Sunday Facepalm.

Uh Oh, it’s the Apocalypse. Again. I’ll confess, I didn’t watch the video, but I love that capture of Bakker holding up a piece of paper, with ‘Words’ written on it. There are definite echoes of A High-Tech Lynching! A Crucifixion! A Tsunami! An Earthquake! The Gates of Hell! in Bakker’s latest apocalyptic admonition.

Jim Bakker repeated his claims that criticism of Donald Trump is inciting violence and bringing about the Apocalypse and End Times, and asserted that conservative media pundits are being targeted for persecution.

Oh, the brutal bugbear of modern times – criticism! Criticism, no matter how mild, constructive, or politely couched, now considered the equivalent of purges, witch hunts, and lynchings in certain quarters, and it is beyond absurd. While criticism can certainly sting, it’s not life threatening, and it’s not a terroristic act, either. Regimes are noted for their hatred and fear of dissent and criticism though, and this does get confirmed, time and time again.

Bakker pointed to attacks on Trump as proof that “the Apocalypse has already began” and “the spirit of Antichrist” is growing in America.

“They want to kill our president, President Trump, with words,” he said. “They want to assassinate his person.”

Honestly, no one needs to go to the trouble of doing so. The Tiny Tyrant does a great job of assassinating his own character, such as it is.

Critical words about Trump, according to Bakker, are the fulfillment of biblical prophecy about the First Horseman of the Apocalypse.

He pointed to the cancellation of a Tim Allen sitcom as further proof that conservatives are under attack.

Uh…okay. The first horse, the white one, is the one which is most disputed, and interpreted rather widely. Could be Conquest, Christ, The Antichrist, Pestilence, Evil, or Empire Prosperity. Now, apparently, the rider of the white horse is Criticism! Oh woe is us and all that shit. As for Tim Allen, what? And more to the point, who fucking cares? I’d assume a sitcom being cancelled was due to the fact it wasn’t bringing in eyeballs. Or money. Most likely due to not being funny.

Bakker claimed that “the devil is trying to cut out the voice of the church” and that “they’re eliminating anyone that is pro-Trump from every broadcast; soon, very soon, the only conservatives will be on Christian television and then we’re the next target—write it down!”

Seems to me you can’t get rid of pro-Trump people in all sorts of broadcast; they’re worse than lice. If you want to claim that conservatives are being herded toward the last bastion of Christian television, you’re going to have to do some work first: Get rid of Fox news would be number one on the list. Then, scrub the internet clean. This is your mission, if you wish to be perceived as persecuted and oppressed. Good luck. This tape will self destruct in 5 seconds.

“They hate Trump,” he said. “What is this? This is not a normal spirit. This is not a normal hate. This is that spirit of the First Horse of the Apocalypse, which is riding now. It’s the spirit of hatred that’s taking over America and life and death is in the power of the tongue.”

Oh, you Christians are the specialists in hate. Most of the rest of us can’t be bothered to expend that sort of energy. I don’t hate the Tiny Tyrant. I don’t know him well enough for that. I find him disgusting, disturbingly narcissistic, incompetent to the nth degree, and remarkably devoid of skill and talent, yes. I definitely want the Volatile Clown kicked out of the political circus. After that, I don’t care what he does, just like I didn’t care before.  As for a spirit of hatred, mmm, with hateful bigots, neoNazis, and fascists all pouring out of the woodwork in support of their wannabe dictator, that’s a fair enough statement. You’re just misplacing the source of the hate.

As for power of the tongue, yes, words are indeed powerful. That would be why you should actually be more focused on not spreading hatred; and why you should pay attention when those words turn critical.

Via RWW, the video is there.

Satanists. Again.

Curtis Ellis, screengrab.

The Tiny Tyrant is more than a little too fond of Curtis Ellis, a former writer for that bastion of batshit, WorldNetDaily. Ellis is now being considered to head up the Department of Labor’s Bureau of International Labor Affairs. [Bloomberg].

“The little-known deputy undersecretary position at ILAB is considered an essential piece of the White House push to restore U.S. manufacturing jobs by cracking down on labor abuses overseas,” Penn writes. “Ellis is currently part of the Labor Department’s beachhead team and is overseeing the department’s trade policy. He has already been attending ILAB meetings and representing the bureau to foreign governments as a temporary political appointee.”

This is a serious problem for all the regular reasons, but in the case of Ellis, there’s so much more. He is convinced that multinational elites are out to run the world, installing a small, hidden, anonymous cabal of elites. All these nefarious elites, of course, are in turn run by … Lucifer! This is just so old anymore. They need a new villain.

Elite.

noun

1. (often used with a plural verb) the choice or best of anything considered collectively, as of a group or class of persons.

2. (used with a plural verb) persons of the highest class: Only the elite were there.

3. a group of persons exercising the major share of authority or influence within a larger group: the power elite of a major political party.

It’s beyond me, the constant talk of elites among the religious reich, and uber-conservatives. How do they manage to forget they have the major share of wealth and power? They are the elite, alright, the elite baddies.

Along with WorldNetDaily, Ellis also has ties to Breitbart, the outlet formerly run by Trump’s chief strategist Stephen Bannon.

In an interview last year with “Trunews” host Rick Wiles, Ellis reflected many of Bannon’s ultranationalist views and Trump’s love of Vladimir Putin, and expressed his view that a group of satanic elites is intent on gaining world domination.

Multinational elites, Ellis said, want to create “global tyranny where a small cabal of anonymous, hidden elites rule the world.”

Ellis added that this secret global cabal is a “Luciferian” and “satanic” group that elevates materialism over the spiritual world, pointing to the installation of a replica of the Arch of Baal, which was destroyed by ISIS, in New York.

“ISIS, they did destroy the archway to the temple of Baal,” Wiles said. “I guess if there’s any redeeming value to ISIS, I guess you can credit them for bringing down the Temple of Baal.”

Oh yes, Baal, the godthorn in the side of the psychopathic Yahweh. Lots of people in the bible died because they preferred Baal, God of Ekron, over Yahweh, and that bloodthirsty shit didn’t like competition, no. So not only does this idiot believe in one god of the bible, he believes in one of the other ones, too. Great.

RWW has the full story.

Sunday Facepalm: “You Deserve To Suffer!”

Jesse Lee Peterson, screen capture.

Just in time for a holiday celebrating mothers, Jesse Lee Peterson has something to say about all those evil parents who, *gasp*, remarry after being divorced. Turns out that’s just a big ol’ no no, and if you do that, you are not only seriously fucking up your sproggen, you deserve to suffer, too.

“The parents who are doing that are selfish parents,” Peterson said. “You’re selfish and you’re destroying the souls of your children … These people who are blending their families like that do not love their children.”

Peterson insisted that anyone who has a child out of wedlock or gets divorced must remain single and must not “get involved with anyone else” until their children are grown and have moved out of the house.

“You deserve to suffer,” he said. “It’s not your kid’s fault that you are out of control and decided that you were going to have sex … with the wrong person and make a baby. They don’t deserve to suffer that because you were crazy.”

Uh huh. It’s interesting how “shit happens” means you must take punishment, not matter what. Context? Doesn’t matter. Circumstances? Doesn’t matter. Why you evil creature, you had sex, you must pay! Forever! I had been unaware that having sex and a resultant child made a person crazy. That would make most everyone on the planet crazy.

Peterson says that parents who find themselves single or divorced must admit to themselves that they are solely to blame for their situation and “then God will give you love” and they’ll have no need for a partner.

Oh, I’m pretty sure that most cases of divorce are not cases of sole blame or responsibility. It’s not a frivolous matter, dissolving a legal partnership. If a person is being beaten, they are not to blame for a divorce. Takes a lot of courage to get out of such a marriage. If a person is dealing with someone who can’t keep their pants up, I don’t think you get to blame them for walking, but that’s just me. I think kids who end up in the middle of those “we must keep up appearances and stay married for the kids” relationships hate them. Kids aren’t stupid, and this sort of thinking presumes kids are idiots who wouldn’t know their parent or parents were unhappy. Discontent and unhappiness spread, quickly. If a blended family provides support and happiness, that’s a good thing, unless, of course, you’re dealing with Jehovah, who frowns on that whole happiness business.

“It doesn’t matter how nice the person is that you get involved with, the kids are not going to accept it,” Peterson warned. “In their souls, they are not going to accept it and you do a disservice to your children when you do that.”

Ah right, so even if the kids do accept the change, and like the change, and are thriving, you’re still killing them, yes you are! Souls don’t exist. No one has one, and no one is going to endanger their child’s soul by building a stable, happy family.

Via RWW.

That Ol’ Time Christian Nationalism.

CREDIT: AP /Pablo Martinez Monsivais.

As per usual, when things are not going well for the Tiny Tyrant, he runs off to Fox or somewhere else where he knows he can get the warm fuzzies. This time, he ran away to Liberty College, that bastion of future hate machines.

President Donald Trump outlined a deeply religious vision of America while speaking to graduates of a conservative Christian college on Saturday, invoking his own version of Christian nationalism and touting policies friendly to right-wing faithful.

I have noted that most journalistic outlets are now using the title of president. I don’t agree with that move, and I refuse to use it, so when it’s in a quote, you can expect to see it struck out here. Trump may be many things, but a president he is not.

“America is a nation of true believers…When the pilgrims landed at Plymouth, they prayed,” he said. “It’s why we proudly proclaim that we are one nation, under God, every time we say the Pledge of Allegiance.”

Oh for fuck’s sake. No. I am not a “true believer”, whatever definition you apply to that one. Pilgrims? Nice, invoking genocidal assholes who just couldn’t wait to judge, torture and slaughter. We don’t proudly proclaim any of that utter shit. One nation my arse. A splintery collection of states, most all of whom hate all the others. As for the pledge of allegiance, oh, there’s that vaunted ignorance again. The phrase “under God” was incorporated into the Pledge of Allegiance on June 14, 1954. That little change is a few years older than I am.

“In America we don’t worship government, we worship God,” Trump proclaimed, to thunderous applause. He later added: “We all bleed the same blood of patriots, we all salute the same, great American flag, and we are all made by the same almighty God.”

Oh my. Yeah, you don’t want government worshiped, you want to be worshiped, don’t you, Donnie? As for we worship “god”? No, we don’t. And yes, if you prick me, I bleed,* but I don’t ooze patriotism. Can’t say I’m thrilled by the idea of you being so focused on people bleeding. I am sure as fuck not willing to bleed for you.

The address also appeared to connect religion to the president’s willingness to increase military action in the Middle East, such as dropping the MOAB bomb on Afghanistan. Falwell in particular praised Trump for “bomb[ing] those…who were persecuting Christians,” and the president noted during his speech that Americans will be “hearing a lot about [military actions] next week from our generals.”

* If you prick us, do we not bleed?
if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison
us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not
revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will
resemble you in that.

– The Merchant of Venice, W. Shakespeare. [Spoken by Shylock.]

Think Progress has the full story.

“Every Democrat in America must be demon-possessed,”

Astaroth, prince of Hell, from J.A.S. Collin de Plancy, Dictionnaire Infernal. Original illustration by Louis Breton, engraved by M. Jarrault.

Oh, Gordon Klingenschmitt is on a tear again, and it’s the same old shit, but now, all democrats must be demon accessible, that’s just how it is, you betcha. If you’ve already had an internal whisper, bet this is about abortion, declare bingo.

Religious Right activist and former Colorado state legislator Gordon Klingenschmitt said on a recent episode of his “Pray In Jesus Name” program that Democratic leaders are declaring that “if you don’t serve the devil, you can’t be a good Democrat.”

Klingenschmitt was reacting to recent comments from Sen. Dick Durbin and DNC chairman Tom Perez asserting that Democrats should support Roe v. Wade and a woman’s right to make her own reproductive health choices, which he interpreted as meaning that people must agree to be ruled by demons in order to be Democrats.

Hmmm. Two men, who have managed to figure out that yes, women are actual human beings with a right to bodily autonomy, just like that which men enjoy. Definitely has to be demons, couldn’t possibly be mildly enlightened thinking, no.

“If the Bible says that something is sin,” Klingenschmitt said, “and it’s a sin to commit acts of murder against innocent children, then you can tell who the demonic spirits … are influencing when you see people like Tom Perez and Dick Durbin saying, ‘Not only shall we kill innocent children as a matter of policy, citing Roe v. Wade, not only shall we use American taxpayer dollars to pay for the shedding of innocent blood but, if you’re not demonic like we are, you can’t be a Democrat like we are.’”

Let’s break this down a bit. “If the bible says that something is a sin”, what does that matter to me? I’m not christian, and I could not possibly care less what that mess of a pastiche says about anything. Last time I looked, uStates is still not a theocracy, even as it slides down the drain. Well, not officially, anyway, so I’m not obligated to obey inquisitorial law, let alone pay attention to it.

As has come up before, many times, the bible is not the book you want people looking into to if you’re going to discuss acts of murder against innocent children. The bible is replete with the blood of innocent children, the slaughter generally accounted with a dark and triumphant glee, as if dashing the heads of infants against rocks was a grand and cheery thing to do to get your day started. Of course, when you’re talking about terminating an unwanted pregnancy, you are not talking about murdering a child. Not that christians like that distinction being made, but that is reality, and it would be nice if christians could face it just once.

And because it seems this needs to be said every five fucking seconds, federal monies do not fund terminations, full stop. The constant melodramatic hyperbole of idiotic christians is exhausting. I have no idea of where they get the energy. Demons, perhaps.

And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver. — Leviticus 27:6

According to the bible, if an infant is under a month old, it doesn’t exist, basically. It has no value. Hard to see how a zygote would figure into all that. You can see more of what the bible has to say about abortion here. Then you have cheery stuff like this:

Hosea 9:14- Give them, O LORD: what wilt thou give? give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts.

Hosea 9:16 – Yea, though they bring forth, yet will I slay even the beloved fruit of their womb.

Hosea 13:16 -Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.

Lovely stuff, ennit? I have little use for the bible, to say the least. Now, one thing which is not mentioned in all this bloodlust towards women and children: demons. Don’t figure into it at all, no, it’s just good ol’ El Shaddai, also known as ‘god’. When your ‘god’ is such a nasty, psychopathic, genocidal maniac, I think I’d probably take my chances with the demons, who don’t seem to do much at all. Of course, none of these characters are real, so it doesn’t much matter. What does matter are fucking idiots like Gordon, who want to play real world pretend with this nonsense. If you want to sit in your own dwelling or in your place of worship, and fantasise and role play this dreck, fine, have at it. But that’s where you leave it. Anything beyond that is doing actual, real harm to living beings, and even going by your own fucked up beliefs, that’s supposed to be the bailiwick of that ‘god’ of yours, so you let it fight its own battles. I’ll wait.

“They’re claiming that every Democrat in America must be demon-possessed, as they are, in order to be faithful to the views of their party,” he said. “If you don’t serve the devil, you can’t be a good Democrat. I’m paraphrasing, but that is what they are saying, isn’t it?”

Sigh. Why no, that’s not what they are saying. They simply said that women are actual human beings. Nothing about demon possession, nothing about serving the devil, who gets one hell of a bad rap, I might add. I realize that ‘god’ of yours has to have a villain, or else the whole system collapses, but wow, did that story arc ever go wrong. ‘God’ is the bad guy, and the villain doesn’t do much at all, except be a handy scapegoat. As always, I highly recommend Steve Well’s Drunk With Blood: God’s Killings in the Bible. There’s a fucktonne of killing, and most all of it, with a minor exception (the bet over Job), it’s all on El Shaddai.

Also, whoever is handling the Social Justice Warrior LGBTIA Liberal Agenda handbook or whatever, keep up! I keep missing memos, and now I find out I’m obligated to consort with demons? I have a busy schedule, y’know, I can’t fit this stuff in on the spur of the moment.

The full mess is at RWW, complete with video if you’re the glutton for punishment type.

Your Children Will Be Commies! Er, Wait, They’ll Be Transgendered Commies!

Oh, The Red Menace™! Ever present in my life. “America’s” biggest fear and greatest propaganda, the communists under the bed, oh my! Every single time I have thought that the whole fear of a commie had finally died off, it managed to appear again, ever a revenant. There was always a religious zealot or a bigoted conservative willing to reach into the closet and dust off the Red Bogeyman, conveniently updated with whatever was current or trending in culture for any given year. Today, I see absolutely nothing has changed. Seriously, all you bigoted, hateful, conservative Christian asswipes need to come up with a new shtick. The whole red menace thing is unbelievably old, and it’s now incredibly inaccurate, ennit? Really, at least try to keep up with the news, and please, not Fox.

Kevin Swanson has decided that the current Red Bogeyman is Transgendered Commies! Yes, that’s right. All children in public schools will be transformed into transgender commies, this is the new agenda™. I hadn’t received any agenda update, perhaps this one is only going out to idiots.

“The state has an agenda with your children,” he warned. “I realize that this may sound a little bit hyperbolic, it may sound [like] a little bit of an exaggeration—I don’t think it is, because I think if you begin to see the trajectory of where things have gone and you just draw it out for the next five, six, eight years, you’re going to find this is the agenda.”

“The goals of the educational program for your kids in the public schools,” Swanson continued, “the goals of the world for your children is that your kids be transgendered and communist by 20 years of age.”

“Of course this is the agenda,” he said. “Parents, just get serious about it. Do you want your kids transgendered and communist at 18 years of age? Is that your goal? If it isn’t, then maybe you ought to bring a different vision into the education of your children.”

Why yes, that does sound hyperbolic, Kevin. It also sounds downright moronic. You won’t be finding cis children wanting to be anything other than what they are, and you won’t find trans children wanting to be anything other than what they are. It’s quite simple, really. I do think you need to be a bit more specific about the whole transgender-communist connection, what exactly do you have in that department? How does the ever evil transagenda aid in creating more commies? I ask, because I don’t know if you have noticed, but trans people haven’t exactly had an easy time when it comes to being accepted, on both an individual and societal basis. I really don’t think this would be the communist plot of choice.

I remember when there was an attempt to paint The Beatles, and rock and pop music generally with the communist brush, but at least they had a veneer of a connection – mind control! Looseness, immorality, *gasp* sex! I am not getting the connection here. I think it will be a very long time before there are sufficient numbers of transgender commies to make up a conquering army, if that’s what you had in mind. Also, Kevin, make up your fucking mind, from one sentence to the next – are the kids going to turn evil when they are 20 years old, or 18 years old? Details matter, y’know. Also, it’s rather convenient you put the line at adult ages. I really think you ought to just stick with the immoral, godless commie thing. It’s worked for all these decades.

Via RWW.

It’s – It’s A Cookbook!

Loud-mouthed Loon Dave Daubenmire has a warning for Christians, but why not let everyone in on the secret? Aliens! It’s Aliens, people, start your screaming now!

Religious Right activist “Coach” Dave Daubenmire issued a rather cryptic warning on his “Pass The Salt Live” webcast this morning when he suggested that efforts are underway to deceive Christians into welcoming “extra-dimensional beings” who will soon appear as rescuers of the world.

Citing an article listed on the website of apocalyptic End Times activist Steve Quayle, Daubenmire warned that some unnamed “they” are “setting us up for the appearance of these, I believe, extra-dimensional beings that are going to come as our rescuers, the ones who are going to rescue the world and the very elect themselves, if it was possible, will be deceived.”

Yeah, okay, someone has watched The Twilight Zone a bit too much. Is the ‘extra-dimensional’ bit necessary? Seems to me if you want to sell aliens coming here with a “ooh, we’ll rescue you” con going, it would be in their interest to look like the peacemaker on Famous Fantastic Mysteries, complete with white doves, a symbol christians can be relied upon to fall for, with oohs and aahs.

Daubenmire then cited another article about the “imminent return” of the “cloudeaters,” whom he asserted were an ancient race of giants, as he marveled that “this stuff is now falling into the mainstream thought, mainstream media, mainstream science” but Christians are not paying attention.

Oh, yes, cloudeaters, giants who have this amazing technology, and they are gonna come back from … somewhere. Let’s take a look at the synopsis of Unearthing the Lost World of the Cloudeaters: Compelling Evidence of the Incursion of Giants, Their Extraordinary Technology, and Imminent Return:

UNEARTHING THE LOST WORLD OF THE CLOUDEATERS is a book unlike any other, one that demands the Smithsonian to open its hidden warehouses so the history of ancient America can be rewritten! As chronicled by Dr. Thomas R. Horn, radio legend Stephen Quayle, and two teams of investigators and film crews (following a secret conference with leaders of the Ute Nation, Zuni, and Hopi tribes) the most compelling evidence is finally unveiled involving pre-Columbian, dragon/giant-worshiping interlopers who traversed the Atlantic Ocean and secret Anasazi routes to corrupt the earliest Americans with portal-opening sorcery, human sacrifices, ritual cannibalism, and technology of the fallen ones. NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME, IN UNEARTHING THE LOST WORLD OF THE CLOUDEATERS: DISCLOSED! The truth behind the great Smithsonian cover up REVEALED! The pre-Flood architecture of the Giant Kings DECIPHERED! Pre-Flood angel civilizations and the remnants of Watchers UNCOVERED! The secret of the Anasazi and why they disappeared overnight UNVEILED! Ancient hidden stargates that medicine-men still use to see the future CONFESSED! The sacred mountains where the giant bones are kept EXPOSED! What tribal elders confessed about returning giants UNMASKED! Giant, cannibalistic gods that demanded human sacrifice DISCOVERED! Children of Cloudeaters, six-fingered, six-toed mutants UNWRAPPED! Shapeshifters, Skinwalkers, and other sky people UNEARTHED! Where the gates will open when the Cloudeaters return Learn the secrets to America’s earliest history and the truth about the giants in its past and future as you travel with Dr. Thomas R. Horn and Stephen Quayle into the most groundbreaking, history-altering investigation primed to challenge predominant, institutional dogma and scientific orthodoxy.

Well, that has crackpot written all over it. I can easily assert that the “leaders” of the Ute, Zuni, and Hopi nations had nothing to do with this, unless they were indulging in a joke. Joking about may well have happened, but I don’t expect someone like Mr. Quayle can easily discern humour. There’s just an astonishing amount of “every story we could think of” in that conspiratorial and paranoia spiced stew. So, according to Coach Dave, this “stuff” is now falling into mainstream thought, media, and science. I gotta say, that’s news to me. I’d think if scientists were going to raise the alarm about giants and mutants, they had the best opportunity ever at all the Marches for Science, but I didn’t see any signs warning people about the imminent return of cloudeaters or anything else. Haven’t seen anything on various blogs kept by scientists, either. Of course, if giant cephalopods are involved at all, PZ may well keep quiet about this one. Well, let’s see how Coach Dave finishes up:

“The MK Ultras, the satanically ritually abused children,” he said, “all that kind of stuff, it is right before our face.”

Oh, are people still going on about that nonsense? Is it too much to ask you christians on the lunatic fringe to pick one and go with it? You started with aliens, just stay with it. As for the satanist silliness, please, please, get it through your dense heads: Lucifer is a key player in the christian mythos. The whole thing falls apart without him. Anyone who is actually serious about satanism is also a christian, they just prefer a different perspective. All that “stuff” might be right in front of your face, Coach Dave, but it sure as hell isn’t in front of mine. No MK Ultra moles, no satanic children, no dragon/giant worshipping interlopers, no giants, none of it. A person might be tempted to think you’re doing a bit of mind altering acid yourself. So, anyone seen anything suspicious lately?

Via RWW.

Oh My, Randy Has A Cry.

Oh my. Prepare yourself for a treacly glurge overdose, because Rep. Randy Weber has one comin’ your way, all choked up and laced with tears, as well as a slight rewording of The Lord’s Prayer.

Modifying the Lord’s Prayer to declare that “thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth here in the halls of Congress,” Weber confessed the “sins our nation has been so emboldened to embark upon” and pleaded with God to forgive us.

“We have endeavored to try and kick your word out of public schools,” Weber said. “Father, we have endeavored to take the Bible out of classrooms, the Ten Commandments off the walls. Oh, Lord, forgive us. Father, we think we’re so smart, we have replaced your word and your precepts with drug-sniffing dogs, with metal detectors, with uniformed police officers in our schools. Oh, Lord, forgive us.”

Perhaps if you assholes were smart enough to legalize some drugs, and get serious about gun control, but yeah, real world solutions, those things aren’t good at all, no.

“Father, we have trampled on your holy institution of holy matrimony and tried to rewrite what it is and we’ve called it an alternate lifestyle,” Weber continued, his voice cracking. “Father, oh Father, please forgive us.”

:Sputters tea all over: Excuse me? Have you read the fucking bible? At all? Holy institution of holy matrimony my decidedly unsainted ass. This is barely dipping into the subject. There was a tremendous amount of fucking around in the bible, of all sorts.

“Lord, we have gone to killing the most innocent amongst us,” he wept. “Your servant Moses warned in Deuteronomy 19 for us to choose life so that we and all our descendants might live. Father, we’re killing our descendants and we’re calling it a choice. Oh, God in heaven, forgive us, please.”

Oh please. No one is killing your descendants, you silly asspimple. Whether or not I have descendants, and how many is none of your business. Once again, do you ever read the bible? Ever? In between public praying performances, perhaps? You should. I’ll help you out. I can help you out with Deuteronomy, too. You’ll have to pardon me if I simply raise an eyebrow over the thought of following the sociopath’s rule book. No thanks.

Via RWW.

A Tangled Tale: The Red Pill.

The Daily Beast has uncovered the tangled origins of Reddit’s angry and toxic Red Pill forum. It turns out the creator of said forum is a once upon a time democrat turned republican, Rep. Robert Fisher. He’s quite the specimen, to say the very least. The article is in-depth and link heavy, so just a bit here.

Last November, voters in New Hampshire’s Lakes Region re-elected to the state House of Representatives a man who appears to be one of the secret architects of the Internet’s misogynistic “Manosphere.”

The homegrown son of a preacher, 31-year-old Robert Fisher is a Republican who represents New Hampshire’s Belknap County District 9. In addition to his legislative duties, Fisher owns a local computer repair franchise, and in his spare time, seems to have created the web’s most popular online destination for pickup artistry and Men’s Rights activists, The Red Pill, according an investigation by the Daily Beast.

An investigation into Fisher’s online aliases found a trail of posts linking the lawmaker to the username Pk_atheist, the creator of The Red Pill—an online Reddit community of nearly 200,000 subscribers which promotes itself as a “discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.”

The Daily Beast has the full story.

American Atheists: In The Closet?

A study suggests many non-believers may uncomfortable telling a pollster they don’t believe in God. elenabsl / Shutterstock.

A new study suggests that the number of atheists in uStates is considerably higher than the numbers shown by traditional polls by Pew and Gallup. The study is flawed, and the authors cheerfully admit this and are working on better ways to conduct their poll, and they remain convinced there are more atheists than assumed. I don’t find that terribly difficult to believe, as atheism in this country carries a high stigma, and in a number of states, could cost people their jobs and turn goodwill towards them cold. Politics here are inextricably linked with religion, and a politician who states they are an atheist aren’t going to find themselves very popular, to say the least. Even when a lot of atheists are willing to admit it, they quickly follow it up with making nice noises about religious people, or point out that they aren’t against religion, it’s just not their thing.

I remember when atheists at large were utterly thrilled when President Obama acknowledged the existence of atheists in America. He was soundly condemned for that mention by theists. We were thrilled because that simple acknowledgement was a large risk to take. It’s a stark illustration of just how much atheism is considered to be a dirty little secret here, and in the minds of many, it remains linked with being a dirty commie.

Here’s a simple question: How many Americans don’t believe in God?

Pew and Gallup — two of the most reputable polling firms in America — both come to a similar figure. About 10 percent of Americans say they do not believe in God, and this figure has been slowly creeping up over the decades.

But maybe this isn’t the whole story. University of Kentucky psychologists Will Gervais and Maxine Najle have long suspected that a lot of atheists aren’t showing up in these polls. The reason: Even in our increasingly secular society, there’s still a lot of stigma around not believing in God. So when a stranger conducting a poll calls and asks the question, it may be uncomfortable for many to answer truthfully.

Gervais and Najle recently conducted a new analysis on the prevalence of atheists in America. And they conclude the number of people who do not believe in God may be even double that counted by these polling firms.

“There’s a lot of atheists in the closet,” Gervais says. “And … if they knew there are lots of people just like them out there, that could potentially promote more tolerance.”

Vox has the full story.

Mother Jones also has this story, but with a different perspective: the new study showed that not one single republican identified as an atheist. I don’t find that surprising at all.

Jesus: Mything in Action.

David Fitzgerald, Author of Nailed, has a new trilogy out, Jesus: Mything in Action. A lot of people, including most atheists, aren’t overly willing to concede that christianity could have happened with some sort of actual Jesus somewhere in the mess. Most people have settled on “yes, there was, or might have been, a rabbi who wandered about preaching outside the box stuff, and it all blew up from there.” Fitzgerald argues that it’s more likely the case there was no outside the box rabbi at all. Valerie Tarico has an interview with him about Mything Jesus, and the difference between historicized mythology and mythologized history. Interesting reading!

Tarico: Walk us through how Christianity could have emerged if Jesus never existed.

Fitzgerald: There’s nothing implausible about Christianity beginning with a wandering teacher and his followers. And it’s no skin off my nose if there was – but that’s not what our evidence points to. The further we go back in Christian history, the more diverse it appears, and the less likely it began with a single founder. Instead there are abundant indications that its origins are tied to the pagan mystery faiths.

Not that Christianity is some cookie-cutter copy of the mystery faiths – it is a mystery faith; a uniquely Jewish version of this Hellenistic theology. When the Gospel of Mark is written generations later, the mystery faith savior of Paul, the book of Hebrews, and the earliest Christians becomes an allegorical figure built from pastiches from the Hebrew scriptures. Jesus doesn’t fulfill prophecy; Jesus is a collage constructed from prophecy and other writings. And his story grows by leaps and bounds in the second century.

As Bart Ehrman and other biblical scholars have demonstrated beyond a doubt, most of our New Testament books are forgeries. None are written by anyone who actually knew a Jesus. The only genuine books are seven of the letters attributed to Paul (though even these have been tampered with). And of course, Christian scriptures were edited and re-edited to suit the needs of different religious factions over centuries. We have no way of knowing how much has changed from the original writings; for the first 150-200 years, we have a blackout period with nothing but tiny fragments of New Testament texts until complete books begin to appear at the end of the second century. Our earliest complete New Testaments only go back to the 4th century; although they differ from each other – and from ours.

And of course Christianity continues to evolve and mutate for the next two millennia, a process still alive and well – a perfect textbook example of Darwinian evolution in action. Modern Christians would have a hard time recognizing their religion in the beliefs of their earliest spiritual ancestors. In fact, most Christians of today would be the heretics of 500 years ago. Please note that all these problems of evidence remain – whether there was a Jesus or not.

The full interview is here.

Lemme Guess, Unicorns.

unicorns-in-the-bible

Oh, the verse on that image? Yeah, Psalm 92:10, the psalmist is referring to his penis, which will be mighty, with a bit of help from god or someone. Rick Joyner has been rehashing an eight hour trip to heaven he took a few years ago. I haven’t watched the video, because I haven’t had enough tea. Not sure there is enough tea for this kind of thing. There’s a tiny bit of info though:

As Joyner recounted to students attending his MorningStar University, he was once “so physically sick” that he was convinced that he had “Ebola plus the bird flu” and was utterly unable to get out of bed. During that illness, he went to sleep one night and “went straight to heaven.”

If you had ebola virus, with or without bird flu, you’d be decaying someplace, and we would be free of your bullshit. So much for that awful exaggeration.

“I had an eight hour earth-time experience in heaven,” he said. “I’ve had experiences where I was caught up to heaven a number of times and every time, I’m in a different place. I’ll tell you, heaven is so unbelievably diverse. There are more species in heaven than there are species upon the earth, spiritual species. You get a taste of it as you read the Scriptures and all the different beings and everything that there are; angels are just one little group in heaven.”

Oh, heaven is diverse. How about that. Seems odd you Christians have a pathological hatred of all diversity here on the planet. I’m pretty sure you don’t know jack shit about any species here on the planet, but I’d be willing to bet your heaven includes unicorns with mighty erect horns, and of course, dinosaurs. Probably with saddles on.

Via RWW.

Give God His Rainbow Back! Now!

Worst example of cultural appropriation ever: LGBTs stole the rainbow from God. It’s his. He invented it. Gen. 9:11-17. Give it back.

People have been making nonstop fun of Mr. Fischer for his indignant tweet, but rather than just letting it slide, he’s back, with a double down demand.

“The rainbow is God’s,” Fischer said. “God invented the rainbow—look at Genesis 9:11-17—He invented it, it’s His thing, He put it in the sky as a promise that he would never again destroy the earth through a flood. Are you listening Al Gore? Al Gore, you do not need to worry about the planet being destroyed by floodwaters. Why? Because God has put His rainbow in the sky to let you and everybody else know, ‘I’m never going to do that again.’”

The LGBTQ community, Fischer warned, “is using something that doesn’t belong to you. That’s cultural appropriation … You’ve culturally appropriated something that doesn’t belong to you, it belongs to God, it’s His idea and you need to give it back.”

The first thought here is how any being so utterly weak as to not be able to retake a rainbow, well why bother with it? Apparently, it never bothers Christians that they simultaneously exalt the might of Jehovah, and his absolute weakness. Also, Jehovah is a latecomer in the god business, and a fair amount of the old testament stories are lifted from earlier peoples and their mythologies, so there’s no reason to think ol’ Jehovah had a lock on a rainbow. There is the Sumerian Epic of Gilgamesh, which the OT writers shamelessly stole from when hammering out Genesis. What about the Bifrost? That’s a whole rainbow bridge, from Asgard to Midgard, which would kind of put Jehovah’s measly rainbow to shame, yeah? What about Cuchavira, god of the rainbow? How about the Greek Goddess Iris, who is the personification of the rainbow, a messenger, and the link between the gods and humanity? Iris had long been in business before your sorry god was dreamed up, so that weak god of yours loses this one. There are plenty of other rainbow ties to various mythologies as well.

You also lose the whole “you can’t have a rainbow flag!” tantrum, too. Rainbow flags are not new, have been used for centuries. So, about that cultural appropriation business…of all people, Christians need to shut the fuck up about cultural appropriation of any kind, seriously, because the list of your crimes in that category are damn near endless.

Via RWW.