Urgh this is just terrible. Apparently it’s making the MRA rounds. I figured I should edit it to give better advice. If you got your own advice then go for it… I got a comments section for a reason (Hint!)
To My Son (hypothetical. I am not going to be a father)
1. One of the many perks of treating women as equal to you is that you do not have to pay for a date. Go dutch or pay for your own stuff. This is 2013, you don’t have to tilt at windmills for a woman to like you. She can do it herself. Sure you can hold her chair for her and take her coat but she probably has her own money and can pay her own way. If you are going steady then sure it’s a nice to treat her like this but honestly on a DATE it is a throwback to the days women had no money of their own.
2. Dear Son. A woman who knows what she wants and says what she means will not date you if you behave like an MRA. Trust me on that one. No woman goes out saying “You Know What I Want? I want to be with someone who will think all women are gold diggers who will accuse people of rape for “funsies”.
3. Dear Son, don’t have sex while drunk. It’s terrible for you. You won’t enjoy it. Sure, you may have a few drinks but don’t be wasted. Don’t have sex with people who are wasted either. Consent during sex is on a moment to moment basis and you know as well as I do that drunk people have terrible decision making skills. The entire “late night kebab” market functions on this basis. Stop Means Stop. If you are role playing then use a safe word, I like the traffic lights since it provides feedback (Red = Stop, Yellow = Hang on, don’t go further than this and Green = Stop Daydreaming and Floor It) as a safe word. Remember yes sometimes means no. A woman may say yes just to avoid confrontation. It is rape. If a woman needs “convincing” to have sex then it’s not “voluntary” it’s “bargaining”. And son, don’t shame women who like sex. Sex is fun, if women like it then it’s fun for you too. You will get more of it and you will have more fun with it because sex for most of us is enjoyable. Be honest with it. Women won’t disrespect you for being honest about this. Yes there are some “bad women” out there who lie about sex and rape, but the vast majority of women are not lying. The vast majority of women never even get to tell people about the rapes and they are judged for it. Don’t be the guy who does this to them. It’s not hard, it’s easy. Just be honest and respect her limit. And Son? The best way to get a lady to talk to you is not some stupid gimmick but “You seem interesting, do you want to come to the bar and get a drink with me so we can talk?”.
4. Son, be honest about your feelings. The Secret to a good relationship is communication and honesty. Not games. There is no trick to making a woman like you. Just be yourself. The people who fake it to impress each other don’t last. I know it’s hard to see it when you start off but trust me on this. Fake people are easy to spot if you yourself are honest. Have faith but don’t be gullible.
5. If you are yourself and you respect people for who they are then you will be loved. Do not hide what you are and what you love. Don’t pretend to be something you are not. Even the Eagle can fall in love with the Snake if they are both honest.
What’s your advice to your sons (hypothetical or otherwise!). Answers in the comments. (Critique too)
I really should get some “Even an Eagle can Fall In Love With a Snake” T-Shirts made…