Think of what the shirt says… You will get it…
Clearly it’s a joke. Christian Mingle doesn’t promote “the gay sex”. It’s a Christian place for Christian people and clearly these Christians don’t think you can be gay, believe in Jesus and want to meet another man for romance. Not so for Haywood Bynum (the 3rd).
As I perused the internet in my duties as cultural protector, I came across a very interesting thread on internet website Reddit.com. A poster’s good friend had bought himself a new shirt, heralding his new success with dating website ChristianMingle.com. The shirt clearly reads ‘I met my boyfriend on ChristianMingle.com’ and for us stewards of morality, this should be seen as an ultimate danger.
Ultimate Danger? Gays fucking (with appropriate protection) is not an Ultimate Danger. Cardiovascular Disease is.
A good friend of mine lost his wife about ten years ago. After much convincing, he finally went back onto the dating scene and has been using ChristianMingle.com to find a new mate that God will eventually introduce him. But now he has to take great care, because the person he is meeting online, sharing juicy details about his life, heart and soul, may be dancing the fandango and grooming him for a homosexual encounter.
Jehovah works in mysterious ways. Often through the medium of internet dating.
Except that there are GAYS! Out to get the innocent Christian? This will not stand!
I don’t know how you would groom someone to fancy men. I don’t think men are attractive. I cannot see the attraction of having sex with a man. It’s probably due to me being straight. I think gay men probably think the same of my attraction to women. However at no point can any man say anything that would make me want to sleep with them.
When they meet for the first date, the big reveal will be that he’s fallen in love, online, with a man? How confusing would that be, to find out you fell in love with someone from the same gender, just based on their conversation, humor and details of their life over time.
Or you know. Use Skype. Or you know, go on dates and stuff before declaring your undying Christian love.
Christians need a safe place to date and now that there is more temptation for homosexuality on ChristianMingle, only time will tell the true effects.
If you think Homosexuals are a temptation then you probably have some issues you need to work out. (HINT – You may be gay). It’s not them, it’s you.
25 comments
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michaeld
January 23, 2013 at 12:35 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
“(HINT – You may be gay)”
Or Bisexual… that one always seems to get left out.
jackiepaper
January 23, 2013 at 12:41 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
Why is it that only anti-gay bigots are afraid of being tempted into gay sex? And why on Earth do they think that gay people want to have horrible, inhibited sex with a self-shaming fundamentalist? In what way would that be fun?
Who sits around worrying that they’ll volunteer to have sex with someone they don’t find attractive?
Raging Bee
January 23, 2013 at 12:42 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
They think Christian Mingle is how they’ll get GOD to assign them a mate, but then they get all scared because their “god-given” dating site might get them into a relationship that’s against God’s will? All they need is one small, simple logical step to realize that Christian Mingle is just another man-made thing, and is lying when it promises it’s getting tips from God.
These people are so stupid and gullible they shouldn’t even be in the gene pool at all.
doublereed
January 23, 2013 at 12:51 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
I love how so much homophobia can be legitimately confusing for straight people…
MaryL
January 23, 2013 at 1:23 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
Yeah, so stupid they don’t think that at that first meeting they can say, “I’m not gay. Good-bye.”
Yellow Thursday
January 23, 2013 at 3:00 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
@1: I want to say “or pansexual”, but I don’t think folks who think like Haywood Bynum would consider that there might be genders other than “male” and “female.”
Psychopomp Gecko
January 23, 2013 at 3:35 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
Darn homosexuals, tempting us with their firm butts and tight abs. Makes me sick just to think about it over and over and over again. Heck, I even dream about it some nights. Sometimes I even think about it when I’m performing my husbandly chore in bed. My wife even realizes when I do it because that’s the only times when she starts praying during sex, calling out for Lord.
Darn gays.
Funny Diva
January 23, 2013 at 3:49 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
“stewards of morality” used un-ironically?
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
Not sure whether to laugh or *head-desk* at that one.
Pretentious much?
Sastra
January 23, 2013 at 5:46 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
This guy’s not worried about the gay, he’s really worried about the catfish.
Marcus Ranum
January 23, 2013 at 6:18 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
Henry Rollins did a pretty hysterical spoken word bit about “mars needs aryans” – apparently he had some fun on one of the racist dating sites. (I had no idea they existed at all) It’s pretty fun to contemplate but trolling for good is still trolling and trolling is not a particularly righteous activity.
I might feel a bit differently if it was a site full of people devoted to hating people like me for no good reason. I haven’t experienced that and I imagine it might piss me off enough to retaliate.
Twitter24
January 23, 2013 at 6:40 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
Hi, just wanted to say i liked this article. it was practical. keep on posting
sosw
January 23, 2013 at 6:28 PM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
As a straight man myself, perhaps I’m a bit different or perhaps I interpret your terminology differently…
I can tell whether I consider a man more or less attractive, and I’m not afraid to have opinions on their looks or express them in certain types of conversation (e.g. talking about which celebrity is hotter etc.), although obviously I don’t go around judging people by their looks(*).
Still, I don’t find men sexually or romantically attractive. If I try to imagine sexual acts with a guy I consider attractive, it just doesn’t turn me on, nor do I feel that I want to be in a relationship with them, although I might like to be good buddies.
Women and my imagination…I get turned on way too easily even if they aren’t particularly attractive, although for relationships it takes quite a bit more in addition to that.
Perhaps attraction and sexual/romantic attraction are separate, perhaps it takes a bit of a change in thinking to separate to two, perhaps it simply is – as I speculated above – a terminological difference or perhaps (this is not meant to be accusatory, only speculative) there might be a mild remnant of homophobia involved in straight men (in particular; the dynamic seems a bit different for women) refusing to even think of how other men look.
(*) Additionally, there’s a lot more to “looks” than just looks, unless you’re simply viewing a photo. Charisma is a pretty big, complicated and multi-faceted factor.
blar
January 23, 2013 at 7:17 PM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
“…only time will tell the true effects”
So very true.
Tman
January 23, 2013 at 10:38 PM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
Fellow atheist med student here. Love your blog. However, I’m pretty sure the article you’re quoting and criticising here was taking a piss at christians by pretending to be one. It’s probably a parody. The website you linked to appears to be progressive as well, making that even more likely. Poe’s law, I guess?
T.
freemage
January 24, 2013 at 1:36 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
Yeah… I poked around at the website under Heywood’s name, and his articles are all well beyond the pale of plausibility. It’s a decent satire, but it definitely is satire.
microraptor
January 24, 2013 at 1:52 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
Christianmingle is a hilarious site. Apparently, none of its users have thought of how odd it is that their god needs a starship dating site.
http://datingcougarshq.com
January 24, 2013 at 8:56 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
continuously i used to read smaller posts which also clear their motive, and that is
also happening with this piece of writing which I am reading now.
Twitter26
January 24, 2013 at 2:05 PM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
Hi, just wanted to say i liked this article.
Jonah
January 30, 2013 at 3:17 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
Read the rest of Leviticus. If you eat shrimp or mix fabrics you’re going to he’ll apparently. I’m gay. I love Jesus. I can’t stand his fan club. Get over yourself.
GeileJanette
February 12, 2013 at 9:30 PM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
I really like your writing style, great information, thank you for posting
. “Silence is more musical than any song.” by Christina G. Rossetti.
TalyaKron
March 2, 2013 at 9:30 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
I love how as I’m reading this there’s an ad for ChristianMingle on the left side of the page.
Janine Felder
March 13, 2013 at 12:25 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
oueermingle.com is coming soon dont worry!
Janine Felder
March 13, 2013 at 12:27 AM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
sorry it’s queermingle.com
Oakley Frogskins
March 21, 2013 at 3:08 PM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
I have just heard from my sister, Mary.Love me，love my dog.I have my hair cut every month.How niceprettycoldfunnystupidboringinterestingMy car needs washing.I want to take a walk along the river bank, singing my favorite songs.I want to take a walk along the river bank, singing my favorite songs.Opportunity knocks but once.The answer is zero.I’m looking forward to a prompt reply.
Darrell
April 20, 2013 at 6:41 PM (UTC 5.5) Link to this comment
Oh brother.