man gets a million blog hits a month. His reader base is large and diverse.
Mine isn’t that size. I don’t prop anything up so much as faff about at the bottom of a gigantic pile of enormously talented bloggers confusing my its with it’s and generally being puzzled that people think my work is good.
So it pains me to say this.
There is nothing that this individual can contribute to the discussion at A Million Gods. His entire raison d’etre is the disruption of proceedings here. There is nothing of value he can bring to any conversation we may have. Maybe one day he may improve. Maybe one day he may reform. I am no Javert to say that reform is a discarded fantasy.
But for now he has managed to do what no one else has. Should this brave hero decide to post on this blog he will be banned.
Congratulations. You are a shit head.