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Dec 28 2011

“Christ” Is What I Call My Biceps

FreethoughtBlogs has a new sponsor popping up in the sidebar, Not of This World Clothing. No, I’m not going to link to it. It will be gone soon, as we try to get rid of ads that don’t actually offer our audience anything they may want.

Their tagline is “Bold Christian clothing.” I haven’t managed to work out yet what they mean by “bold.” It’s either a reference to their t-shirts having oversized graphics or their persecution complex in action. Because, you know, it takes so much bravery to come out as a worshipper of Christ in our Christian Nation®. Or something.

Whatever they mean by it, apparently Bold Christian men look like washed and pressed skatepunks, and Bold Christian women wear hearts in bright colors. Well, they do if they’re not planning to be strong. If they are, time to wash them out.

Rosie: I Can Do All Things Through Christ!

Yes, Rosie, pastels really work on you. So does pretending none of your strength is your own. Good look you got going there. I bet it’ll get all the Bold Christian boys.

Wharrrgarbl.

10 comments

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  1. 1
    Jason Thibeault

    Of course. All good things must be Christified because they are not TRULY good until they ooze Jebus from every pore.

  2. 2
    sqlrob

    I’m curious, whatever happened to “Thou shalt not steal”?

    I tend to doubt Lucas licensed Star Wars.

  3. 3
    PalMD

    Sounds like something Captain Hammer would say.

  4. 4
    julian

    There’s a joke somewhere there involving parting the red sea but I can’t think of it.

  5. 5
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    So does pretending none of your strength is your own.

    -Years ago, shortly after I rejected belief in any higher powers, I would feel sad for musicians, singers, or actors during awards ceremonies. Upon receiving an award, so many of them immediately thanked god. My response was “you do yourself a disservice by thanking a non existent entity. Thank your parents. Thank your coach and your sister. Thank your record label. Thank any actual entity. Don’t thank the imaginary man in the sky.”

  6. 6
    Ben Zvan

    I sent an email to Lucasfilm. I hope they get it.

  7. 7
    Salmo

    Pretty sure this counts as parody, legally speaking.

  8. 8
    sqlrob

    @Salmo:

    I doubt it. It’s not a direct commentary on the original.

  9. 9
    sqlrob

    @Salmo:

    Err, let me clarify. You’re probably right about the Rosie. The Star Wars, I doubt it.

  10. 10
    jalyth

    Some of those are hilarious, but I can’t buy them ironically because a portion of the money goes to Christian charity.

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