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Jun 03 2013

Mock the Movie: Sociopath Edition

Here it comes. Finally. This Wednesday, June 5, we mock Atlas Shrugged, Part the First. Look upon John Galt, ye compassionate, and giggle. Or fall asleep.

Just try not to mock it. This one is, of course, not freely available, but it is on Netflix and Amazon Instant.

Two weeks later, on June 19, we take a different view of what it means to free yourself from pesky government intervention with Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, a movie that appears to be so incoherent that even it’s IMDb description can’t be followed.

This movie is freely available on YouTube.

Then, on July 3, we’re back to cheap, cheesy sci fi with the 1978 War of the Robots. This Italian film doesn’t seem to have a trailer–or no one has bothered to save it for posterity–but here’s a quick taste.

This one is also all over YouTube for free.

“These all sound awful!” I hear you cry. Yes. Yes, they do. “These must be mocked mercilessly”, you say. Well, then you’re in the right company. The instructions for playing along:

  1. Start following @MockTM on Twitter.
  2. Start watching the movie on the appropriate Wednesday at 9 p.m. EDT.
  3. Once you’ve got the movie going, tweet your snarky comments to @MockTM.  Directing our tweets to @MockTM will keep our followers from being overwhelmed with our snark!
  4. Set up a search for @MockTM on Twitter for the duration so you can follow along with everyone else sharing your pain.

If you have suggestions for other movies that can and should be mocked, send them to @MockTM. Preference will be given to movies that are free or stream on the major media delivery services. Watch the feed, and we’ll set up the calendar for more terrible, mockable movies.

If you’ve missed a mocking, you can catch transcripts and even subtitle files for later watching on the Mock the Movie archive.

3 comments

  1. 1
    Robert B.

    Huh. Apparently I still have a visceral emotional reaction against the notion of brutally mocking Atlas Shrugged. The human brain is a difficult thing to change… In the interest of retraining myself, then, my take on the trailer:

    The director seems to have decided that the theme of individualism means that everyone should deliver their lines as though they’re standing in an empty room. They set it in the modern day, which is blazingly stupid – in that setting, Dagny as the only woman in industry anywhere will make the audience think of the movie’s sexism instead of the characters’, the recurring metaphor of railroads as the engine of the economy is completely lost, and the existence of cell phones and the internet breaks the plot about two thousand times. (It’s a science fiction story about trains, for Athe’s sake, hadn’t any of them ever heard the word “steampunk”?) They wanted to make one of the characters black, and they apparently picked Eddie fucking Willers, the shmuckiest shmuck who ever failed to affect a plot. And last but certainly not least, if you are making something called “Atlas Shrugged Part I” where John Galt has lines, you are DOING IT WRONG. First of all he talks like a political manifesto, and the book was only good when he didn’t have dialogue; second, he’ll have plenty of chances to talk too much in the ending because I KNOW you’re not cutting the stupid speech; and third the slow buildup of the idea that John Galt is even a real person (let alone the shadow protagonist that the focus characters are mistakenly fighting against) is one of the three or four really good literary ideas Ayn Rand ever had and you just completely ruined it. Your script has the line “Who is John Galt?” in it about fifty times, so from what orifice did you pull the idea that you wanted the audience to answer it, every time, with “He’s that guy we saw ten minutes ago wearing an anachronistic hat?”

    And I know I said “last”, but can I just take a moment to go back to the time period thing and rant about the hat? Yes, it was in all the original imagery, but you have deliberately and incomprehensibly chosen to set the movie in a century when WE DON’T WEAR THOSE ANYMORE! You just made your genius scientist revolution-leading visionary look OLD-FASHIONED.

    And if you absolutely had to set the movie in the modern day then it should have been “Midas Martinez” or “Midas Muhammad” because THAT WAS ABOUT RACISM, DUMBASS!

    *pant, pant*

    Okay, that felt good. I don’t have Twitter or Netflix and I do have work in the evening, so I probably won’t join in tomorrow, but, yeah. Cool.

  2. 2
    PZ Myers

    I hate to break this awful news, but Atlas Shrugged II is now on Netflix.

  3. 3
    Stephanie Zvan

    I’m not sure there’s enough booze in all of their fake Jazz Age for that.

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