I haven’t been posting over the past few days because I didn’t feel like writing.
Well I felt like writing, it was just that I had no idea as to what to write.
You see, I spend most of my time online fighting against people, movements and things I consider as stupid and harmful. But all that while I completely forgot something.
That the people who say the worst things are often your own family.
I introduced Tiga to my family. And it blew up in my face. They smiled and nodded to her.
And when she left, they called me and told me to break up with her.
Because she was too fat, too dark, too short and “too ugly”.
I won’t lie here. Neither of us are skinny, but neither is most of the world. My mum is on a personal vendetta against “fat people” and I am one of them. Now, my parents speak like this about me “all the time”, so to hear it about someone else is agony.
Too dark? Why does that even matter? Short? I am above average for Indian height, most people are short compared to me.
And ugly? She isn’t ugly.
I think she looks pretty.
And I got threatened to be cut off. In my last year of medical school, 6 months from my registration. This means “I don’t get to be a doctor”. It’s unlikely they will do this, because the shame of a “ugly” girlfriend is probably less than the shame of “Fucking Up Your Kid’s Education”.
They think I can do better.
And they are right. I can do better. If you utilise the same logic as my parents you can always find someone taller, fairer and prettier than the person you are with. But that’s not how we decide whether a relationship is “good” or “bad”. How two people get along and how they feel about each other is important than “she’s dark”.
Both my parents are doctors. If they said this at work they would lose their jobs.
It’s a shock.I was so used to seeing prejudice that I forgot my parents may be prejudiced. I was shocked, disappointed and now angry.
I was told all my life that I was ugly and the only things going for me are my height. I know people have discriminated against me because of the colour of my skin. I know people have discriminated against me.
So to hear it from people who probably have been discriminated themselves is just heartbreaking.