Thoughts on a Wedding


Some random thoughts and moments from yesterday’s wedding:

  • A kilt is always appropriate at a wedding. It gives people with nothing in common but the couple something to talk about.
  • The thing that annoys me the most about a religious wedding ceremony is the way it shortchanges the role of the couple’s community.
  • I’d never realized before that when the bride and groom face each other for their vows, each is also facing the other’s representatives, making the vows to them as well.
  • If a minister wants to speak of marital disagreements as an opportunity for each party to be “perfected,” he might want to avoid referring to it as the “friction” of marriage.
  • The people who behave the best while the minister is making unwitting sexual innuendos are those most likely to make them themselves outside the ceremony.
  • If one has a recently divorced friend in the crowd, one might want to make sure one’s friend is not going to the wedding alone, especially if the ex will also be there.
  • The hour between the ceremony and the reception is the perfect time to nip off to a local bar with friends and have a better beer than will be served at the reception.
  • If the crowd is large enough, you will see someone you’d given up on seeing again.
  • If the crowd is large enough and there is a place for it, someone will be inspired to duck into a closet or some such and have sex at the reception.
  • The staff will know about this.
  • They will gossip.
  • Sit with the photographers at dinner.
  • My husband’s photography has fans among professional photographers. (“It’s like meeting Jesus!”)
  • The hot young thing about whom everyone is talking is off limits, guys. (Married and not looking to be flirted with.)
  • Wedding cake is always better with fruit in it.
  • Someone will choke up while giving a toast.
  • Someone will make reference to the bride’s ex, or the groom’s, or both.
  • Someone will have been toasting already and not be quite as intelligible as usual.
  • Four hours into the reception is too long to wait for the dancing.
  • Even fabulous shoes need to be broken in again after sitting in the closet for months.
  • I still cry at weddings, at least the good ones that have been a long time coming.
  • This was one of the good ones.