It’s been a long time since we’ve done a Japanese space-menace movie. What were thinking? Especially given that we can combine that with a giant turtle. That’s right, this Wednesday, it’s time for Gamera vs. Viras!
Yes, we’re doing it. We’re going to watch God’s Not Dead. Why not? We’re (most of us) atheists. We’re (all of us) masochists. What else would we do? Aside from hide under our beds rather than watch this movie, that is.
How could you, Kevin Sorbo?
Your Mock the Movie crew is indulging themselves on two fronts this month. First, we’re taking on a classic film with a decent script, good actors, and stat- of-the-art (for 1954) special effects. Then, while we’re doing that, we’ll also be playing Spot the Nimoy, because we can.
That’s right, we’re watching Them!, that granddaddy of nuclear paranoia monster films. Don’t worry, though. There’s still plenty to mock even in a decent film. We’ve got this.
Once upon a time, someone, or several someones, told us we had to do a Jeff Speakman movie. They suggested The Perfect Weapon as peak Speakman. The only problem was that we’d already done Miami Connection. I won’t say we won’t repeat bad, because zombie movies, but even we have our limits.
So we found one better (worse): Deadly Outbreak. No, not Outbreak, but the film made the next year to cash in on the popularity of the still-not-very-good epidemic movie by adding terrorists and martial arts. Really, there are endless variations on bad.
Yes, we’re functionally twelve. I fully expect that we’ll sit down to Journey to the Seventh Planet and largely forsake the classic science fiction plot for ass jokes. We can’t be held responsible, though. Just look at the teaser text on this trailer.
When someone said, “I yelled at the screen through that whole movie”, we knew we were on the right track. When we saw Jason Statham, Ron Perlman, and Ray Liotta together…in a sword and sorcery flick…from the director of the Blood Rayne movies….with Matthew Lillard and Burt Reynolds…well, there might have been cackling.
As Dark Dungeon comes out, it seems only fair to remind everyone that Jack Chick is not the only person who can pen a terrible, terrible movie about the game. In fact, Chick at least wasn’t trying to be entertaining. The makers of the 2000 Dungeons & Dragons had no such excuse.