Gay? Why not go down to Christian Mingle

Think of what the shirt says… You will get it…

Clearly it’s a joke. Christian Mingle doesn’t promote “the gay sex”. It’s a Christian place for Christian people and clearly these Christians don’t think you can be gay, believe in Jesus and want to meet another man for romance. Not so for Haywood Bynum (the 3rd).

As I perused the internet in my duties as cultural protector, I came across a very interesting thread on internet website  A poster’s good friend had bought himself a new shirt, heralding his new success with dating website  The shirt clearly reads ‘I met my boyfriend on’ and for us stewards of morality, this should be seen as an ultimate danger.

Ultimate Danger? Gays fucking (with appropriate protection) is not an Ultimate Danger. Cardiovascular Disease is.

A good friend of mine lost his wife about ten years ago.  After much convincing, he finally went back onto the dating scene and has been using to find a new mate that God will eventually introduce him.  But now he has to take great care, because the person he is meeting online, sharing juicy details about his life, heart and soul, may be dancing the fandango and grooming him for a homosexual encounter.

Jehovah works in mysterious ways. Often through the medium of internet dating.

Except that there are GAYS! Out to get the innocent Christian? This will not stand!

I don’t know how you would groom someone to fancy men. I don’t think men are attractive. I cannot see the attraction of having sex with a man. It’s probably due to me being straight. I think gay men probably think the same of my attraction to women. However at no point can any man say anything that would make me want to sleep with them.

When they meet for the first date, the big reveal will be that he’s fallen in love, online, with a man?  How confusing would that be, to find out you fell in love with someone from the same gender, just based on their conversation, humor and details of their life over time.

Or you know. Use Skype. Or you know, go on dates and stuff before declaring your undying Christian love.

Christians need a safe place to date and now that there is more temptation for homosexuality on ChristianMingle, only time will tell the true effects.

If you think Homosexuals are a temptation then you probably have some issues you need to work out. (HINT – You may be gay). It’s not them, it’s you.


  1. jackiepaper says

    Why is it that only anti-gay bigots are afraid of being tempted into gay sex? And why on Earth do they think that gay people want to have horrible, inhibited sex with a self-shaming fundamentalist? In what way would that be fun?

    Who sits around worrying that they’ll volunteer to have sex with someone they don’t find attractive?

  2. says

    They think Christian Mingle is how they’ll get GOD to assign them a mate, but then they get all scared because their “god-given” dating site might get them into a relationship that’s against God’s will? All they need is one small, simple logical step to realize that Christian Mingle is just another man-made thing, and is lying when it promises it’s getting tips from God.

    These people are so stupid and gullible they shouldn’t even be in the gene pool at all.

  3. MaryL says

    Yeah, so stupid they don’t think that at that first meeting they can say, “I’m not gay. Good-bye.”

  4. Yellow Thursday says

    @1: I want to say “or pansexual”, but I don’t think folks who think like Haywood Bynum would consider that there might be genders other than “male” and “female.”

  5. Psychopomp Gecko says

    Darn homosexuals, tempting us with their firm butts and tight abs. Makes me sick just to think about it over and over and over again. Heck, I even dream about it some nights. Sometimes I even think about it when I’m performing my husbandly chore in bed. My wife even realizes when I do it because that’s the only times when she starts praying during sex, calling out for Lord.

    Darn gays.

  6. Funny Diva says

    “stewards of morality” used un-ironically?
    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
    Not sure whether to laugh or *head-desk* at that one.
    Pretentious much?

  7. Sastra says

    When they meet for the first date, the big reveal will be that he’s fallen in love, online, with a man?

    This guy’s not worried about the gay, he’s really worried about the catfish.

  8. says

    Henry Rollins did a pretty hysterical spoken word bit about “mars needs aryans” – apparently he had some fun on one of the racist dating sites. (I had no idea they existed at all) It’s pretty fun to contemplate but trolling for good is still trolling and trolling is not a particularly righteous activity.

    I might feel a bit differently if it was a site full of people devoted to hating people like me for no good reason. I haven’t experienced that and I imagine it might piss me off enough to retaliate.

  9. sosw says

    I don’t think men are attractive. I cannot see the attraction of having sex with a man. It’s probably due to me being straight.

    As a straight man myself, perhaps I’m a bit different or perhaps I interpret your terminology differently…

    I can tell whether I consider a man more or less attractive, and I’m not afraid to have opinions on their looks or express them in certain types of conversation (e.g. talking about which celebrity is hotter etc.), although obviously I don’t go around judging people by their looks(*).

    Still, I don’t find men sexually or romantically attractive. If I try to imagine sexual acts with a guy I consider attractive, it just doesn’t turn me on, nor do I feel that I want to be in a relationship with them, although I might like to be good buddies.

    Women and my imagination…I get turned on way too easily even if they aren’t particularly attractive, although for relationships it takes quite a bit more in addition to that.

    Perhaps attraction and sexual/romantic attraction are separate, perhaps it takes a bit of a change in thinking to separate to two, perhaps it simply is – as I speculated above – a terminological difference or perhaps (this is not meant to be accusatory, only speculative) there might be a mild remnant of homophobia involved in straight men (in particular; the dynamic seems a bit different for women) refusing to even think of how other men look.

    (*) Additionally, there’s a lot more to “looks” than just looks, unless you’re simply viewing a photo. Charisma is a pretty big, complicated and multi-faceted factor.

  10. Tman says

    Fellow atheist med student here. Love your blog. However, I’m pretty sure the article you’re quoting and criticising here was taking a piss at christians by pretending to be one. It’s probably a parody. The website you linked to appears to be progressive as well, making that even more likely. Poe’s law, I guess?


  11. freemage says

    Yeah… I poked around at the website under Heywood’s name, and his articles are all well beyond the pale of plausibility. It’s a decent satire, but it definitely is satire.

  12. microraptor says

    Christianmingle is a hilarious site. Apparently, none of its users have thought of how odd it is that their god needs a starship dating site.

  13. Jonah says

    Read the rest of Leviticus. If you eat shrimp or mix fabrics you’re going to he’ll apparently. I’m gay. I love Jesus. I can’t stand his fan club. Get over yourself.

  14. TalyaKron says

    I love how as I’m reading this there’s an ad for ChristianMingle on the left side of the page.

  15. says

    I have just heard from my sister, Mary.Love me,love my dog.I have my hair cut every month.How niceprettycoldfunnystupidboringinterestingMy car needs washing.I want to take a walk along the river bank, singing my favorite songs.I want to take a walk along the river bank, singing my favorite songs.Opportunity knocks but once.The answer is zero.I’m looking forward to a prompt reply.

  16. says

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  17. Atticus says

    Hold up, the statement that God somehow is involved in the inner workings of the website in matching process, and ALSO that there is a possibility that you will be “wrongly” matched with a man when you are straight are contradictory. How can God be involved, and also wrongly match you with a man. Is God fallible, or is it perhaps the site’s claim that you will find God’s match for you not entirely disingenuous?

  18. Atticus says

    And by saying you can be “wrongly matched with a man.” I of course mean a man posing as a woman.

    (“Hold up, the statement that God somehow is involved in the inner workings of the website in matching process, and ALSO that there is a possibility that you will be “wrongly” matched with a man when you are straight are contradictory. How can God be involved, and also wrongly match you with a man. Is God fallible, or is it perhaps the site’s claim that you will find God’s match for you not entirely disingenuous?”)

  19. A Lesbo Believer says

    You know, I have a deep relationship with God and I am Christian. Seeing how people perceive written works, in this case the Bible, is really hilarious. People will read and think just because they read something they understand it, not realizing the content in which the context of things are written in, contain many factors. The Bible has been written in many versions and the words in the Bible have had many redefined meanings from many years ago; many of which the definitions have been lost but supposedly figured out. Looking at how the human race is full of mistakes and misinterpretations in which have been later found out about, you would think people include the Bible in this and realize that the Bible might be more complex than they think, but sadly they don’t. There are a lot of poor examples of Christians are out there, and further many whom don’t understand the beginnings of it all and the reasons why things are they way they are, and why we have so many different people still existing with God’s permission; therefore causing the Bible to seemingly contain many contradictions all because they subject a versus in the Bible to one definition, not realizing that the Bible is not about the surface of a versus but the intent of the versus through the context, time and references to which they refer to. This is the exact result of our watered down, dumbed down existence we have on this earth today, and why Jesus was needed for us; because we are all human and will never get it right… God and Jesus both knew that. The devil kills and wants to destroy, this is in the Bible, also, God loves everything he creates, also in the Bible…but yet those poor examples of Christians will find a way to have these two things confused and make it seem like the Bible contradicts. This only means that the way things are seen are misunderstood by A LOT of people. And people judging others are really in danger because they will be judged for all those wrong accusations they have committed, even though they thought they were in the right; failing to see that they don’t know what is right, only God through Jesus does and the Bible is just a guideline to make your life easier on earth (which is the devil’s playground).

    My point in all of this, Christian mingle is just another business, and another gimmick that unfortunately people of today’s time will fall for just because it’s what they want to believe in. They will make it their truth when there is actually know value to this “truth” they believe in. God is about intent, true actions of the heart and giving him praise through all of it, making sure you know who gave you that mindset and giving him credit; not to false idols and definitely not to other flesh who die and do wrong just like yourself. That’s what he cares about and this is prominent in the Bible more than ANYTHING else, particularly in the story of Job. At the end you have to love God more than anything because he gave you everything, but if you love your wife, husband, partner, cars, technology or anything else that can disperse in a drop of a hat more than God, whom in which gave you this possibility in the first place, he’ll give you a wake up call, because these people/things of flesh ultimately at the end can’t help you the way you need, no matter how much they try and care for you. He could care less about who a person loves, but focuses on the reasons for the love. Many versus and stories in the Bible are not well understood and therefore many lies get out about what a person should do and what a person shouldn’t, which is why these false believers have turned many people away from God; and this is what angers him. He actually talks more about adultery and many others things because the reasons behind it have no value or good intent. He shows this through stories and versus which have a deeper meaning, but because people are scared and lazy, they rather subject them to a surface “don’t do it” where it will contradict other areas in the Bible where an action has been done and perfectly fine in that time.

    I know this is long, but I felt this a perfect place to post this. I am a proud masculine lesbo, and I am definitely a believer of God and his Son, but am NOT a believer of false ideas of the flesh…especially CHRISTIAN MINGLE. Great article for debate.

  20. A Lesbo Believer says

    I meant to say “poor examples” and not false believers. Didn’t know how to word it so I am used to saying that.

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  23. says

    So how do you fall in love by sharing all your personal & intimate information without once mentioning if you are a man or woman, let alone gay or straight? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! And quite amusing!

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