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Mar 11 2013

Mock the Movie: Good Alien, Bad Alien Edition

Last time, Mock the Movie brought you The Hollywood Cover Girls as black-leotarded, moon-based schemers. If you prefer your viewing pleasure male and your aliens a bit more alien, this is your week. This Wednesday, we present Dolph Lundgren in Dark Angel.

How many cop movies explicitly credit actors as “good alien” and “bad alien”? As we try to do as often as possible, this movie is free on YouTube. Now with updated link.

Two weeks from then, on March 27, we will watch DNA, because it isn’t enough to rip off a major science fiction film. Additionally, one must add the threat of weaponized dinosaurs. Or dinosaur-things. Or mega-soldiers powered by dinosaur DNA. You know, like you do.

This one isn’t free for everyone, but it is available on Netflix and Hulu.

Two weeks later, on April 10, we turn to Edgar Allan Poe. Sort of. Well, we turn to Roger Corman and what he, and only he, could do with Poe as source material. That’s right. We’re watching Masque of the Red Death.

If you would like to be utterly unprepared for the movie, you can read the short story before we start. Or you can just pull up the movie on YouTube and watch without the additional horror that is appreciating the source material.

“These all sound awful!” I hear you cry. Yes. Yes, they do. “These must be mocked mercilessly”, you say. Well, then you’re in the right company. The instructions for playing along:

  1. Start following @MockTM on Twitter.
  2. Start watching the movie on the appropriate Wednesday at 9 p.m. EDT.
  3. Once you’ve got the movie going, tweet your snarky comments to @MockTM.  Directing our tweets to @MockTM will keep our followers from being overwhelmed with our snark!
  4. Set up a search for @MockTM on Twitter for the duration so you can follow along with everyone else sharing your pain.

If you have suggestions for other movies that can and should be mocked, send them to @MockTM. Preference will be given to movies that are free or stream on the major media delivery services. Watch the feed, and we’ll set up the calendar for more terrible, mockable movies.

8 comments

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  1. 1
    Great American Satan

    One- I think I saw Dark Angel on cinemax at 3 AM a million years ago.

    Two- Is the sidekick guy there the dude from “Dream On”?

    Three- Dolph Lundgren is a genius. His acting proves that genius in one field doesn’t automatically apply to all. Phoniest sex scene this side of Greg Hippolyte productions – Dolph and Tia Carrere in Showdown in Little Tokyo, AKA the movie that is only ever rented by Brandon Lee completists and people that thought they were grabbing Big Trouble in Little China.

  2. 2
    Great American Satan

    Four- Mark Dacascos in DNA. Chairman Kaga’s nephew and american Iron Chef MC. Why doesn’t he roundhouse kick the losers on that show? Why did he have to die in the boring PoS Pact de Loups? Racism! Mark Dacascos forever! I hope I’m spelling his name right.

    Five- Vincent Price. Much like Sam Jackson (and Jurgen Prochnow in DNA), way too good for the usual movies he was in, but can’t turn down a paycheck. What’s up with the artistic integrity, motherfuckers?

  3. 3
    Jafafa Hots

    :( I can’t.

    I just…
    can’t.

  4. 4
    Stacy

    Hey wait a minute–Masque of the Red Death is a pretty good little flick!

    Granted, it ain’t Citizen Kane, but it’s good. Screenplay’s by Charles Beaumont.

  5. 5
    PZ Myers

    Dark Angel has been yanked from YouTube. Got an alternate link? I’m not finding one.

  6. 6
    Stephanie Zvan

    Yes!

  7. 7
    Argle Bargle

    Vincent Price. Much like Sam Jackson (and Jurgen Prochnow in DNA), way too good for the usual movies he was in, but can’t turn down a paycheck.

    Wrong verb tense. Price died 10 years ago.

  8. 8
    Argle Bargle

    Sorry, Price died 20 years ago, in 1993.

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