All right. For realz this time, we’re moving back to Wednesdays. This Wednesday, May 8, we’re exploring hacksploitation cinema. That’s a thing, right? Because something like .com for Murder is better–or at least fundable–if you put it in virtual reality. You can tell it must be great, because we can’t find a trailer. Have a terrible movie poster instead.

This one is available on Netflix. Do help us mock it, won’t you?

Then, two weeks later, because we’re apparently on a bad tech movie kick, we’ll be mocking Expect No Mercy. We don’t expect we’ll be giving this film any. There will be Tae Bo jokes.

This movie is also freely available on YouTube.

Then…oh, then comes June 5. And on June 5 comes Atlas Shrugged, Part the First. Look upon John Galt, ye compassionate, and giggle. Or fall asleep.

Just try not to mock it. This one is, of course, not freely available, but it is on Netflix and Amazon Instant.

“These all sound awful!” I hear you cry. Yes. Yes, they do. “These must be mocked mercilessly”, you say. Well, then you’re in the right company. The instructions for playing along:

1. Start following @MockTM on Twitter.
2. Start watching the movie on the appropriate Wednesday at 9 p.m. EDT.
3. Once you’ve got the movie going, tweet your snarky comments to @MockTM.  Directing our tweets to @MockTM will keep our followers from being overwhelmed with our snark!
4. Set up a search for @MockTM on Twitter for the duration so you can follow along with everyone else sharing your pain.

If you have suggestions for other movies that can and should be mocked, send them to @MockTM. Preference will be given to movies that are free or stream on the major media delivery services. Watch the feed, and we’ll set up the calendar for more terrible, mockable movies.