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Jun 18 2013

Oh WND, some of your sponsors are amusing

Amusingly stupid and racist that is.

The Internet has a fascination with bacon. What’s not to like? Bacon is rather tasty and while baconnaise is an assault on all that is good about food bacon generally has been a force for good.

That is until bigots and racists got hold of it.

While poking around WND I found this.

Yes. It’s bacon infused ammunition. Why would you do that? Well? Because you are dicks. That’s why. Because in your tiny racist minds (And let’s face it. The makers of any product like this are identifying muslims based on stereotype and that stereotype is “Brown Person”) the only way to solve the problem of Islamic fundamentalism is to defile corpses.

I am ethnically Indian. I know my own heritage. I am probably descended from people who “sided” with the British during the war of 1857 where Hindu and Muslim soldiers refused to use cartridges that were “greased” (At the time all rifle greases came from living sources and that meant pork and beef fat). And I know many atheists would laugh at that. Considering how varied my eating habits are and how adventurous I am (I have consumed snake – okay, ants – quite nice/had seconds, and eaten dog) when it comes to food it’s a bit hypocritical to be mocking a group of people with dietary restrictions when most western audiences don’t eat a varied diet. So for a bunch of racists to sit there and mock the eating habits of another group of people is a tad hypocritcal.

PEACE THROUGH PORK!

In the fall of 2010, patriots from Idaho County, Idaho sat around a campfire enjoying an adult beverage. The discussion turned to concern and disgust that a mosque was being built at ground zero. Everyone in attendance agreed that freedom of religion is paramount for all peoples of Earth but this showed poor taste and had a sense of “rubbing our noses” into 9/11 tragedy. The discussion turned toward possible solutions to stop such a great insult.

By that logic no American should ever visit Vietnam, the Philippines the Middle East, Cambodia or Panama or Cuba or Italy or Germany or Somalia or any other place where they fafffed about killing hundreds if not thousands of people.

There are two arguments to make here.

1. There was no “Ground Zero Mosque” there was a community centre somewhat nearby. Are we to suggest there by a “No Muslim Zone” in fucking New York City? Seems fucking stupid to me.

2. It’s been more than 10 years since 9/11. At what time period does the statute of “No Muslims Near Ground Zero” expire?

I am sorry, when I do anything in life, I don’t have to sit around wondering what a bunch of racist “hillbillies” (And let’s face it, if there ever was a stereotype that these idiots fit into it’s “hillbilly”) think about my actions.

History of dealings with radical Islam from the days of Jefferson and the Barbary Pirates to actions of Gen. John J. “Black Jack” Pershing in the early 1900’s in the Philippines gave clarity to a modern day market solution-Jihawg Ammo. Our preference is peace first but if a fight is to be had we are determined and resolved to win. Thus came the beginning of the truest form of defensive ammunition ever created in history.

This is why I think Americans should learn unbiased history that is free from American Exceptionalism.

When I learnt “Colonial” and indeed “Indian” History I noticed one interesting thing. The war of 1857 and the brutality that ensued killed millions of Indians. Historically speaking the British are quite “Ashamed” of it. They are not happy with the way their ancestors behaved and part of that was the dissolution of the East India Trading Company. At the time the British public was gung ho about “the darkies getting shot” but the ensuing brutality sowed the seeds of the Indian National Congress. It created a Middle Class discontentment and India’s freedom movement became powered by the lower castes who suffered the most at the hands of both the Kings and Kshatriya who committed the atrocities on the Indian side on the Europeans and indeed “lower caste people” and by the ensuing backlash from the British army. The next “war” was not fought by people fighting for kings but Indians fighting for India. The next massacre was that off Jallianwallahbagh which effectively broke ANY moral high ground the British had post the reprisals of 1857 both at home and in India. The British recognised themselves as the “baddies” in rertrospect. And that’s a pretty “big” thing to do. It’s very hard to accept that you are wrong even historically.

General Pershing and the American Treatment of the Philippines is estimated to have killed millions. The pride which this website mentions his name is a specific reference to a rumour that the good general asked his men to cover bullets in pork fat so as to prevent Muslims from going to Paradise. It’s an urban legend. But one gleefully wheeled out whenever racists sit around thinking what to do about the Muslim (and sometimes Jewish) problem ™.

That somehow the mere utilisation of pork bullets will knock the fight out of Muslims rather than say “Cause Muslims To Get Fucking Madder and Justify the Jihad as a response to the Crusaderesque Language that the USA was churning out pre-Obama”.

A natural deterrent that prevents violence just by owning it but will strike fear into the hearts of those bent upon hate, violence and murder. Jihawg Ammo is certified “Haraam” or unclean. According to the belief system of the radical Islamist becoming “unclean” during Jihad will prevent their attaining entrance into heaven. Jihawg Ammo is a natural deterrent to radical and suicidal acts of violence.

Sigh. Being “Haraam” means that Muslims won’t buy the ammunition. The website is simply incorrect about being shot by “porky rounds”.

Whenever someone says “Radical Acts of Violence” I have to ask, are there orthodox acts of violence? Or are these acts of violence only done on skateboards?

I also must ask? How does this sort of ammunition stop a suicide bomber? Suicide bombers don’t have suspicious looking vests filled with dynamite draped conspicuously with a jaunty hat. Suicide bombers aren’t screaming “ALLAH U-AKBAR INFIDEL PIG DOGS” while charging towards you. Why? Because the entire point of a suicide bomb is that it’s a mobile guided bomb that looks like a civilian and no different from “any other person”. That’s why it is so deadly in urban areas where soldiers are surrounded by civilians.

Simply owning bullets that allegedly send Muslims to hell won’t “stop” them. What? Are you going to shoot the dead bodies with pork rounds?

Our Porcine Coating (Pattern Pending) is infused with the highest quality pork product made right here in America. Jihawg Ammo is produced in the great state of Idaho.

Patent Pending dears. It’s Patent Pending.

And no. Pork Product is not “highest quality” it’s “bits of pork even dogs won’t eat” and dogs eat shoes.

We at Jihawg Ammo hope you will stock up on Jihawg as a natural deterrent to the ever growing threat of radical Islam and Sharia Law. We, however, stress that the nullifying principle of our product is only effective if you are attacked by an Islamist in Jihad. Otherwise, our ammo functions just like any other ammunition so we obviously insist upon defensive use of our ammo only-not offensive.

Unless you live in Florida where Stand Your Ground makes this entire mess a lot more deadlier.

It’s an entire product designed to be as insulting to another group of people as possible and designed to prey on the fears of idiots who would rather read the fearmongering rants of right wing millionaires rather than realise that there are bigger problems in life than “Jihadis”.

I am sure a few “patriots” will read this and for them I have some advice.

No man who called himself a patriot turned out to be one. No “patriot” has said “I am a patriot”. The term patriot is given to you for your actions by your fellow countrymen. It is a term given to recognise your actions. Flag Waving and Blind faith are the anathema of patriotism. Want to know something funny? Bradley Manning is probably more patriotic than “you”. That’s right. The man who tried to stick to the principles on which the USA is founded on is more Patriotic than the people who waved flags while the US Government took away freedom and waged war for the profit of the few.

That’s patriotism. Not waving a flag and being racist. A patriot is someone we can be proud of, not someone who we have to hide in the garden shed lest he insult someone.

3 comments

  1. 1
    Emu Sam

    I could believe “pattern pending” is a way to lie about having a patent pending without actually applying for a patent, but it’s relatively simple and inexpensive, almost always granted, and creates a technological monopoly for the applicant. What tech? Well, obviously, new and improved bullet-meat psychological warfare tech.

    Why do people want to go out of their way to humiliate fellow people, to no good purpose?

  2. 2
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    It’s “pattern pending” because they can’t decide whether to coat the ammunition with a pattern of stars and stripes, or with a repeated cross motif.

  3. 3
    kevinalexander

    I pretty sure these good ol’ boys haven’t thought this through. They can’t believe that pork bullets will keep a Jihadi out of paradise without tacitly admitting that porkless ones will allow them in. And they can’t do that without also admitting that Paradise is real. and they can’t do that without admitting……what?
    Some Islamic news service is going to pick this up. The headline will read:
    Crusader Shitheads Admit ‘There Is No God But Allah’

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