Auggh No, This Does Not Make Me Want To Stay Alive!

If you’re a courageous soul, then go ahead, play the video. It’s the absolute slaughter of the Bee Gee’s Staying Alive. I cut out when I got to the “I got my food, I’m staying alive” part. It seems pizza is also mentioned, but I didn’t get there.

“This show today is so important,” Bakker warned. “God woke me up and I felt the presence of God like I never felt and He said, ‘Jim, I want you to do more food, build a new type of food.’”

“This is what God is saying to me,” he added. “We’re in the Last Days. The years I spent in prison, God showed me the revelation and I’m telling you, almost all of it [has already happened.] We’re going to see the End of Time and that is where we are right now.”

What happened to the whole rapture business? I thought all the good christians were gonna be whisked away. Anyroad, think before you click play, that’s one unholy horror show.

Via RWW.

The Most Precedential Presidential Of All!

Toddler Trump, by Sham.

In one of his “FEED MY EGO” rallies, the Tiny Tyrant waxed idiotic about being presidential:

At a campaign-style rally in Ohio, President Donald Trump claimed he could act more “presidential” than any previous White House occupant, with the exception of President Abraham Lincoln.

“And I say – great schools, smart guy – it’s so easy to act presidential,” Trump claimed. “But that’s not going to get it done.”

“With the exception of the late, great Abraham Lincoln, I can be more presidential than any president that’s ever held this office,” Trump claimed.

“It’s real easy,” Trump added.

I agree, it’s easy enough to act presidential. That’s not the same as being presidential. And I wouldn’t be so fast to rate your acting abilities, Donny, they are abysmal. You haven’t been able to get one fucking thing done, unless you count regressively banning transgender people from the military. That’s hardly some great feat, you incompetent fuckwit. The only reason that was done was to give the Religious Reich another gift from their Theocalypse wishlist.

Have you informed the ghost of Andrew Jackson that he’s been supplanted by Lincoln?

You can see some of the replies to this latest declaration at Raw Story.

“It’s just like God…”

Jehovah’s Golden Boy.

All the religious reich has gotten together and are defending Kushner, why he could not possible have colluded in anything, no sir! Some of the um, reasoning is seriously ridiculous.

I can’t help but admire Jared and Ivanka. The two of them have put their lives entirely on hold in order to pursue the good of their nation, and I have found them to be particularly interested in our concerns as evangelical Christians. It’s just like God to use a young Jewish couple to help Christians in the United States defend their rights, and secure their religious freedom for now, and for subsequent generations. – David Jeremiah.

Oh, so that’s just like Jehovah, is it? Yet another idiot who doesn’t seemed to have read the bible much. There’s more dangerous idiocy to behold over at Right Wing Watch, and if you feel like being scared silly by what’s happening in wingnut land, aka America, take a look at their front page.

Scaramanga Scaramouche Scaramucci: Two-Faced Turnabout.

Anthony Scaramucci CREDIT: AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster.

Oh what a different song he sings! Scaramucci was no fan of the Tiny Tyrant, but of course, he’s contorted himself into a complete 380. While he has been busy scrubbing his past tweets, he can’t control all the times he ranted about what a rotten egg Trump is, and how he should stick with real estate. Whatever Scaramucci’s talents might be, he’s not so great at the spokesperson business, having attempted a tight mouth denial about Russia, citing an anonymous source, only to spill that his source was Trump in the overwhelming heat of a second question.

This is Scaramucci, ranting about Trump in 2015:

In 2015, Scaramucci appeared on the Fox Business Network to talk about politics. They played a clip of Donald Trump attacking “hedge fund guys.”

Scaramucci responded with an extended rant against Trump, calling his new boss “another hack politician” and “anti-American.” He said Trump’s rhetoric is “very, very divisive.”

He wasn’t done.

“It’s very very divisive. I’ll tell you who he’s going to be president of,” he said, looking into the camera, “you can tell Donald I said this, the Queens County Bullies Association. You gotta cut it out now and stop all this crazy rhetoric spinning everybody’s heads around.”

Another host interjected that it was rich that Scaramucci finally drew the line with Trump’s rhetoric on “hedge fund guys,” after everything Trump had said about women.

Scaramucci agreed with her.

“I don’t like the way he talks about women, I don’t like the way he talks about our friend Megyn Kelly, and you know what, the politicians don’t want to go at Trump because he’s got a big mouth and because [they’re] afraid he’s going to light them up on Fox News and all these other places,” he said. “But I’m not a politician. Bring it. You’re an inherited money dude from Queens County. Bring it, Donald.”

Think Progress has the full story.

Hex, Vex, Spell, Jynx, Satanic Curse, Blood Curse and Demons!

Execration Figurines.

Lance Wallnau is still at it, declaring a veritable storm of witchcraft is swirling about his darling, Trump. He seems to think that all those faithful chanting their incantations, er, prayers are missing the mark though – they forgot about Trump’s family! Oops.

“People are praying for the president, but they’re not necessarily praying for his family,” Wallnau said. “So right now, all those witchcraft curses that did not land on Donald Trump are trying to take out his kids, trying to take out his offspring, trying to attack anything near him.”

Wouldn’t kids and offspring be the same thing?

As evidence of this theory, Wallnau cited an incident in which a friend was once “casting a demon out of somebody” and the demon transferred itself into the family dog, which then jumped out of the car while it was driving down the highway and was killed.

You really need to think your little anecdotes through, Lance. Was this exorcism taking place while people were driving somewhere? Don’t do that shit, it’s endangering others. Let’s pretend your friend got busy with an exorcism, at which he also had his dog with him. The demon gets driven out of whoever, then decides to dive into the dog. Why? Why in the fuckety fuck would a demon bloody bother with that, then wait until they were in a car, so it could commit dogicide? Seems to me this is a bunch of bullshit cooked up to explain to the family why their irresponsibility got their dog killed. Tsk. It’s not nice to lie, Lance.

As such, Wallnau declared that “we take authority over every hex, vex, spell, jinx, satanic curse, blood curse, every demon assigned to destroy the health of the president, to destroy the health of his family, to harass him, to vex him, to cause him to lose sleep.”

“In Jesus name, we veto every curse that has been brought against Donald Trump and his family and his administration,” Wallnau proclaimed, as he repeatedly spoke in tongues.

Oooh, Voces mysticae! I wonder if you know the roots of that, Lance. I think you’re talking to demons, dude.

Wallnau later declared that the prayer that Rodney Howard-Browne led over Trump when several Religious Right pastors visited the White House recently was designed to prevent Trump from having a stroke.

“The devil is trying to get him and his family,” he said. “And I heard Rodney Howard-Browne say when he laid hands on the president, he was worried there was a stroke coming; well, we veto that stroke in Jesus’ name! That is nothing but stress and we’re breaking it off of him right now.”

Um, what if a stroke is Jehovah’s will, Lance? Isn’t there some kind of non-interference with “god’s will” rule?

Via Right Wing Watch.

‘America must be ready to nuke first’

Wikipedia.

Donald Trump’s nominee to be an assistant secretary for the Defense Department’s nuclear, chemical, and biological defense programs believes that the U.S. has the right to preemptively unleash nuclear weapons on other countries.

The New Republic‘s Emily Atkin wrote on Friday that Trump has nominated Guy B. Roberts to — according to the job description posted on the DoD website — “prevent, protect against, and respond to weapons of mass destruction threats” and advise Defense Sec. James Mattis on “matters concerning nuclear, chemical, and biological defense programs.”

Roberts, Atkin said, has a strong resume. He is a 25-year veteran of the Marine Corps and has worked in nuclear weapons policy for NATO.

However, he is a strong proponent of the controversial doctrine of “first-use nuclear policy,” the belief that the U.S. reserves the right to strike other countries with nuclear weapons at will.

Pres. Barack Obama considered joining a “no first-use” pact, which Roberts responded to in 2016 with an essay for The National Interest titled “America Must Be Ready to Nuke First.”

In the essay, Roberts argued that the U.S. must function as a bulwark against Russian military aggression.

Mr. Roberts seems to have missed the memo detailing how Russia is our best fucking friend forever these days. It’s bad enough being stressed to the limit by every single day the Tiny Tyrant remains in office. It’s bad enough that there are calls to beef up the military even more, because the Great American Empire™ is collapsing, and military dominance is the holy solution, you bet. Now we get an idiot with an itchy trigger finger. I am now more worried about nuclear war than I was back in the 1960s and 1970s, and I was fair worried back then.

Via Raw Story.

The Trump Prophecies.

Mark Taylor really wants in on that sweet prophet profit. I guess the whole “Trump cracking down on satanic pedophiles” went over well.

It all started as the retired firefighter watched Trump give an otherwise innocuous interview to Fox News. In his book, Taylor describes how God spoke to him as the interview went on: “The Spirit of God says, ‘I have chosen this man, Donald Trump, for such a time as this. For as Benjamin Netanyahu is to Israel, so shall this man be to the United States.’”

From that moment on, Taylor explains, he felt his political and religious role shift dramatically—realizing that he “was no longer simply Mark Taylor” but also “Shakina Kami,” a name that supposedly translates from a combination of “African” and “Indian” languages into “Beautiful One Whose Desires Are Fulfilled, and in Whose Life the Lord Dwells with the Divine Wind of Providence.” The rest of the book is devoted to revealing Taylor’s visions about how Trump is the “chosen one” who will unite the “Army of God.”

In case you’re wondering, Mr. Taylor is quite white in appearance. I wonder if he bothered to think over that name business, it’s hardly the sort of name to win Trump’s affection. And why supposedly African/Indian names? All the pasty white names gone?

For example, Taylor argues that “we simply must stop saying that the Church and/or God doesn’t belong in politics” and, as such, he believes that God will use Trump to unite Church and state by evicting “the evil that currently resides” in the government, in some cases “possibly” arresting politicians who oppose the administration. Among those that will be replaced are five Supreme Court justices, who will be overthrown in a dramatic fashion: with one retired, one dead, and three forced to resign amidst scandal. In addition to purging the government, Taylor explains, the Spirit of God often tells Taylor that President Trump will finally defeat all threatening non-state actors as well, such as the “illuminati and ISIS.”

Goodness. That’s an awful lot to put on an incompetent moron’s plate.

However, according to Taylor, this process will not be without difficulty. Taylor frequently supplements his prophecies with stories of personal obstacles: Namely, Taylor describes how he is targeted by evil spirits for “speaking out against the powers of evil that have strongholds in high places,” especially in the Supreme Court. In some instances, Taylor uses self-aggrandizing superhero tropes to depict his battle with “demonic” and “powerful” spirits, who try to undermine his mission to expose them. Taylor boasts about how he has called upon “the physical self-defense strategies” that he “had learned to rely on as a fireman” in order to “reach out and attack” the “powerful” and “demonic” spirits that torment him at night.

Right. So you do battle with your blankets at night. I’m sure I’m all impressed over here. How about a squid spirit, had one of those yet? I’d like to know what awesome super fireman physical defense strategies you use for that one.

Taylor describes how the Christian Army should oust political opposition:

The Spirit of God says, ‘America, get ready, for I AM choosing from the top of the cream, for I AM putting together America’s dream team, from the president and his administration, to judges and congress to ease America’s frustrations!’ The Spirit of God says, ‘Rise up, My Army, and get in the fight… Rise up! stomp the enemy’s head with bliss; send the enemy back to Hell and into the abyss.’

I certainly hope you aren’t planning on writing a bible, Mr. Taylor. That’s worse than the crappy prose in the bible, and it’s not easy being worse than that. So, you skimmed Exodus and Psalms, and that’s what you came up with. Yikes. I do imagine you and the Tiny Tyrant would have a grand time talking to one another, a perfect storm of idiotic incoherence.

Oh, there is much more at RWW, along with a photo of Mr. Taylor.

“Napoleon finished a little bit bad,”

The Tiny Tyrant has been talking again. It’s not good.

Donald Trump gave a long, rambling interview to the New York Times on Wednesday in which he mangled facts about French history.

Reflecting on his time in France earlier this month, the president talked about the downfall of Napoleon and showed a high level of historical illiteracy.

“Napoleon finished a little bit bad,” the president began. “His one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death. How many times has Russia been saved by the weather?”

Trump then reflected that Hitler made the same mistake in his decision to wage war in Russia during the winter.

“Same thing happened to Hitler,” he said. “Not for that reason, though. Hitler wanted to consolidate. He was all set to walk in. But he wanted to consolidate, and it went and dropped to 35 degrees below zero, and that was the end of that army.”

[…]

“But the Russians have great fighters in the cold,” he said. “They use the cold to their advantage. I mean, they’ve won five wars where the armies that went against them froze to death. It’s pretty amazing. So, we’re having a good time. The economy is doing great.”

Oh hey, here’s everything I know about French military history: Napoleon, well, bad. Russia, great! Hey, this is a good time. Is there chocolate cake? Oh yeah, the economy is doing great! Bottomed out, but great! Jesus Fuckin’ Christ.

Via Raw Story.

“What do you want us to do?”

Photo illustration by Sagmeister & Walsh. Set painters: Colossal Media.

The Atlantic has an article up about what congressional rethugs think about the whole Trump/Russia business. Turns out, they don’t much care. I’m sure we’re all veddy surprised. This little bit stood out though:

Like many of his colleagues, the aide expressed profound annoyance when I asked him if there would ever come a time when Republicans turn on Trump. “What does that even mean? What do you expect us to do?” he replied. “I hear this with every little Tweet [from Trump]: ‘Oh, when are Republicans going to put an end to this?’ What do you want us to do, seize his Twitter account?”

No, you silly twit. I’d like for you to do your fucking job, and impeach this illegal, traitorous idiot. That’s what I want. Now that you know, perhaps you could all do your job?

Full story at The Atlantic.

Oh There’s Crazy Alright.

Donny Trump: “The Senate must go to a 51 vote majority instead of current 60 votes. Even parts of full Repeal need 60. 8 Dems control Senate. Crazy!”

The only thing crazy here is just how utterly ignorant the Tiny Idiot Tyrant happens to be. The Senate doesn’t work that way. The Murica Excuse for Healthcare crashed and burned, in large part due to some republicans getting a half ounce of sense, and fearing for their careers in the face of constituent anger. Not that there’s reason to be happy here, there isn’t. Yes, action by people forced this travesty to be trashed, but there won’t be any replacement which is remotely workable, which is not what the rethugs ever wanted anyway. They’re simply appalled by the idea of healthcare, and don’t want there to be any at all, and that’s exactly what they are going to do, repeal, make some noises about replace later, and drop it like a radioactive potato.

Some reading:

Trump reacts to Trumpcare failure by revealing he has no clue about Senate rules.

Repeal and delay is back, and even worse than Trumpcare: The CBO estimates that if Congress repeals Obamacare, 18 million would lose coverage next year alone.

Trump vows to let ACA fail.

The Twitterati respond to Trump’s most impressive failure.

Made In ‘Murica.

Vice President Mike Pence laughs as U.S. President Donald Trump holds a baseball bat as they attend a Made in America product showcase event at the White House in Washington, U.S., July 17, 2017. REUTERS/Carlos Barria.

It seems this is “Made In Murica” week, one of those mind-numbing idiocies of the Tiny Tyrant. As usual with all of Donny’s ideas, this one means absolutely nothing. Very little is manufactured in uStates anymore, and for that to be different, oh my, radical changes would be needed, to say the least. What this all comes down to is Donny playing with some toys, and puffing hot air around a bit.

Donald Trump promised on Monday he would take more legal and regulatory steps during the next six months to protect American manufacturers, lashing out against trade deals and trade practices he said have hurt U.S. companies.

Trump climbed into an American-made fire truck parked behind the White House, took a swing with a baseball bat in the Blue Room, and briefly donned a customized Stetson cowboy hat in front of cheering manufacturing company executives from all 50 states gathered to hear him praise their products.

“I want to make a pledge to each and every one of you: No longer are we going to allow other countries to break the rules, steal our jobs and drain our wealth,” Trump said.

Other countries are not breaking rules, nor are stealing jobs. American corporations hand them jobs. That’s a bit different. They aren’t draining “our” wealth. The people doing that, gosh, they would be you, your family, and others who have mass amounts of money which is never ever enough.

He was speaking to a trade show – albeit one with a protectionist bent – organized by the White House to spotlight his efforts to revive the flagging manufacturing sector.

[…]

Trump did not give details about what his administration would do to protect manufacturers, but he railed against tariffs charged by other countries and unfair trade practices.

“That includes cracking down on the predatory online sales of foreign goods, which is absolutely killing our shoppers and our shopping centers,” he said.

“If you look at what is going on with shopping centers and stores and jobs and stores, it’s been very, very tough for them. They’ve have had a very hard time, closing at numbers and records that have never been seen before,” he said.

Who in the fuck knows what Donny means by predatory online sales. Pretty sure he’s not talking about Amazon. The world is full of amazing goods, why shouldn’t people buy those things? When I have a bit of extra pocket money, I like to shop at Novica. Every now and then, I get a fierce craving for Yorkshire Gold Tea or other such goodies, and I love being able to buy them, and no, I don’t buy anything through Amazon. For the most part, I try to support independent businesses, whether they are in uStates or not. I don’t see the slightest thing wrong with that. What Donny misses is that shopping in uStates is near dead because most people don’t have money to spare, and big box corporation stores are eating everything else alive. Not that I expect the Tiny Tyrant to have the very least understanding of economics. All he knows is graft, tax write-offs, and not paying anyone except himself.

Trump spoke in front of a panoply of iconic American-made products: Gibson guitars, Maryland crab pots, a Delaware-made NASA space suit and Cheerwine soda.

Ah, well, I’m sure we’ll all run out and purchase all those things.

He discussed sales of Sikorsky helicopters – “I have three of them!” he said, lifted horseshoes made with Nucor Corp steel, and strolled past vacuum-sealed Omaha steaks.

Jesus Fuck. Divorced from reality does not even begin to cover it.

He told the manufacturers that he was working for a “level playing field” for their wares.

“But if the playing field were slanted like a little bit toward us, I’d accept that also,” Trump said.

Mmmm hmmm. But it better not be level or slanted a little bit towards anyone else, oh no! Asshole.

Via Raw Story.

Now, when it comes to all the crap the Trumps sell:

The White House on Monday refused to say whether President Donald Trump’s business would cease manufacturing in China and other countries during the administration’s “Made In America” week.

[…]

But it wasn’t clear if Trump — who manufactures his products in Bangladesh, China and Mexico — was ready to give his jobs to American workers.

A White House official ducked the question when CBS Correspondent Mark Knoller asked about products made abroad.

“I will get back to you,” the official reportedly said.

Uh huh. Full story here.

Terrorism Tourism.

A group of tourists take part in a two hour “boot camp” experience, at “Caliber 3 Israeli Counter Terror and Security Academy ” in the Gush Etzion settlement bloc south of Jerusalem in the occupied West Bank. It is part of a counter-terrorism “boot camp” organised by Caliber 3, a company set up by a colonel in the Israeli army reserves.
REUTERS/Nir Elias.

A tourist takes part in a two hour “boot camp” experience, at “Caliber 3 Israeli Counter Terror and Security Academy” in the Gush Etzion settlement bloc. Entrance to the gated compound in the Gush Etzion settlement bloc – built on land the Palestinians want for their own state – costs $115 for adults and $85 for children.
REUTERS/Nir Elias.

A tourist carries a poster as he takes part in a two hour “boot camp”. The aim of the mock scenario is to teach foreign visitors how to deal with an attack on a market.
REUTERS/Nir Elias.

An Israeli instructor speaks to children from overseas holding wooden cut-out rifles. Yasser Sobih, mayor of the nearby Palestinian town of al-Khader, condemned the Israeli venture. “The participation of tourists in training in these camps built on occupied Palestinian land means that they support the occupation and we ask them to stop it,” he told Reuters.
REUTERS/Nir Elias.

Here’s one stupid fucking idea. Unsurprisingly, the majority of tourists having themselves all kinds of fun at terrorist boot camp are Americans. Reuters has an extensive slideshow, and article about this particular bit of idiocy, catering to morons with superhero fantasies run amok in their heads.

Story.

Holy Laughter and Privy Secret Information.

Who are all these people? I can’t keep track of them.

Last week, President Trump met with a variety to right-wing pastors in the Oval Office, where the group laid hands upon him and were led in prayer by pastor Rodney Howard-Browne.

Howard-Browne, a pioneer of the Holy Laughter movement, posted a video late last week in which he explained that he had been moved to pray over Trump because he is privy to secret information about a “planned attack on our president.”

Uh huh.

“There is a planned attack on our president,” he said, “and that’s all I can tell you about right now; I know what I’m talking about, I’ve spoken to high-ranking people in the government and this is being planned by people that hate God, hate America, hate our president and we have to stop this, in Jesus name.”

Yes, yes. It’s a terribly privy, and of course, no one actually knows a damn thing except you. I imagine if “high-ranking” people in government knew anything about an actual plot of any kind, they would simply deal with it. Of course, given what ‘government’ has been reduced to these days, I suppose there would be much flapping of arms and denials, while no one did anything.

People that hate “god.” No. Again, let’s be god specific, please. The planet is littered with gods. So, people that hate Jehovah. Bad news, Rodney – the only people who might hate Jehovah are those who believe in it. People like myself, atheists, we know your psychopathic figment is simply that, a work of imagination. You don’t hate that which is not real. (And no, please do not make asinine comments about ‘hating’ fictional characters. That’s not genuine hate, it’s more of a sport.) People that hate America. Well, I can’t say I’m fond of your version of it, which is a fucking nightmare for all decent peoples. Hate our president. What president? We don’t have one at the moment. We have an engorged, malignant narcissist of an idiot sitting in the white house, weaving a web of fascism and nonsense, manufacturing hate by the truckload. I would love to go back to not caring one whit about Donny Trump, and being only marginally aware of him, if at all.

Howard-Browne stated that he is going to have the photo of the group praying over Trump posted in the prayer room at his church where, 24 hours a day, there will be a prayer warrior stationed “just for the purpose of praying over our president, that God would protect him, that the plan of the wicked would be cut off … that if the enemy digs a ditch [for the president], that he will fall into himself.”

Pray all you want. Indulge in hysterical laughter. Who the fuck cares? It won’t do a damn thing. Jehovah doing something about wicked people, right. Seems to me you’re flourishing just fine.

“Some of you might not understand that, you might think we’re crazy, but I tell you, if you knew what I knew, then you’d understand the urgency of the hour,” he said.

Right. There’s always some “urgency of the hour” with you people. You’ve been waiting on your big one for a couple thousand years now. Pardon my yawn. I don’t know what you supposedly have under your hat, but I don’t need to know, either. It’s all emptiness, whipping people up into a nonsense froth of fear, so you can shake their pockets out, and they’ll be grateful for it. Unfortunately, I don’t think you have the defense of insanity, all you assholes are greedy, cold, and calculating to the last penny. Fear is an easy business, easy as sex. They both sell.

“There is a fight on for the soul of the republic and God had raised President Donald Trump to be the trumpet that is going to sound in this hour …

The republic doesn’t have a soul. Neither does anything else. Trump as a Trumpet? :laughs: Out here in reality, all we’re getting is a stream of broken tweeting.

There are many traps being set all the time and already the Lord has averted many things just in the short time that he’s been in office. Let’s pray for him like never before. Maybe you didn’t vote for him, I don’t care; if you want to live a peaceful life, then pray.”

If I thought it would help, I’d pray to all the gods to have Donny drop dead in a timely manner, and we might possibly work our way back to that peace business. If any gods read this, and want to strike a deal, you know where I live.

Full article and video at Right Wing Watch.