In Defence of Jim Carrey

I know I give the rubbery faced anti-vax kook a lot of grief for his beliefs, but this that’s because he deserves it for that.

But Ted “Yosemite Sam” Nugent is an idiot.

Dear America. Before we start. The correct argument for using guns is “Guns are Cool”. Not that guns somehow reduce your murder rate or your suicide rate or magically overthrow governments… But they are COOL. You get to go somewhere and fire them off and feel a little bit neandrathal about yourself. Well done.

However the problem is when your spokesmen for guns shouldn’t be allowed ANYWHERE NEAR ONE. It’s a sad fucking day when Jim Carrey comes off as saner than you. The man thinks the human body functions by magic! You would have to set the limbo bar pretty fucking low to out crazy him.

But Nugent if nothing manages to limbo under the bar of all good taste.

Welcome to the party, Mr. Carrey.

You’ve got every right to lampoon whomever you want, including one of mankind’s greatest and most courageous civil rights hero-warriors of all times, the deceased Charlton Heston.

This line had me in stitches for the unintentional comedy. Either Nugent is sarcastic as a Glaswegian after you asked him if it was cold outside, or is an uneducated bumpkin.

Dear Nugent.

You need to realise what courage means and how people have done courageous things.

Sometimes they didn’t even hold a gun while doing so. And you seem to be confusing actors with courageous people so I am going to give you a hint. The above men are actors who portray men who did courageous things and fought for civil rights. Some of these men faced death and pain and imprisonment for their cause.

Charlton Heston lived in a mansion and ranted about guns like an imbecile.

However, when you dip your toe into the raging whitewater rapids of the culture war, be prepared for the consequences.

If you miss with the bull you get the horns?

Since when is Ted Nugent considered a power house of witty conversation and sharp banter?

Irreverent humor provides me enormous quality of life, and as a big fan of Lenny Bruce, Sam Kinison and Richard Pryor (especially when he was on fire), my outrage comedy meter is red-lined on a daily basis for all the right reasons. But poking fun at a deceased man who lived an honorable life in order to express your pathetic anti-gun ignorance was a cheap, soulless and cowardly shot.

All of you can only make fun of dead guys who I don’t like!

The facts, however interesting, appear to be lost on you, Michael Moore, Piers Morgan and others gagged by the curse of denial when it comes to the self-evident truth of the Second Amendment.

I can’t believe I have to agree with Piers Morgan…

Guns haven’t helped America at all. In fact the biggest problem with guns is that they haven’t reduced the murder rate and that the possession of a guns is more dangerous to yourself through it’s use in suicide.

The misidentified “assault weapons” and high-capacity magazines you despise and want to ban are rarely used in crimes. More people choke on Cheerios.

But when they are used in crimes the crimes get extremely deadly and why the hell do you even need these weapons unless you wish to hunt the most dangerous game of all.

According to the FBI, in 2011 there were roughly 12,600 murders in America. All rifles, including so-called assault weapons, accounted for 360 murders. Four times as many people were stabbed to death than were killed with rifles. Clearly you and your ilk are not being honest about wanting to save lives.

  1. According to the CDC there are 16,259 murders in the USA. With 11,000 murders or so in the USA caused by guns.
  2. And 19,000 suicides. 50% of all suicides are by guns of some sort.
  3. 2011 UK had 636 murders and a fifth of the population of USA. A total of 3,380 deaths if we adjust for population. Roughly a murder rate of 3.25
  4. The major difference here is the availability of guns of all sorts.

I mean this is an argument to not have any bloody guns let alone assault rifles.

You may have noticed by living in the Los Angeles area that the thugs who are killing each other on L.A.’s streets do not use so-called assault weapons.

Yes but they do use handguns which do kill a fuck tonne of people.

Banning certain firearms may make you feel good, but it will do nothing to reduce the violence on America’s streets or save any lives.

Yes it will.

The simple fact of the matter is that simple access to guns at home make the split decision to commit suicide a lot easier. Houses with access to guns have higher suicide rates and 50% of all deaths in the USA are due to guns. Many people straight up don’t commit suicide if it takes an effort to do so because at each stage of suicidal activity is a chance to back out. A gun however is an easy out and owners of guns are less likely to get the help they need before they kill themselves.

The banning of guns would reduce suicides straight up as well as crimes of passion where guns escalated simple confrontation to deaths.

I’m routinely asked why I need a so-called assault weapon. That’s easy: I want a dozen or so and don’t believe I need to justify my pursuit of a constitutionally guaranteed freedom to anyone.

Just because you have the freedom to do something, doesn’t make doing something a good idea.

These utilitarian weapons are incredibly fun to shoot, standard competition arms, an excellent choice for self-defense and are superb big game hunting and varmint control instruments.

Self Defence? Against what? Banditos?

Everytime an American says “We Need Guns For Self Defence” you tell the world that your country has failed.

And seriously? You are running around with semi automatic rifles trying to hunt rabbits?

And then why do you neeed so many of them? Do you carry extras in case your first gun turns on you?

While so-called assault weapons may look like military guns, they are not military assault rifles. This rudimentary fact has been intentionally confused or ignored by people who want to ban these weapons.

Military weapons are often more utilitarian because they are designed to straight up kill baddies while your toy is designed to make you think you are one of the Wolverines from Red Dawn. They are designed to do a job, your toy is designed to be played with. It’s like a lawn dart. A dangerous toy pretending to give you security and safety and protecting your free speech.

The lack of an automatic fire option doesn’t actually make the assault rifle LESS deadly. At the hands of anyone with an ounce of common sense the major ability of an assault rifle is to fire 30 rounds vaguely accurately at what you want to hit rather than fire indiscriminately at stuff. The difference is an aimed bullet vs. a hail of suppressing fire.

So to correct Mr. Nugent.

The AR-15 is the civilian designation of the M-16. The M-16 being a type of the AR-15 made to meet a military spec. A quick check tells me that the M-16 has a 20 inch low profile barrel, a triangular guard and has a full automatic or a burst fire selection. The majority of AR-15s purchased are semi-automatic only but that’s because it’s less restricted than the full auto version and even the army rarely operate their rifles on full automatic.

The changes are MAINLY cosmetic.

Millions of Americans like me own the very weapons and high-capacity magazines you despise. Our guns and high-capacity magazines will never hurt anyone.

Until they do. Then they hurt a LOT of people in a very short amount of time.

And I am equally distasteful of your “itty bitty” handguns that fire soft point rounds that are designed to cause maximum fatalities.

That’s what makes gun owners and the NRA very suspicious of gun-grabbers like you and the president’s team. We know your focus is wrong and punishes millions of law-abiding Americans who have done nothing wrong. There’s nothing funny about that.

Plenty of funny things about it.

Guns killed some people so we need more guns to stop the guns we already have? Where do you think Criminals get guns? Most seem to be stolen or sold on from unscrupulous dealers. Law Abiding? My arse! You have created a society where guns are so plentiful that guns are available cheaply and easily for crimes created by America’s social and economic strategies.

And the availability of guns makes people think that the mere ownership of one makes them “safe” and therefore “crime is not anyone else’s problem” because “they have a gun”.

To believe that somehow banning a type of gun will make Americans safer from psychotics hell-bent on mass murder is bizzaro logic that does not pass the common-sense test.

Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.

But it helps a lot if you have a gun. It’s fucking hard to go on a rampage with a kitchen knife. Oh people have done it and it’s very sad. There was the poor young lass in the UK who got stabbed. There was the man in Canada who got beheaded. However had these people used guns, there would be a lot more dead victims.

Guns don’t kill people, it’s just that certain sound they make.

The warning signs couldn’t have been any bolder regarding the psychotic punk who killed those attending the movie in Colorado, the psycho who killed those kids and their teachers in Connecticut, or the bug-eyed psychotic who killed the people at Congresswoman Giffords’ event in Arizona.

Really? The warning signs were perfectly clear with George Martin either. A man who believed he was defending his neighbourhood. A man who believed that guns could protect him from violence. He believed the same things that millions of Americans did when he shot and killed a 17 year old child called Trayvon Martin.

We willfully chose to ignore these blatant warning signs and do nothing about them, except to ultimately blame the NRA.

We ignored the signs of the Walter Mittyesque lifestyle that George Martin tried to lead. We ignored his repeated harassment of individuals and his repeated calls to Emergency Services.

And yes. George Martin murdered a young kid and walked away simply because when he harassed and started a fight with an innocent young man he could claim he stood his ground.

The NRA sell a fantasy of gun use and the fetishisation of it’s use. Guns are manly, sexy and necessary to save you from the horde of thieves, murderers, rapists and zombies that lurk outside your doors. The biggest threat of owning a gun is to yourself. You are more likely to turn that gun on yourself. Hell after that you are most likely to turn it on the woman in your life if you are a man.

26% of women murdered were killed by a loved one. Just 3% of men murdered were killed by a spouse. Now men were more likely to be murdered than women but the domestic murder rate is clear. Women suffer the brunt of it. The mere presence of a gun increases the chance of a fight becoming deadly or a suicidal ideation becoming an attempt. And considering the lethality of guns the attempt usually succeeds.

Ignoring such glaring warning signs is analogous to seeing a coiled rattlesnake and choosing to step on it in hopes that it won’t bite. And then when it does strike, people such as yourself blame the boots you are wearing.

Such glaring warning signs? Your NRA friends tried to blame videogames and movies. Because Japan with it’s violent movies manages to not shoot anyone. The UK with the SAME movies as the USA doesn’t manage to shoot anyone. India with it’s movies and indeed it’s rather casual approach to violence (Seriously? Seen kids movies where people get shot through the head. Hell Indians took their kids to watch movies where people get hanged on screen. Indians don’t give a fuck about violence in TV) and they manage to have lower murder rates.

The fact of the matter is crystal clear. The USA’s murder rate is down to guns making it easy.

If you want to make America safer from these obvious psychotics, we need to get them off the streets and into secured facilities.

And is that your opinion as a gun owner who lives in a delusional world where Charlton Heston fought for civil rights more than Martin Luther King Jr.? A delusion is defined as a belief that is clearly and demonstrably incorrect. Or what about the fact that Mr. Nugent here is on record for making a threat against the President of the USA.

I fear that we should act on Mr. Nugent’s own advice and get him off the street and into secured facilities.

Or you know. Realise that the gun was the major culprit here in helping this person act out his fantasy.

In addition considering Nugent’s distaste for “Obamacare” he is actually requesting an expansion of government healthcare in power to hold anyone with beliefs that are demonstrably harmful.

Additionally, we need to slam shut the revolving door of our so-called criminal justice system that daily releases recidivistic violent thugs on America’s streets.

Instead we should lock em up forever! Because if three strikes and you are out doesn’t work we should just send everyone to the electric chair!

Them Saudis have it right eh? Off with their hands, their feet and their heads.

Off with their heads.

The facts are in: Gun control in America, just like in Canada and elsewhere,is an abject failure as a crime-control measure. We have over 20,000 local, state and national gun control laws in America. To think that passing another couple of laws or restrictions is going to somehow prevent another massacre and make America safe is pure folly.

Because it’s very very easy to get guns in the USA from perfectly legal sources. The guns being used on the streets are from perfectly legal sources. EIther purchased legally, or from stolen guns or from unscrupulous gun shop owners.

The NRA, of which I’m a proud lifer and Board of Director member, stands for freedom and will stand in the way of anti-freedom gun-grabbers who want to feel good but won’t accomplish anything to make America safer.

No. The NRA are like the kid that encourages you to run with scissors. They have repeatedly demonstrated that they are not representative of the gun owners of the USA and are honestly purveyors of a frankly stupid fantasy of gun use.

As ugly and demeaning as it was, I wholeheartedly support your First Amendment right to spew your anti-gun views and use the deceased Mr. Heston as your prop.

I also support the Second Amendment freedoms that millions of Americans enjoy. I have and will continue to vigorously support this constitutionally guaranteed freedom.

Constitutions can change. Remember the Americans changed the right to own people as property. In fact the very definition of “Amendment” means something got “Changed”.

It’s just sad to hear stuff like this. But then again? I saw another article on WND that made me laugh and maybe that’s the problem with right wingers in the USA. They live in this fantasy world where they want things to go wrong so as to be vindicated for their choices in life.


  1. CaitieCat says

    Avicenna, I think you mean George Zimmerman, rather than George Martin?

    In total agreement, btw. Coming from Britain to Canada, i was surprised by the number of guns. Then I went to the US…it’s just a very strange inability to recognize this fairly simple truth. And before the inevitable shouts, I am a former member of the military here in Canada, and a small arms instructor when I served. You couldn’t pay me enough to keep a gun in my home, and I don’t even want to live near someone with a weapon anywhere close to the capacity of the 7.62mm rifle we used to use, as I’m well aware that drywall is like tissue paper to it.

  2. CaitieCat says

    Or, I also can say I gained an idea of how much a bullet would hurt, from simple physics: I remember the first time i pulled the trigger on that FN without having it tucked in tight and well braced: the black eye, and the huge stock-shaped bruise on my shoulder joint from the serious kick.

    Physics says the rifle kicked me as hard as the bullet kicked the target, minus a bit of air resistance. Except, of course, that the kick is the energy, and the energy is applied to a smaller cross-section which is a lot of energy in a small bit of me and oh wow a bullet’s gonna hit a LOT harder than that OWWWWW.

    So no thanks. I’ll take my tyranny socialized, please.

  3. Ulysses says

    Shorter Nugent: I love guns because they’re cool (and they make me feel all manly).

  4. dobby says

    “The correct argument for using guns is “Guns are Cool”. Not that guns somehow reduce your murder rate or your suicide rate or magically overthrow governments… But they are COOL. You get to go somewhere and fire them off and feel a little bit neandrathal about yourself. Well done.”

    Have to agree with this. The gun nuts i know like guns because they are COOL, not for hunting or defense or the second amendment. They just like to shoot things, like overgrown children.

  5. Pierce R. Butler says

    … such glaring warning signs

    Such as “a dozen or so” assault weapons in the hands of a self-described madman? (No quotation marks necessary for that last word.)

  6. beerijuana says

    Six more days to April 12th, I wonder if Ted remembers?

    “…I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”
    ~ Ted Nugent 04/12/12

  7. hoary puccoon says

    My husband shot a pheasant when he was eight years old, and kept right on hunting for another half a century. And he despises semi-automatic weapons for hunting. According to him, all they are good for is filling hillsides full of toxic lead, and frightening the deer.

    If Nugent is talking about semi-automatics for hunting, he’s as much of a poseur as a hunter as he is as a patriot.

    (Oh, yeah. My husband also served in the US Army. As did my brother. Check out Nugent’s service record.)

  8. says

    When he speaks of Charlton Heston as a civil rights activists, he’s not necessarily talking about guns, but about his anti-segregation activism in the 1960s at considerable risk to his career. The man was nutty about his guns, but he wasn’t a conservative caricature.

  9. N. Nescio says

    “No. The NRA are like the kid that encourages you to run with scissors. They have repeatedly demonstrated that they are not representative of the gun owners of the USA and are honestly purveyors of a frankly stupid fantasy of gun use.”

    That’s why I turned in my membership card years ago. The Nuge doesn’t speak for me either. I guess I fit into the same category as hoary puccoon’s husband, because I don’t own any semi-auto battle rifles and have no desire to acquire one. I live in bear country, and I carry a revolver when I go out in the woods, because bears, cougars, and the occasional meth cook (I’ve stumbled across several non-operational sites, and only one active. Fortunately the methies weren’t paying attention while I got the hell out of there as fast as I could) don’t find reasoned argument and statistics convincing. Ever have a breeze send a little bear spray back in your face? To say that it sucks is an understatement, and I’m very glad that bear caught most of it or I probably wouldn’t be typing this right now.

  10. says

    In fact the biggest problem with guns is that they haven’t reduced the murder rate and that the possession of a guns is more dangerous to yourself through it’s use in suicide.

    It’s even worse than that. In the US, people who own guns are far more likely to be shot by someone else than people who don’t own guns, by a factor of several (references given in the link below). There are many reasons for that: guns escalate conflicts rather than defusing them, people with guns may be more likely to initiate conflicts, people who are more afraid of being shot are probably more likely to buy a gun. All other things being equal, adding more guns to a society does not make it safer; it leads to more people being shot.

  11. CaitieCat says

    For me, too, one of the considerations that had come to me was that there is strong Republican opposition to ending the War on (some) Drugs (used by some people), and that it aligns pretty neatly with the group who are opposed to gun control measures.

    I mean, how would the NRA keep selling guns to terrified gun owners without horrible heavily-armed drug gangs to mythologize and exaggerate (on top of their real costs in lives and money)? If the “War on Drugs” ends, the violence associated with the selling of the prohibited substance should go away, as shown in the US Prohibition experiment of the last century, simply because prices wouid come down a whole bunch. Prices down, it’s no longer nearly so much worth risking your life for it when the profit margin drops by a factor of ten or whatever it works out to be.

    It’s insidious, this stuff, how it intertwines with privatized incarceration and systemic bias in sentencing and convictions and leads to the present situation in the US, with by far the highest incarceration rate in the world, one of the few countries to even have the death penalty, let alone use it, a military bigger than the next few by budget alone…it used to be that Canada was the mouse sleeping next to the elephant, but it feels these days rather more like sleeping next to the laser-armed, Nazgul-supported, Oliphaunt with a nasty abcessed tooth and a mean disposition, and a Gollum-like habit of talking to itself.

    Also, if I lived where there were bears, i might keep a revolver too. Most of us, of course, do not live near bears. :)

  12. says

    @N. Nesico:

    As much as I can sympathize with not wanting to get a face full of capsicum (I’ve experienced enough aerosolized capsicin to know that I’d would not want to have experienced more), firearms are _not_ a better protection against bear attacks. Recommendations are for avoidance, understanding bear behavior, and use of bear spray when indicated. Firearm use leads to twice as many serious injuries. You may have already seen this or something similar, but I give a reference:

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