Paint Me on Velvet

What do you get a very good friend who has almost everything he wants and really only wants for things you have no power to give him? Well, if he’s an author with a sense of humor and a bare wall over the mantle that’s been begging for art for years, you might get him this.


That’s right. You give him a velvet painting of the cover art from his first book–in the “delightfully ostentatious golden ornate frame.”

And how do you procure such a thing? You hire an agent to have the painting done in Tijuana, where they take velvet painting far more seriously than you do, and you end up with something frighteningly awesome (seen here just finished, pre-framing and shipping).


But how do you keep said author from discovering that something is afoot during all the arrangements? Well, you don’t do what James did and start cackling about evil plans two months before Christmas, or chatter with your co-conspirators with shoulders hunched and heads tilted together. Luckily for us, Kelly is very good at compartmentalization and refused to do much speculation before the unveiling, because if I’d run misdirection, he’d really have known something was up. As he said, “From the way you said, ‘Evil,’ I suspected I was the victim.”

Then you unveil it at a Christmas party with as many of the conspirators present as possible. You play a mariachi version of “La Bamba” to tell the world that the cheese factor is entirely intentional. Someone notes, “It’s the first unveiling I’ve been to that wasn’t a tombstone.” Your friend is speechless for an hour for the first time since his wedding, and you are entirely satisfied.

Oh, yes, and you don’t forget to tell John Scalzi that it’s all his fault.

Paint Me on Velvet
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Sleeping Weather

Maybe it’s because it was the first season I experienced, but I happen to think that fall in Minnesota is pretty much perfect.

Cool nights, perfect for snuggling. Warm days in which sun falling on skin is both tangible and welcome. Winds suddenly made manifest by their burdens. Scents of woodsmoke (even in the city) and crumbling leaves that make me sneeze.

Impermanent color. Death that is only dormancy. Sleepy schoolchildren waiting on the corner. First frosts and heavy frosts, with every blade of grass looking sharp enough to cut. Migrants overhead, the early birds and the late. Crows returning to claim the park. Squirrels shut securelly out of the eaves.

The return of shoes. Wrapping fingers around steaming mugs to ease the joint ache. Red ears and noses and long delays in pulling out the heavy coats. Brief awareness of every outdoor breath. Big, fluffy, transient snow.

Apples and squash and cranberries and baking and roasting. Proud pantries. Gunpowder on the wind. Butchery in the kitchen. A diet suddenly heavy in meat, making room in the freezer. Friends and freshly brewed beer and kittens in front of blazing oak fires.

Perfect. Truly.

Sleeping Weather

I Love Eddie Izzard

And not just for his great taste in eyeliner. Or for this:

More for this:

I had always wanted to do a big physical running challenge, and this seemed a great way to do it and also raise money to help Africa and the poorest countries in the world as well as projects that Sport Relief fund in the UK I was also going to be advised by Olympic experts who have worked with Sport Relief before. They would help me keep running in the right direction.

So I told them I wanted to try to run around the whole of the UK. London to Cardiff to Belfast to Edinburgh and back to London, running through as many parts of the UK that lie in between our 4 capitals.

Long, amusing story short, he’s running about 1,100 (or 1.100) miles in six or seven weeks. That’s more than a marathon a day, with the occasional day off.

So far, he’s made it to Cardiff. If you want to support him in this Herculean effort, donate here.

I Love Eddie Izzard

Too Good to Keep to Myself

I’ve given him almost a week, but DuWayne still hasn’t posted this link to some of his music on his own blog, just in the comments on mine. So rather than assume he’ll think to post it in the middle of travels and school, I’ll just tell you myself: Go check it out.

The first one, which you are free to ignore, is only with us, because someone recorded the show where it was first played, thus the lyrics were actually captured. Unfortunately, it was rather popular with our friends, so I wasn’t allowed to change it when we did the studio recording…

Good stuff, particularly the last two.

Too Good to Keep to Myself

Why Sci Is Awesome, #276

“I want to send you something. What is your address?”

So I told her, her being Scicurious. She said it would come from The Devil’s Panties, which I should go read, along with Girl Genius. Girl Genius I already read, and Devil’s Panties is fun (though I’m nowhere near current yet). Now I was curious.

I refused to spoil the fun by going to the store and looking around, though, and I’m so glad I didn’t. I wouldn’t have laughed nearly as hard when I opened my mail yesterday.


Yes, those are playing cards of men in kilts being willingly assaulted with leafblowers. Really.

I sent Sci an email that was nothing but giggling. I’m still giggling today.

So, Sci, here’s a picture from the last Scotland trip, just for you. I think you’ll recognize the guy in the middle.


Anybody needs me, I’ll be sitting over there, playing solitaire and giggling.

Why Sci Is Awesome, #276

Reappeared

Home again, having paid out much sleep debt, eaten much good food, shriveled my fingers in the hot tub and spent many hours in silly and serious conversation with friends. This weekend’s game of choice was apparently creating the world’s most insipid revolutionary slogans.

  • Foreground the optical substrate!
  • Up with the hoi polloi!
  • Inconvenience the bourgeoisie!

We were also the zoo exhibit of choice for several does with yearlings.

“Stay here between us, kids. You’ll be safe. They’re behind glass.”

“Why don’t they do anything? They’re just staring at us. Do they act like that in the wild?”

“No, honey. They’re much more dangerous in the wild.”

“Eek! One moved! Run away!”

Anyway, off to bed so as not to undo all the good I just did myself.

Reappeared