Problem: Any Syrian refugee might be a terrorist in disguise.
Solution: Ban all Syrian refugees.

Problem: Anyone using the women’s rest room might be a rapist in disguise.
Solution: Close all public rest rooms.

Problem: Some Muslims killed a horrifying number of innocent victims.
Solution: Assume all Muslims are potential terrorists until proven otherwise.

Problem: Some theists killed a horrifying number of innocent victims.
Solution: Assume all theists are potential terrorists until proven otherwise.

Problem: Some Muslims want to destroy America.
Solution: Assume all Muslims want to destroy America.

Problem: Some Christians sodomize altar boys.
Solution: Assume all Christians are pedophiles.

Problem: Anyone driving a car might be a drunk driver.
Solution: Ban all driving.

Problem: Some men are rapists, muggers, murderers, or thieves.
Solution: Ban all men.

I realize these measures may seem extreme to some, but these are difficult times, and the only way to be absolutely safe is to commit ourselves to blind, unreasoning prejudice wherever possible. Vote Republican! Homeland über alles! Sieg heil!