Aug 12 2012

Offerings for Atheists

Friday night was the baseball game promoting the Minnesota Atheists and American Atheists. The St. Paul Saints became the Mr. Paul Ain’ts for an evening of decent baseball (though the Ain’ts lost) and very silly promotions by the announcer. He joked about Kant. (Yes, really.) Sasquatch ran across the field between innings.

Friendly conversations were had while waiting for the bathroom. Kids had faces painted. Grilled cheese and pizza and hot dogs were eaten. Beer was consumed. The custom jerseys made for the game sold out.

It was generally a success. This apparently made some people unhappy. These were what we found on cars outside the game–only those on public property, of course.

Okay, so that one was in shade as well as being close to sunset.

That’s a little easier to see, if not to look at. Yay, torture porn…or something.

Nothing like a little imperial imagery in your religious tracts.

Or how about a little racism?

All the nastiness aside, I’m not sure why they thought a single tract would make a difference to people who are comfortably out in their atheism and used to dealing with aggressive religion. Or why we’d do anything but laugh when we opened them up.

Still, it was terribly sweet of them to think of us. Or something.


Skip to comment form

  1. 1
    Yui Daoren

    Me: “I have found religion!”
    Friend: “What?”
    Me: “Yeah, someone stuffed it under my winsheild wiper. I guess they didn’t want it anymore.”

  2. 2
    Pierce R. Butler

    Gotta admit the first verb in that last image fits very well.

  3. 3
    Anne C. Hanna

    Hah, brilliant response, Yui.

  4. 4

    Disgusting. Wonder what would have happened if any pro-Atheist cards were put on people’s windshields.

  5. 5
    HJ Hornbeck

    Yui @1: I’ll need your signature here, just to confirm your receipt of one Internets.

  6. 6


    It does appear that poor Mary is the target of some giant cosmic bukkake.

  7. 7

    @6 Amenhotepstein: I had to go look up bukkake. Thank you for furthering my education.

  8. 8
    David Hart

    Pierce@2: “Gotta admit the first verb in that last image fits very well.”

    Yeah, I wish I could remember who it was that phrased it, “The angel said: The Holy Spirit shall come upon thee, and thou shalt conceive a child. And Mary said: Will that work?”

  9. 9

    There’s no way the last one is not a stealth parody. No. Freaking. Way.

  10. 10

    …oops, that’s actually genuine Jack Chick. That guy truly transcends Poe’s Law.

  11. 11
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    Atheists not acting like Vikings? Quick, get in there with some windshield flyers before they convince people it is possible to be good without God(TM)!

  12. 12
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    That last shot of the Chick Tract desperately needs sound effects.

  13. 13

    You should thanked them for the generous gifts, and offered them some barbecued baby.

  14. 14
    James Sweet

    On a related note, I think the cashier at the grocery store told me to “Have a blessed evening” last night. I’m not sure, because I was in a huge hurry (had to get to the Breaking Bad party in time!!!) and I actually started saying “You too” and walking away when she had only yet gotten “Have a–” out yet. I stopped a few feet away and turned around kinda befuddled. I’m not 100% sure what she said, and it would have been VERY uncharacteristic for this grocery store (in fact, I’m pretty sure if she DID say it and I said something to management, she’d never be saying that again..!) It was just — weird. Unexpected.

    But, priorities. Breaking Bad! Had to go. Ah well.

  15. 15

    Hey! Chick tracts are like collector’s items or something. Be sure to put them in a sealed plastic bag to preserve their mint condition! That “Big Daddy” one should be filed in the box right next to the “Little Black Sambo” placemats.

  16. 16

    I used to love finding Chick Tracts at University. They inspired me to become the athiest I am today

  17. 17
    Jason Thibeault

    Hey, if you do this theme night again, you could leave a little pile of ash (e.g. “burnt offerings”) on each windshield of all your cars before these jokers come leave more tracts.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>